A woman has taken to Reddit to ask for relationship advice after her boyfriend scapegoated her in front of his mother.
The pair had an agreement
A woman took to Reddit’s online community to explain that she’s been clear to her 29-year-old boyfriend of three years about how she doesn’t want to have children.
He told her he was on board for the most part.
He was mostly sure about it
The woman wrote, “He said he was “99 percent sure” he did not [want children] either and that if he ever changed his mind he would tell me immediately.”
His mother joked about it to them
Although the couple have been clear about their position regarding having children, the poster wrote that her partner’s mother has been asking when they were going to ‘give her grandbabies’ all year.
She even joked about the woman’s ‘biological clock’ and sent her ‘links to fertility supplements’.
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But her boyfriend doesn’t shut it down
“My boyfriend just laughs and changes the subject, but never actually tells her to stop,” the woman wrote.
“Last weekend he finally admitted that he told her he does want kids one day and that I am ‘still on the fence,’ because he did not want to disappoint her.”
The mother now thinks it’s her fault
“So now she thinks I am the one blocking her future grandkids and I am furious,” the poster went on.
“He says it is not a big deal and we can ‘figure it out later,’ but I feel lied to on two levels. Is this a fixable boundary issue or a huge compatibility red flag?” she questioned.
Commenters rushed to advise her
Under the woman’s post, users pointed out that her boyfriend had lied to her, which should be unacceptable.
“Girl break up with him,” one person wrote, “1st he lied [about] you that means he’s not grown enough to stand up for himself let alone you. 2nd he cares for his mother’s emotional wellbeing [more] than yours.”
The user doesn’t think this is a good sign
“And C do want this precedent set for your relationship[?] He will never stand up to his mother proven by lying to her about not wanting kids. Think about it,” the commenter added.
Another person wrote, “The ‘we’ll figure it out later’ line is code for ‘I’m hoping you’ll change your mind so I don’t have to.’ major compatibility red flag tbh.”
