I think that people tweeting about their spouses is one of the most underrated genres of comedy. When it’s all in good fun, you end up with a bunch of husbands and wives who’ve been exposed for being, well, husbands and wives.
It just goes to show you that no marriage is perfect. But when you look at tweets like the ones in this list, it shows that marriage is always interesting.
RELATED STORIES
Sometimes, you have to improvise.
It isn’t lost on me that this Tweet was made at the height of restaurants being closed, but why do I feel like there are plenty of people who would still do this now? It honestly sounds kind of fun…
It’s an emergency! Or… is it?
As long as you live in a home with more than one bathroom, it probably isn’t a total emergency. Still, it might be a little bit of an emergency.
Marriage is full of incredibly exciting moments!
You know, a few short years ago I would’ve made fun of people who put this much time and effort into buying a vacuum. Now, even though I’m not married, I relate to this a little too much.
Nothing like warm dishes, fresh out of the oven…
Unloading the dishwasher is such a chore… literally. But I guess if you luck out and marry someone who likes doing it, then you’ve done something right in your life.
Behind every woman there’s at least one lazy man, dog, child, etc..
Something tells me this guy may never know who his wife was talking about. At the same time, though, maybe the answer is close than he thinks…
“How dare this package not be addressed to me!”
I laugh, because I know I’d be the same way. I may buy too much random stuff online for my own good, but that doesn’t mean everyone else can!
This literally can’t go well.
Imagine needing to make wallpaper paste, and choosing a Vitamix to blend it. Thoughts and prayers to this poor man in his time of need…
Some experiences are sacred to mom-kind.
I guess it’s better to assume your family isn’t as lazy as they probably are. You know, for your own sanity.
It seems they’re at a stalemate.
I guess part of being married is knowing when your spouse is trying to bluff you into doing things neither of you want to do. Sounds like fun!
Don’t throw them away; you never know when you might need one.
The box of random cords may seem useless, but you never know when you need one. Sure, it may annoy your spouse, but not as much as when you actually get to use one of the cords.
Small victories, my friend.
This sounds like a lose-lose situation. Either the dishes are stacked in the sink, or they’re in the dishwasher all wrong. Both scenarios end with a wife who has to do more work.
First a man cold, now this…
The funniest thing is when a man complains like this in front of anyone who’s given birth at least once. Because a small cut is the worst pain imaginable, right.
As it turns out, every marriage is the same.
Yeah, I know that having a separate set of clothes you wear in the comfort of your own home is a pretty universal thing, but most people tend to throw those clothes away when they start to fall apart…
There’s always got to be one…
I feel like every relationship has one person who hogs the blanket, while the other one has to suffer. Somehow, you always end up making the bed, even if you don’t actually use the blanket…
We can do it all! Except that.
Look, it doesn’t matter how strong, independent, or capable you are, if you can’t deal with a bug, you can’t deal with a bug. Ain’t no shame in that!
Maybe just stay out of the house next time.
Not every wife cooks, but the ones who do definitely need a lot of space when in the kitchen. And it’s very hard to stay out of the way.
Marriage is just a series of tests of your observational skills.
Funny enough, I think this also applies to haircuts. I mean, they were new at one point, so it’s technically not wrong.
The dog is always the favorite in the house.
You might be married with kids, have all sorts of relatives and friends coming to your house all the time, but you’ll always favor the dog. That’s just the way it goes.
And then once you get that vacuum, it’s all about to go downhill.
Marriage is a partnership. It means dividing the chores up evenly. And if no one likes doing the vacuuming, good luck.
So that’s where the Tooth Fairy puts them!
I guess being married means having to put up with the random things your spouse does, even if they’re weird and borderline creepy. Like keeping all your kids’ baby teeth.
