Well, it looks like the movie event of the decade is on the horizon.
Are you ready kids? Aye, aye, Jake.
I can’t hear you!!!!
Only a couple more days…
A couple more days until we’re treated to the biggest cinematic event in history (well, since the last biggest cinematic event in history).
That’s right, in only less than 100 hours, we the public get to be subject to “Avengers: Endgame”.
The culmination of 11 years of cinema. This is what everything has been leading up too. Tony’s transformation from warmonger to intrepid hero. Cap’s unfreezing. Thor’s… head shaving.
However, some people have already seen the movie. And, well the reviews are in.
So, is this going to be everything everyone’s ever expected? Or will it be…
I’m just going to cut myself off there because it’s obviously something people are going to love.
Not just because it’s probably a good movie (the Russo Brothers and our beloved overlords at Disney usually deliver).
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But also because, as I said, people have invested 11 years into this franchise
They could’ve filmed the Empire State Building for 8 hours and people still would’ve probably said it was a masterpiece and somehow tied into the Thanos canon.
Maybe the Empire State Building is a representation of his obsession with Lady Death? I dunno.
The fact of the matter is, they didn’t do that, but what they did do is set the world on fire.
Early reviews are already starting to pour in, and people are going ape over this film.
Like, Planet Of The Apes ape. They really like it, okay?
Take this person, who obviously couldn’t take the twists and turns the movie had to provide.
Seriously people, don’t take the elderly, pregnant women, or small children with heart conditions to the film.
There are some people who are so caught off guard with how good the movie is that they’re just stuck on repeat.
The movie is so stunning their brains just turn into a broken record. Good lord… does Marvel really understand the power that they have in their hands?
Once again, we see the power over people’s emotions this movie has.
Especially when you look at those pictures side by side… wow, it really has been a long ride, hasn’t it? Wow, look at how young everyone looks… Wow, I’m not going to cry, I’m not going to cry…
Some of the actors even came out with their opinions on the long running franchise.
Now that it’s ended, Mark Ruffalo came out with his opinion on this huge ride. Jeez… we really hope that doesn’t spoil anything.
And then of course, there was Chris Evans’ beautiful send off to the franchise.
Ugh! No! My tear ducts are being assaulted! Ugh… Must… Not… Cry… And… Think About… How this might affect Captain America… In the movie….
Speaking of spoilers, avoiding them is going to be very hard until you can manage to get a ticket to see this thing.
Some people are taking extreme measures to avoid having the movie ruined for them.
Here are our tips:
Don’t talk to any of your friends, avoid r/4chan on Reddit, 4chan in general and greentexts in general, also you should probably attempt not to go outside.
Remember, if you do…
You risk knowing before you see the movie that Ant-Man actually goes up Thanos’ bum and expands to destroy him
Oops! Sorry! Spoiler Alert!
Well, now you probably shouldn’t even see the movie, and give all the tickets to me! (Excellent… my plan is working, soon only I will ha– oh, wait, am I still typing?)