A woman on Reddit asked the AITA community for advice after her mother refused to take care of her newborn son. Though she was expecting to be correct, everyone in the comments disagreed with her point of view.
She Wanted Her Mother To Take Care Of Her Baby
She started the post by explaining that she recently had a baby boy and her leave is close to ending. She asked her mother, who doesn’t work, to take care of the newborn while she gets back to work, but she said no.
Her Mother Is Retired
OP stated that her mother hasn’t worked since 1992 and spends most of her time watching TV. However, she told her that she was too old and tired to raise another kid, especially since she had already cared for her children when it was her time.
OP’s Mom Told Her To Stay At Home
Her mother told her she should stay home while her partner provided for them, like a “traditional” family, as she and her father did. Still, OP said her family wouldn’t survive on only one income and that she is the primary breadwinner in the house.
They Don’t Have The Best Finances
OP explained that the pandemic affected her financial situation. At the same time, she and her partner have a lot of credit card debts, student loans, and medical bills to pay. She also said they plan on moving to a bigger place once the baby is older because they currently live in a one-bedroom apartment.
Her Mother Said She Should Pay Her
Still, her mother was firm about her decision. She told her she should’ve thought about their economic situation before getting a baby, yet, the grandmother had an idea. She would take care of the baby if she paid her $20 per hour.
She Can’t Afford It
OP wasn’t happy about the rate, and she also told them they would have to give her anything she could need for the baby, like a stroller, his bottles, and more. Basically, OP and her partner would have to repurchase everything.
They Can’t Work From Home
OP didn’t accept the terms because it would be big spending for her family of money they don’t have. She insisted they need to save money to lower their debt, but they are desperate for childcare since any of them can work from home.
It Is Not Fair To Assume
If OP were expecting a positive response, she would have to think twice about her position. No one in the comments agreed with her, they believed her mother was right, and she shouldn’t have assumed she would take care of her child.
She Never Asked
Commenters said that at least she could’ve asked her while she was pregnant. They affirm her mother is in the right not to want to watch a kid every day as it is exhausting, and she already raised her family.
OP Should’ve Thought This Better
On the other hand, people believe OP was very irresponsible for not considering her and her partner’s debt before having a kid, especially considering the current economic climate. They highlighted that having a child is expensive and that sometimes you have to make sacrifices for them.
Maybe She Should Accept The Deal
They also suggested OP take her mother’s deal for at least some time because childcare can be very expensive. However, OP stated on the post that it would be cheaper for them to take the baby to childcare instead of buying everything twice.
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She Can Take Care Of Them Occasionally
A part of the Redditors is biased about OP’s opinion. They think it is reasonable to think that her mother would like to spend some time with the baby and occasionally take care of them; however, she is not obligated to.
Her Mother Has A Life
Another user shared their experience as a retired grandparent; they explained that even though they agreed to take care of their grandchild, it is a time-consuming task that only some are willing to do. Still, they confirmed that it is not fair to assume that her mother would watch the kid because she has her own life and responsibilities, even if she doesn’t share them with her.
It Seems Like She Won’t Do It Anyways
Overall, most believe grandma won’t do it even if OP agrees to her rate. They think she might have chosen an arbitrary and high rate, so her daughter would immediately refuse and go straight to daycare.
