A first-time mom has turned to the online community on Reddit as she admits she doesn’t want her in-laws to stay over for Christmas this year.
This wasn’t the original plan
The new mom explained in her post that her baby is due just weeks before Christmas, and that she and her husband had previously agreed not to host family for the holidays this year, but he recently began suggesting otherwise.
“For context our folks will usually alternate holidays as we only have one guest bedroom,” she said of their past arrangements.
She feels overwhelmed by the idea
“As a [first-time mom] the idea of having three extra people with us even if they intend to be helpful feels overwhelming on top of settling our newborn into a routine,” the new mom wrote.
She also remembered how things got pretty stressful the last time they hosted family.
She anticipates it’ll be too much
The poster wrote, “The one time we hosted everyone for Thanksgiving everyone stayed at least four days which meant we were not only feeding everyone for the big holiday but several days leading up to it.”
It became even harder when they ran out of space. “There wasn’t enough space in the fridge to feed everyone and make ahead items to reduce the load on the holiday.”
But her partner isn’t as concerned
The poster shared that her husband isn’t worried about it, writing, “My partner thinks I need to keep an open mind and has made it clear he is not telling his folks they can’t come this year.”
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“I know a few years ago his parents opted to spend Christmas at home despite being invited and vowed to never do that again.”
She still doesn’t think it’s fair
Despite this, the new mom still doesn’t think it’s fair to expect her to host the family given that she will have a newborn to take care of.
“I don’t think this is a fair or reasonable expectation especially when we just had a baby and the winter holidays are a peak time for illness and germs,” she wrote.
She’s not giving anyone special treatment
The poster wrote that she’s not even giving her own mother special treatment either. “I am saying my mother can’t be here either so I feel like I am being very fair and reasonable in my request.”
“As it is we already agreed to let them meet baby once they are born,” she went on.
She just doesn’t want an overwhelming house
“[I’m] simply asking to not have a house full of folks from out of town over the holidays when I suspect we’ll still be settling in and trying to find our footing,” the new mom wrote.
The poster was quickly given love and support by people under her post, with many telling her the request is a valid one.
Someone wrote that a newborn is already a lot of work
“The husband is an idiot,” one Redditor wrote in a blunt comment. “He has no idea how stressful it is being a first time parent when you get home from the hospital.”
“OP needs to firmly say that fine, if he wants everyone there he can do all cooking, cleaning, and hosting duties. Then you can sit back and watch the chaos.”
