Moving in with a partner for the first time is both scary and exciting. There’s a lot to look forward to, but there’s also a lot of adapting to be done, compromises to be made, and lessons to be learned from the excperience.
Someone on Reddit asked men for things they didn’t know they were doing wrong until they started living with a woman, and men were happy to share the wise lessons their girlfriends had taught them.
Specific roles.
“Can’t just use towels for generic tasks, specific towels have specific purposes. Failure to comply is sacrilege and punishable by immediate scolding.”
Duh, you wouldn’t use a face towel to clean a kitchen mess, now would you?
Quality matters.
“Bed Sheets. I used to cheap out, but pampering yourself in nice bed sheets makes it feel like you’re staying at a fancy hotel every night.”
You spend a good third of your life in that bed, you deserve to make it as luxurious an experience as possible!
Quiet time together.
“Giving her space while giving her affection. Apparently, when she says all she wants to do is sit down and watch her novelas in peace. She actually means she wants me to sit down with her. But not for too long. Just long enough.”
Drip dry.
“Not drying off in the shower before stepping on the bath mat, therefore minimizing how wet the bath mat gets.”
In touch with one’s self.
“I never learned how to pay attention to, comprehend and express my feelings. Especially the emotional-gooey-feely ones […] she had the love and patience to not only see that there was potential in me, but also to not give up on me. […] It took hitting rock bottom to understand that if I didn’t learn to do those things, I’d lose the best thing that ever happened to me. If it wasn’t for her, I’d be drunk in a ditch somewhere, probably alone.”
A three-step process.
“The act of doing laundry is not 3 separate chores (washing, drying, folding & putting away.) It is one chore and you either did it or not.”
This actually caused quite a bit of debate, with some people arguing that it’s definitely 3 different chores. Maybe this one is couple-dependent.
A helping hand.
“ALWAYS HELP WITHOUT ASKING. It’ll save your entire relationship […] If you say ‘Do you need help?'(chores etc) she’ll say ‘No I got it’ and it’s logged as the first resentment cut of a thousand. Don’t ask because you think it’s polite, just do it.”
Life-saving lessons!
“Putting out fires, thankfully! We had a little grease fire and I came running in with a bucket of water and she grabbed me by the arm and handed me a blanket instead, I almost [explicit] killed us both by being an idiot.”
Okay, maybe this one isn’t gender-related, but it’s still a good thing to learn!
Clean house, clear mind.
“How good it feels to keep my home organized and clean. After living with my now ex-wife for six years, I can’t help but do deep cleans for my mental health. I really appreciate a solid vacuum cleaner, I feel better keeping wires off the floor, I’m proud of my undersink collection of cleaners and spare sponges […], I loaded up on 30+ microfiber cloths from Home Depot so I’m never without a way to clean up dust/messes […].”
Tossing and turning.
“When I get into bed, I lie down too hard, causing the bed to shake violently. I have since learned to lie down more gently.”
“Getting a memory foam mattress was a game changer for this.” another person advised, “My husband used to bounce me awake or make the whole bed shake. Now the memory foam just absorbs his violence.”
Letting it out.
“I had no idea avoiding crying was actually a bad idea. You live, you learn. I’ll add another crying-related experience of mine free of charge: crying is an insanely effective stress release.”
Welcome home.
“Decorating and convenience items. Before I started dating my place was a fairly bare bones setup. Had rooms set up for function over comfort and now the rooms just feel more welcoming and inviting. Pillows everywhere of all different textures. Art and random colorful thing hung on the wall. Because of her I’ve found love for a good bathrobe. It’s kind of impressive how much a woman’s touch changes things.”
Fresh and clean.
“Skin. Care. My friends all laugh at me for derma rolling, beard oiling, clay mask in the shower, special serums for my under eyes, lotions & creams etc… smooth, soft skin, & (soon) softer beard. I don’t flake, I don’t itch, & I look youthful. Meanwhile my friends are endlessly picking at their faces and complaining about beard itch. Skin care, lads.”
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Just a check-up.
“Apparently I’m supposed to go to the doctor every now and then.”
Preferably, yeah! A lot of people get into the habit of thinking that they only need to go when something feels wrong, but regular checkups are essential when it comes to preventative health measures.
Longevity in mind.
“[…] caring for various things. For example how to properly store fruits and vegetables so that they don’t go bad, how to take care of textiles/clothes so that they can be used for longer etc.”
