Um? Hello? I thought anacondas were supposed to be Nicki’s thing.
This week, Kris Jenner posted a frankly terrifying video of an anaconda just chilling in Kim Kardashian’s yard. She offered no explanation for why it was there.
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I am so confused .
So, like, Kim is no stranger to snakes.
Great start to this article, but stay with me .
Back in 2016, Kanye released “Famous” from the album Life of Pablo. As we all know, he said some…pretty interesting things about Taylor Swift in that song.
Taylor was not a fan of those lyrics.
Her reps flat-out denied that Taylor was ever on a call with Kanye about the lyrics centered on her, which Kim refuted with her infamous Snapchat story featuring that very phone call.
However, Taylor DIDN’T approve the lyrics.
She gave the ok to part of the lyric, but not the part where Kanye called her the b-word.
Regardless, Kim dropped that story, as well as this Tweet. It solidified the snake imagery in Taylor’s history.
Taylor didn’t take that lightly.
The first thing she did was ban a snake emoji from ever being used in her Instagram comments.
The second thing she did was make her entire Reputation album snake-themed. That was a pretty baller move, not gonna lie.
So, as I said: Kim and snakes aren’t strangers.
But does that translate to an anaconda being in her backyard?
Well…no. But it’s snake-related, and I’m trying to follow a clue trail here. I mean, it’s the Kardashians. Nothing happens by accident with them.
Kris stopped by Kim’s house.
Now, I have a theory based on the sounds in the background of this video that Kris was actually at Kim’s house for Dream Kardashian’s birthday party.
I mean, why else would it sound like a bunch of kids were having fun in the yard?
Kris snapped the anaconda on her Instagram stories.
“There is the anaconda in Kim’s backyard right now. I think I’m gonna go home. I gotta go.” Kris actually sounded pretty calm, even though she was facing a giant freakin’ snake .
Sorry, but there’s something just not right here.
First of all, anacondas are not native to California — at least, according to Wikipedia.
They’re common in South America, sure, but not California. And they’re definitely not native to Kim Kardashian’s backyard.
AND ANOTHER THING!
Kim posted a lot of shots of her wearing snakeskin lately.
She wore a mint green Versace dress to the People’s Choice Awards, where she and the Kardashian clan took home the award for Best Reality Show.
What does it all mean?
Maybe nothing. But, as I said, this is the Kardashians.
So an anaconda in Kim’s yard probably means something, especially if she wore a snake-inspired outfit the very next day.
It COULD have been for Dream’s birthday?
Kim hosted the birthday party for Dream, Rob’s daughter with Blac Chyna, earlier in the week, too.
So the loud sounds of kids playing could be explained by a birthday party.
However…
Why on Earth would Kim hire an anaconda for a kid’s party?
It seems so dangerous to just bring a huge snake to a three-year-old’s birthday party. Not even Kim is that dumb. (Kim’s actually pretty smart, don’t @ me.)
Maybe it’s for KUWTK?
I mean, I wouldn’t put it beyond Kim or Kris to rent an anaconda for some random moment on Keeping Up the Kardashians .
Maybe Kim is doing a photoshoot? Or something?
Wait, wait, I have more theories.
Kanye…got a pet.
No, think about it. Kanye is the kind of guy who would get an exotic animal as a pet. Even if he was just renting it for a day, that’s so Kanye.
Plus, he’s just a little into religion right now.
And a snake plays a major role in the story of Adam and Eve.
WAIT. Guys, could this snake be for a music video of Kanye’s? He does have an album coming up…
Y’all, I cracked it.
It’s either a) something to do with Keeping Up With the Kardashians , and thus secretly also orchestrated by Kris herself, or
Both seem likely at this point.
