When it comes to thinking practically about marriage, you can forget about the tired old platitudes . It can be viewed strictly as an arrangement, or an agreement, to spend your life with someone — hopefully someone you get along with decently well .
Then again, maybe you go the cynical route and do it all for the money. How might that work out? The good folks over at r/AskReddit have more than a few anecdotes .
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If you marry for money, you’ll earn every single cent.
“Me and my wife are going through a divorce right now, she’s having an affair, not going to lie her dad has a 1,000,000 life insurance that one day her and her sister will split. So that was always in the back of mind as my own insurance policy one day.”
Kind of a grim outlook.
“Marrying for money turned my grandmother from a fun but occasionally snobby woman you wouldn’t mind being around into a shrewish harpy that her grandchildren loathed to spend any time with. She’s getting better now that the step-grandfather’s dead.”
If it makes the most sense…
“I married a friend of mine. She got a tax write-off and I got medical benefits. We’ve been married 8 years. One of the witnesses was the girlfriend I had at the time and she started going out with her current boyfriend that day. I’m riding an old motorcycle round the world and can’t afford medical benefits on my own. I have epilepsy which puts the cost way over my head.
It’s way cheaper tax-wise to be married in the US.”
I wonder how that one turned out.
“I am currently dating someone who I am not as fond of as I should be considering how serious we are.. but its hard to think past the money.
Her immediate family has approximately 100 million+ in the bank , the largest and most dominant business in their respective market and she loves me beyond control.
Her driveway of Ferrari’s and Bentley’s and knowing that I could be handed a 6 figure job any time I want one if I’m willing to commit is troubling to my mind and my soul but I cannot get past the thoughts of ‘what if’ …..”
Like most things, it depends.
“I have seen it happen many times and while it works for some, it doesn’t for everyone. It depends on your strategy/outlook and if you plan on simply marrying for a few years and then divorcing or do you plan on staying with this person after marrying him/her for their wealth.”
– u/b0red
Don’t knock it ’til you try it.
“My best friend and I joke around all the time that we’re going to marry some rich old guys and then marry for love after they die. We happened to be saying this while on line at Victoria’s Secret one day when the woman in front of us turns around and says ‘I did it, it wasn’t worth it.'”
Sometimes you just can’t win.
“I didn’t, but my wife’s parents thought I did, and eventually convinced her of it. I finally got tired of the paranoia and left her. I told my lawyer that I already had all my stuff and didn’t want anything of hers, that all I wanted was out of the marriage without seeing her again. And I haven’t. I did visit her uncle once: he was dying of cancer, and was the only person in her family I truly liked. (Well, I liked her, or I would not have proposed, but that faded away because of the paranoia).”
– u/darkon
Let’s put a new spin on things.
“Totally different?
My sister sucked up to my Dad, because he had money. I refused to play along. He is kinda awful, underneath.
King Lear much? He said he’d send us both to private school, we just had to say we loved him.
My Dad got a lump sum retirement, he sank most of it in AOL. I hope my sister her enjoys having him as a friend now!”
– u/JoshSN
Genuine concern or humblebrag?
“I’m actually starting to get a bit paranoid about women being interested in me because of my financial situation. I’m not rich or anything, but i certainly have more money and more nice stuff than most guys my age and have some serious potential to greatly increase my monetary worth, should the need arise. I didn’t really think about that ever before, but now I’m wondering how much interest i’m getting because I’m an interesting, attractive guy and how much because i can buy interesting, nice stuff.”
That sounds sub-optimal.
“My mother married because she hated living with her aggressive mother, and was sort of in love with my father. She was a stay-at-home mom, slowly working towards her degree, but now, 22 years later, she’s 45 and with barely 8 years of working experience, and she hates her relationship with my dad and hardly loves him anymore. It’s a horrible marriage, but she doesn’t divorce because she won’t have a maid, a brand new car, or basically money to buy everything she wants to buy.”
Sometimes, it all works out.
“I did. I was in the military, and took part in a contract marriage. Basically, a friend of mine from back home agreed to go to the justice of the peace and sign the paperwork. She lived in Virginia, and I was stationed in Texas. It equaled out to me getting roughly $900 a month, plus the option to live off-base, and a higher allowance for food. She got free medical benefits. When it was time for me to separate from the military, I went to legal aid, filed paperwork, and was divorced 3 months later, for about $61, the cost to file the paperwork where we married. We are still friends to this day. She has like 5 kids and is married.”
Then again, sometimes it doesn’t.
“A friend of mine got married in the military to double his pay. He thought to ask a girl who was an ex but was who was also his seemingly toned-down stalker. She wasn’t toned-down at all. The money outweighed the thought I guess. It went horribly bad.
It’s been about four years now and she’s creepily sending him mail from her base and constantly, negatively harassing him even though they both agreed it was for the dough.”
It looked good, from the outside at least.
“My spoiled rich friend’s mother comes to mind. She spends 6 months of the year living elsewhere in the state in a beach house (apparently she doesn’t care to be around her husband all year long).
When my friend was growing up, her mother was a stay-at-home with two kids, a nanny, and a house keeper (who also prepared most meals). She didn’t have to lift a finger if she didn’t feel like it. She had a VIP parking spot in front of Nordstroms from having dropped so much $$ there, and golfed all the time. It seemed like she loved her life.”
The username is very relevant.
“I have never married, but I have been living with 3 different men over the last 6 years.
My family fled from what is now Croatia when I was a kid. My family was pretty messed up, when I got an ‘offer’ to live with one of the more respected gang leaders in my area I left my family and hasnt spoked to them again.
Since then I have been sort of moving up the food chain and I am currently living with a middle-aged CEO who spoils me to no end.
I have never been in a loving relationship, and I’m not sure I know what that means, but I know I love my life the way it is now.”
Sounds lovely.
“Not me, but my aunt did. Her husband is a gigantic prick and she knows it, he is the most uptight man you will ever meet, you could shove coal up his [butt] and it would produce diamonds. He constantly hassles her about her weight (despite the fact that she is in excellent shape) and he does this in front of the family, I can’t even imagine what he says in private, last time my parents watched their kids he [flipped out] because we had let them play Angry Birds, this was during their summer vacation from school and we volunteered to watch their kids because my aunt was currently going through chemo. I know she hates being with him but she won’t leave him because A: his family is loaded and B: they have two young kids and she doesn’t want to break up the family.”
When it isn’t for the money, but for the benefits.
“My wife and I separated in very amicable terms, then decided we both really like the place we live in and the way we run it (she cleans, I cook, we get along, joint cat custody). Now we are best-friends/roommates, still legally married and enjoying mutual health and other benefits. We know it won’t work forever, but it’s awesome for now. Some might wonder how I can trust her with financials and not even have a prenup -and I would generally be the first to agree- but I trust her like I would a family member. Being wronged by her would be like being betrayed by my sister.”
Sometimes, you warm up (slightly) to the arrangement.
“I grew up as an expat in the middle east, moved away to go to uni and couldn’t really handle uni as a poor student. Meet someone who cares a lot for me although in the beginning I was 100% in it for the money. Moved in together, and I actually became very attached to him. He loves me and treats me with great respect, supports my ambitions and generally takes very good care of me. I wouldn’t say I am head over heels in love with him, but in my own way I love him. Where I had never had any emotional stability before he provides it.”
If love isn’t the objective, this sounds ideal.
“One of my friends got married to her best friend, who happens to be gay in the military. She gets to live in her hometown in Japan, with free insurance and free place to stay/utilities. He gets about 3-4 grand more a month because of spouse benefits and rent benefits. All she does is household chores, and makes meals for them. I say that their ‘marriage’ is a perfect union. They don’t plan on divorcing, and if she ever wants a baby, he’s more than willing to donate his sperm to the cause. Both are late 20s.”
When you’re the one being married for your money.
“Well, about a month after I got my now ex-wife full custody of her child, I found out she was cheating on me. She didn’t give a single [care]. Roughly $20K spent on what she could never afford. I suspect she married me in part for money. At least the divorce part was easy.”
Sometimes, the road is winding.
“Married for money to help out a friends sister. We fell in love in the process. After a while, [stuff] got sour, and we fell out of love. After a long while she got her citizenship. 1 year later we get an uncontested divorce. No attorney. We had a pleasant divorce and remain friends to this day. Not bad at all.”
