Twitter | @nottheworstmom

Quotes About Marriage That Belong In Every Anniversary Card

Updated August 16, 2021

Let's talk about everyone's favorite topic: marriage.

If you don't currently have a ring on your finger, I can't promise you're going to enjoy these quotes. I also can't promise you'll fully understand them. But I can promise that they'll make you feel a bit happier about your current relationship status.

Look, I'm not saying being married is bad. But let's not sit here and pretend it's always a fairy tale, okay? So without further ado, here are some quotes about married life that you'll want to save to jot down in your next anniversary card, because they probably sum up your relationship perfectly.

I also definitely don't have a stockpile of empty Amazon boxes hidden in the basement, either.

Instagram | @ksujulie

If you didn't want me to order a $50 zucchini spiralizer, a neck massager, and every season of Golden Girls on DVD, then you shouldn't have ever given me access to your credit card in the first place.

Really, this is on you.

That's it, that's marriage.

Twitter | @MommyCocktail

I never heard the end of it when I ate the last slice of leftover pizza but he doesn't seem to mind at all that I can't come see his pick-up soccer team compete in the semi-finals.

The audacity.

Just the other day I spent hours washing all the towels in the house, and then meticulously fold them into neat little rolls like you see at the spa... only for him to come work and immediately use one to clean off his dirty hands.

I've already got a divorce lawyer on speed dial.

Let's shout at each other while simultaneously agreeing.

We just had a fight over our mutual decision to switch the dog food. We were on the same page, yet it still somehow still turned into a screaming match.

Marriage is just one big endless mystery.