No one likes a good argument or disagreement in their relationship. The last thing a couple needs is a dumb misunderstanding. But sometimes, things get out of hand and you can’t say a thing about it.
One Redditor , a woman, shared an incident that happened with her boyfriend’s friends at a party. She got into an argument with the guys’ friends after they started calling her “a gold digger” because they thought she makes less money than her boyfriend. That’s when she revealed she made twice as much as her boyfriend. Yikes!
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Things got way out of hand and even though the woman wasn’t there to cause trouble, she was blamed for causing it by her boyfriend who was embarrassed. However, the Redditor has had enough of the criticism and wants to know if what she did was wrong since she stood up for herself.
What would you have done in the same situation?
She makes TWICE her boyfriend’s salary and his friends don’t know how to act . AITA?
The protagonist in this story is a woman in a relationship with a guy who works in tech. He makes $68,000 a year and she makes $130,000 a year as a mechanical engineer at a robotics startup.
When the protagonist and her boyfriend attended a party with his friends, the friends asked about her job. Rather than discussing her work, the protagonist chose to talk about her hobbies, such as hiking, archery, and dirt biking.
The conversation quickly shifted to her financial situation when one of her boyfriend’s friends asked what she did for a living. Her boyfriend’s friends then started making jokes about her being a gold digger. Her boyfriend didn’t check his friends, so the protagonist felt the need to explain why she wasn’t a gold digger by revealing that she makes twice as much as him.
Now, the boyfriend is upset with her for speaking up, while she is angry that he didn’t step in himself. So, is the protagonist at fault for telling her boyfriend’s friends the truth?
Let’s dive into the comments and reactions to see what others think.
NTA! Bf⁉️ Humiliating GF⁉️
The commenter agrees that the OP was Not The A**hole in this situation as the boyfriend was too high to support the OP when his friends were r**e to her but was quick to complain when she stood up for herself. Replies expressed their agreement and opinion that the boyfriend was exhibiting suspicious behavior and the OP should move on with her life to find someone worth her time.
Breaking patriarchal ideal
NTA, the commentor’s says the OP’s BF has his ego bruised that his partner out-earns him, which is rooted in a patriarchal ideal that the man should be the main breadwinner. Also, the BF’s friends seem misogynistic as they talked about how hard it is to find a woman who wants them for more than their money.
NTA Rich Life
The commenter says the OP is NTA (not the a**hole) and praises the woman for her luxurious lifestyle. In response, a comment reply jokingly claims that the biggest secret about robotics is their stupidity.
NTA
The comment condemns toxic masculinity. Replies point to the importance of education and the difficulty presented by a ‘techy area’ where people are inseparable from their work.
Don’t settle for less: NTA
The commenter believes that the boyfriend’s anger is unwarranted and that it reveals an underlying sense of misogyny in his circle of friends. The replies additionally warn not to settle for someone with toxic and judgemental friends, as well as drawing attention to the low salary. The commenter finishes with a wise remark: believe someone the first time they show you who they are.
Fragile jealous boys
The comment suggests that the boyfriend may be just as misogynistic as his friends and is trying to save face by being angry at the woman for exposing his income. The replies further reinforce this point, with some indicating agreement.
NTA, but $68k in Pittsburgh?
The comment acknowledges that the OP is not the a**hole, but questions how the OP’s BF makes $68k in Pittsburgh and it is considered to be ‘gold digger territory’. In the replies, the commenter confirms that the city is relatively affordable and that $68k would get you a nice lifestyle there.
NTA:✋ Standing up for yourself
The commenter declared that the original poster was not the a**hole (NTA) for revealing she makes twice as much as her boyfriend to their friends since it was her way of defending herself from their insults.
NTA: ♀️ No tolerance for misogynistic BS
The comment said that the woman was NTA (not the a**hole) and that her boyfriend’s behavior put him in the TA (the a**hole) category. The comment mentioned that her boyfriend wanted to leave when she mentioned her salary and his friends associate him with the same behavior. It suggested that the woman should rethink the relationship.
Lying to make himself look good?
NTA, the commenter believes that the boyfriend was too quick to haul his girlfriend out of the conversation when she corrected his friends, despite supposedly being too high to follow the conversation. He chose not to defend his girlfriend in order to make himself look good and to let his buddies be a**holes in the process.
Rich B*tch vs Humiliated BF
According to the comment, the author’s boyfriend was mad at her because she exposed to his friends that she makes twice as much money as him. The comment author argues that the boyfriend’s friends made assumptions based on nothing, labeling her as a ‘rich b*tch’. The comment author concludes that the author should get a new boyfriend.
NTA✔️ Drop him honestly.
The commenter expressed they were not the a**hole (NTA) in this situation and advised the original poster to drop their boyfriend since he was angry at them for exposing his salary to his friends but not at his friends for insulting them.
NTA: You’re not the for standing up for yourself!
The poster calls out the boyfriend for using DARVO, a tactic to deny, attack, and reverse the roles of the victim and offender. The poster believes the woman is not the a**hole in this situation for standing up for herself.
It’s not her fault⚡️
The comment highlighted the fragile masculinity of the woman’s boyfriend and deemed her NTA (not the a**hole), suggesting that she reconsider her relationship with him. Furthermore, the comment implied that the problem with her exposing her salary is due to her gender, and also expressed disapproval of his friends.
NTA Check ya ego!
The comment states that the author is not the a**hole, and that the boyfriend should check his ego at the relationship door.
NTA
The commenter responds to being accused of being a gold digger by saying that their friends should focus on more than just the money they make.
NTA ✔️✔️ No a****e here!
The comment suggests that the woman was right to stand up for herself in exposing that she makes twice as much as her boyfriend to his friends. The comment further suggests that the boyfriend should have done it himself if he wanted it done his way and now they know she won’t allow how they spoke.
NTA! His expectations are acceptable⁉️
![Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]](https://static.diply.com/89fa9b45-98d3-4660-ba10-b11c0ec39487.png)
The commenter sternly declares that their girl is not the a**hole (NTA) in the situation. The commenter believes the partner’s attitude is unacceptable, as they expected the OP to take the misogynistic comments of their friends without saying anything in their defense. According to the comment, the incident has made the commenter question the longevity of the relationship with their partner because of their oppressive attitude.
A badass mechanical engineer
The section comment discusses a bunch of software boys trying to rag on a badass mechanical engineer. The comment replies gave further insight into the comment, adding that the software boys might have thought the mechanical engineer was a mechanic, which doesn’t deserve disrespect either.
Friendships tested over
The comment and replies discuss a situation where the original poster’s boyfriend’s friends treat them differently after they learn she makes twice as much money as her boyfriend. This is seen as both the friends’ and the OP’s boyfriend’s fault, as the boyfriend should have stood up for their partner, and the friends should not have been judgemental. Both the comment and reply suggest that relationships should be based on equality and not money.
What happened when she revealed her income?
The comment wonders if everyone clapped after the woman revealed to her boyfriend’s friends that she makes twice as much money as him.
NTA: You don’t deserve this
This comment highlights how the boyfriend’s reaction to the woman’s financial success is misogynistic and unfair. The commenter goes on to suggest that the woman deserves better treatment and respect, and that her boyfriend’s behavior implies he might not actually love her. The overall sentiment of this comment is that this woman should not put up with her boyfriend’s treatment, as she deserves much better.
It’s NTA to call out someone
Calling out someone who said uncomfortable things in front of people they just met is NTA (not the a**hole).
NTA – it’s her money!
The comment was in agreement with the original statement, expressing that the woman was Not The A****e for disclosing to her friends that she makes twice as much money as her boyfriend.
NTA — ♀️ his friends are a**holes too!
The commenter thinks the OP is not the a**hole (NTA) because it should not be okay for the boyfriend to let his a**hole friends humiliate the woman and expect her not to stand up for herself. The commenter also believes the boyfriend’s friends are a**holes too.
Downplay & no support
![Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]](https://static.diply.com/a5cc37c8-7a36-482a-b3d9-ac14888fb0a9.png)
The commenter believes that the OP downplayed her salary when discussing her job to her friends and her bf didn’t stick up for her, implying that both of them were in the wrong.
NTA Woman Exposes Boyfriend’s Income
The comment states that the woman cannot win in this situation – either she would be cursed out by her boyfriend’s friends or her boyfriend complain of being embarrassed. It concluded that the boyfriend is not worth the bother.
NTA ♂️ He doesn’t have the right!
The commenter declared that the boyfriend is not the a**hole for being mad at his girlfriend for exposing that she makes twice as much as him to her friends, as he had no qualms about using her to make himself look good.
It’s his money, his rules
The commenter declared that the woman is Not the A**hole (NTA) for exposing to the boyfriend’s friends that she makes twice as much money as him.
Girlfriend YTA for flexing
The commenter claims the girlfriend is the a**hole for exposing that she earns twice as much as her boyfriend to his friends and then mocking her partner’s income in response to a sexist joke by his friends. The commenter suggests that the girlfriend should have called out the friends directly instead of belittling her partner in front of them.
NTA – Redflag!
The commenter believes the boyfriend is in the wrong for getting mad over the girlfriend exposing her salary to her friends, but also points out the disparity in salary means, unless the BF lives in Europe, he should start job hopping in Europe to make more money.
Both parties ✔️not AHs?
Both the boyfriend and the woman are criticized as **holes in this comment. The woman’s boyfriend is blamed for not standing up for her, while the woman is blamed for her snappy response that dragged not only him, but also some of his friends through the dirt.
NTA! ♀️
The comment asserts that the woman is not the a**hole for exposing the fact that she makes twice as much as her boyfriend to his friends. It notes that the delivery might have been slightly petty, but overall, her actions are justified.
No a****e here
The commenter declared that the author is Not The A**hole for exposing to her BF’s friends that she makes twice as much as him. The commenter believes that her boyfriend’s friends embarrassed him by being mean to his girlfriend and that he should be mad at them and not the author.
Smart woman NTA ♂️
The OP is not the a**hole (NTA) for exposing that you make twice as much money as your boyfriend to his friends. Your boyfriend is the a****e (AH) for reacting immaturely and letting his friends insult you. The comment encourages the OP to look for another boyfriend, as she is much better than him and his AH friends in every way.
A lesson in etiquette ♀️
The commenter claims that the original poster was wrong to evade answering questions about their job, as it’s a normal question that’s asked when getting to know someone new. The reply agrees and states that all the a*****s involved in this story deserve each other.
Not the a**hole
The commenter is of the opinion that the boyfriend is not the a**hole for not defending the woman, since she was defending herself. The boyfriend is embarrassed because the woman makes more than him, and everyone now knows.
Not the a****e
The commenter stated that the boyfriend is not the a**hole for not speaking up about his salary compared to his girlfriend’s. Instead, this person argued that it was the boyfriend’s friends who were the a**holes for their disrespectful actions.
❤️ Balance the scales of justice ✊
The commenter believes that the woman’s boyfriend should have defended her to his friends when she asserted that she does not rely on her boyfriend for money, and that she does not appreciate his friends’ misconceptions. The replies agree that the boyfriend had a responsibility to join in, and the woman’s statement should not be considered as bringing the boyfriend down.
Boyfriend’s jealousy exposed!
The comment is suggesting that the woman should rethink her relationship with her boyfriend because he was jealous of her financial success. The comment also has some strong language urging her to get out of the relationship.
Money talks!
She jokingly says “At least they know I’m a rich b***h”, implying that her financial success was the reason her boyfriend was mad – and her response to being in a financially advantageous position was funny and celebrated. Not the a****e here! ♀️
Nailed it ✊ ! Stand up for yourself!
The commenter believes it is wrong for the boyfriend to be mad at her for exposing her making twice as much as him to his friends. They explain that it would be ok for a woman to stand up for themselves and not expect to accept insults just because she is a woman. They conclude that the boyfriend’s reaction is due to his own misogyny.
No one is the a****e here️!
The commenter said that the woman’s boyfriend is the a****e here, and that she was not for standing up for herself, which is absolutely acceptable.
What a take!
The comment asserts that everyone involved in the situation is an a**hole.
NTA❗️ A better man is needed
The comment suggests that the woman is not the a**hole for being mad, but the BF is not an ideal partner because he should not be embarrassed by her success instead of being proud. The comment suggests the woman should find a better man.
NTA: You don’t owe anyone
The comment defends the original poster and says they don’t owe anyone an explanation. They suggest the boyfriend could have stepped in and come to the same conclusion but if he doesn’t, they’re not the one for them.
NTA: Bf’s an AH!
The comment says that the boyfriend is an a****e for getting mad at the woman for exposing the true fact that she makes twice as much as him to his friends. The comment further claims that the friends must have got the idea of the woman being a gold digger from him and praises her for exposing him.
NTA: standing up
The commenter reminds us that standing up for oneself is valid and should be encouraged.
Woman’s Nice Guy BF Is Jealous
The comment on the article discusses that the woman is NTA for exposing her boyfriend’s salary, and that the boyfriend is no prize. The comment advises the woman to look for someone better, as the boyfriend’s reaction suggests he is jealous of her success.
OP’s friends had questions , but she wasn’t ready to answer
Commenter suggests OP was intentionally being obtuse when asked what she does for a living, and thus coming off as hum-bragging. Others defend her, claiming her ‘cunning plan’ was only reacting to what was said and not anticipating it.
NTA Good luck!
The comment advises the woman to consider her relationship carefully since her boyfriend is feeling insecure and juvenile about the salary difference. They encourage her to stand up for herself and wish her luck.
Good on him!
The comment supports the woman making twice as much as her boyfriend, and believes he should take pride in it. They also suggest that the girlfriend should’ve worded her defense a bit nicer, without taking away from her standing as NTA (not the a**hole).
Stick up for yourself!
The commenter is in agreement with the woman, saying that she is Not The A**hole (NTA) and encourages her to stick up for herself.
NTA- you’re a hero!
The commenter praised the woman for exposing the truth about her salary to her friends, declaring her NTA (not the a**hole), and hailing her as a hero for her bravery in this situation.
NTA: ♀️ It takes two!
The commenter is saying NTA (not the a**hole) that the woman shouldn’t be blamed since her boyfriend lacked the spine to disclose his salary to his friends.
NTA – something’s off here
The commenter believes that the boyfriend was not really mad that the woman made twice as much money as him, but was offended due to the misogynistic attitude of his friends. They also find it strange that such a comment was not met with a response from the boyfriend as he was too high to respond.
NTA He should’ve had your back!
The commenter says that the boyfriend should have defended his partner as his friends were being a*****s and treating her like trash. They suggest that the partner get rid of him and find a man who always has her back.
It’s not wrong to succeed
The comment advises against staying with someone who is ashamed or embarrassed about your accomplishments. This is an important reminder for anyone who is going through a situation similar to the one described in the article, where the woman makes more money than her boyfriend.
NTA! ✊️✊️
The commenter says that the woman is Not The A****e for exposing to her friends that she makes twice as much as her boyfriend, as she was standing up for herself.
Someone has a ❌ YTA❌!
The commenter pointed out that they did not agree with the consensus and accused the original poster of being the a**hole for calling out her boyfriend in front of his friends, as they argued that defending herself without putting her boyfriend down would have been a better course of action. Everyone agreed that it was a no-a****e (NAH) situation.
Fragile + ♀️ NTA
The comment suggests that the boyfriend’s fragile self-worth was damaged and led to his anger, implying that he cares more about his own feelings than his partner’s. The comment poster considers this to be Not the A**hole behavior.
NTA, a **hole-free zone
The commenter firmly states that the boyfriend should not be blamed for his reaction and that the friends should be reprimanded for their behavior.
♀️ Boyfriend’s embarrassment isn’t her fault!
The commenter acknowledges that the woman is NTA and that her boyfriend should not be embarrassed by her salary. The commenter also shows disapproval towards the boyfriend for not standing up for her.
NTA, your bf was ✨blazing✨
No a**hole here: The OP was right in defending herself; The bf should be proud of her success. Also, she had every right to rebuke his friends for their behavior, especially when they were disrespecting her.
Woman’s NTA: exposing her earnings ✔️
The commenter was in support of the woman, declaring that the man’s reaction to her revealing her higher wage suggests he was ashamed of his own earnings rather than being embarrassed for his partner.
Last Updated on February 20, 2023 by Michele Lang
