A teenager is asking for judgement after refusing to play happy family with her mother who is coping with childhood trauma and the effects of a divorce. The daughter says she is tired of pretending to be a happy family when her mother decides to come over for dinner, and wants to set boundaries. The situation is complicated by the fact that the mother is a medical practitioner and works long hours. The daughter’s decision has upset her father and she is wondering if she is the a**hole. Read on to find out more about this family’s drama.
Strained relationship with overworked, insecure mother due to childhood trauma.
![Image credit: thowwwawwayyyy2604 | thowwwawwayyyy2604](https://static.diply.com/06468468-db0e-4dc7-b443-da0572e2b2b6.png)
Dealing with emotional manipulation from separated parents growing up
![Image credit: thowwwawwayyyy2604 | thowwwawwayyyy2604](https://static.diply.com/ef872d21-85b9-457e-87f2-d86f33ef9eb2.png)
Teen struggles with new reality after parents’ separation
![Image credit: thowwwawwayyyy2604 | thowwwawwayyyy2604](https://static.diply.com/a0e0b6af-546f-49d4-a1f5-253d66bc3d37.png)
Mom tells teen to be supportive during parents’ separation
![Image credit: thowwwawwayyyy2604 | thowwwawwayyyy2604](https://static.diply.com/e2897e03-1c4a-4526-bd28-c0be0002370f.png)
Teen feels excluded from mom’s dinner invites, doesn’t reciprocate.
![Image credit: thowwwawwayyyy2604 | thowwwawwayyyy2604](https://static.diply.com/46862c10-8fa7-4aa2-8356-2616e955a5d8.png)
Teen feels burdened playing happy family with separated parents
![Image credit: thowwwawwayyyy2604 | thowwwawwayyyy2604](https://static.diply.com/c2791573-60ca-4e77-ab2c-19bc432e68c8.png)
Teen rejects mother’s attempt at forced reconciliation, seeks authenticity
![Image credit: thowwwawwayyyy2604 | thowwwawwayyyy2604](https://static.diply.com/cb729a0c-888e-45a0-8e56-7fac3039da46.png)
Teen refuses to pretend happy family with mom after separation
![Image credit: thowwwawwayyyy2604 | thowwwawwayyyy2604](https://static.diply.com/c54c13a5-4102-41ff-8b35-b9282640257b.png)
Teen confronts mom on selfishness after parents’ separation.
![Image credit: thowwwawwayyyy2604 | thowwwawwayyyy2604](https://static.diply.com/0af35160-fe07-4f2b-8658-ce95a93bedf1.png)
Teen struggles with parents’ separation and dinner obligation, seeks validation.
![Image credit: thowwwawwayyyy2604 | thowwwawwayyyy2604](https://static.diply.com/863301a5-4053-4d4f-a4b2-6809b1882669.png)
When pretending to be a happy family gets exhausting
![Image credit: thowwwawwayyyy2604 | thowwwawwayyyy2604](https://static.diply.com/01b14c48-d837-45b0-8aa4-777dba30d030.png)
Teen acknowledges both parents’ flaws in difficult separation situation
![Image credit: thowwwawwayyyy2604 | thowwwawwayyyy2604](https://static.diply.com/ee83dfef-9856-447e-a8c7-def24025902b.png)
Teen opens up about post-parents’ separation struggles in replies
![Image credit: thowwwawwayyyy2604 | thowwwawwayyyy2604](https://static.diply.com/d3c5f317-ca80-487c-aef7-30d2ec97b4f1.png)
Breaking the cycle: Teen sets boundaries with seeing mom’s therapist
![Image credit: thowwwawwayyyy2604 | thowwwawwayyyy2604](https://static.diply.com/bf2f7797-d051-47da-b41c-4da023a9693e.png)
Making the best of a bad situation with barebones apartment
![Image credit: thowwwawwayyyy2604 | thowwwawwayyyy2604](https://static.diply.com/e5516c7e-adf1-42a9-ab2d-377b78d75722.png)
Teen’s unique take on living arrangements amidst parents’ divorce
![Image credit: thowwwawwayyyy2604 | thowwwawwayyyy2604](https://static.diply.com/f9c6d033-eaac-4dce-a23a-4e11b8665534.png)
Teen navigates parents’ separation and mother’s insecurities
Growing up, the poster’s father constantly reminded them and their sister to check on their mother, who suffered from d********n and anxiety. Now, with their parents separated, the mother expects the family to play happy every time she decides to drop by for dinner, and the poster is tired of pretending. They refuse to entertain her whims and are now questioning their decision. The situation brings to light the effects of a separation on a family and how it can impact mental health. In this post, we dive into the complexities of familial relationships and the challenges of supporting loved ones through mental health issues. The post also highlights the importance of boundaries and the need for individuals to prioritize their own mental wellbeing. Let’s discuss this post and share our thoughts on how to navigate tough family dynamics.
NTA. Don’t be your mom’s therapist. Change your locks
![Image credit: GangGang_Gang | GangGang_Gang](https://static.diply.com/eb1aa5b8-cd55-4ab1-afd5-bcbbc75499b0.png)
Supportive comment advises teenager on dealing with immature parents
![Image credit: Dramatic-Dish8009 | Dramatic-Dish8009](https://static.diply.com/9fdec69a-50f6-40f5-8850-27d34e90cb09.png)
Setting boundaries with a parent post-divorce.
![Image credit: NotMyCircus170 | NotMyCircus170](https://static.diply.com/2568532b-f640-4df1-ba44-40a470896b60.png)
Putting your emotional needs first is not selfish, NTA
![Image credit: exul_noctis | exul_noctis](https://static.diply.com/bf17d6db-ccdf-4990-97f4-bafd09792e73.png)
Sibling struggles in parent’s separation, living situation not ideal
![Image credit: lady_wildcat | lady_wildcat](https://static.diply.com/63b1d04b-43da-429f-b7a4-9d8b0df2ea99.png)
Setting boundaries with emotionally immature parent, recommended book and article
![Image credit: allexgrace | allexgrace](https://static.diply.com/b9a37bd1-1b3b-4ad5-9034-3c908783bae2.png)
Teen struggles to prioritize her and her sister’s needs. NTA ❤️
![Image credit: throwawayj38sld | throwawayj38sld](https://static.diply.com/fb978b00-464d-40d3-9776-06a0b94cf132.png)
NTA child of emotionally abusive parents gets support and advice.
![Image credit: Whitestaunton | Whitestaunton](https://static.diply.com/9f6cdd35-7e8f-4919-b3f2-71ce106ef4bb.png)
Teen forced into parental role, shows maturity and self-awareness.
![Image credit: Proud_World_6241 | Proud_World_6241](https://static.diply.com/71de1d88-f16e-479f-bab3-5b8850d8f4ed.png)
Support for a teen dealing with a narcissistic parent
![Image credit: nanya_Business_b00 | nanya_Business_b00](https://static.diply.com/f8160f8e-4849-4d68-a194-65841e449b4f.png)
Teen rightfully prioritizes own needs over selfish mother’s after separation
![Image credit: wkendwench | wkendwench](https://static.diply.com/046dbf1c-437d-4919-9f91-9ce564f39357.png)
Drawing boundaries after parents’ separation. Therapy recommended. Good luck!
![Image credit: del901 | del901](https://static.diply.com/0fbf5c8c-450c-4e49-88e8-1b6a4fb95ad7.png)
Parent demanding child to parent is unacceptable. NTA.
![Image credit: ArundelvalEstar | ArundelvalEstar](https://static.diply.com/3e75cd59-3621-4260-887a-e0b91522d252.png)
Choose what’s best for you, but be polite and firm
![Image credit: felinestrong | felinestrong](https://static.diply.com/dfa11637-7651-4852-886d-f3a1cd9044a2.png)
Cutting off toxic family members is tough but relieving.
![Image credit: Orangesunset98 | Orangesunset98](https://static.diply.com/b96b7522-1b1d-4546-87b3-3053f5cba1d7.png)
Protecting yourself from a toxic parent? NTA
![Image credit: Lurkingentropy | Lurkingentropy](https://static.diply.com/dea0d86c-800f-4165-ac30-d0e110ded946.png)
NTA. Dealing with a narcissistic parent is tough
![Image credit: jojozabadu | jojozabadu](https://static.diply.com/46d45d18-b37b-4f5e-b9d0-3dc246afe368.png)
Encourage counseling for mom and protect your own mental health
![Image credit: Babsgarcia | Babsgarcia](https://static.diply.com/6765e2b3-8822-47e1-b0e0-ae22a2fbf98d.png)
Neglectful parents force 14yo to fend for herself – NTA ❤️
![Image credit: microscopig | microscopig](https://static.diply.com/25dd8fec-45bc-47ac-8ad7-15940d10a6ad.png)
Support is a two-way street. NTA for standing up.
![Image credit: TheSciFiGuy80 | TheSciFiGuy80](https://static.diply.com/e7c70260-9c2b-4362-8490-8bb38cc3ffbf.png)
Prioritizing mental health as a parent
![Image credit: rightobobo | rightobobo](https://static.diply.com/aeba4ca9-a003-4fa7-8432-2af41223f82c.png)
Commenter calls out mom’s victim mentality and enabling behavior.
![Image credit: AsuraRathalos | AsuraRathalos](https://static.diply.com/3d7c8b2d-47fe-48a4-815f-2898a6a0f68b.png)
Don’t let mom have a monopoly on selfish behavior ♀️
![Image credit: DiTrastevere | DiTrastevere](https://static.diply.com/e4786bbb-df18-4d74-84e3-19ee3788c817.png)
Being a child of separated parents is tough. Mental health matters.
![Image credit: Momster404 | Momster404](https://static.diply.com/e2e13d02-6c7f-4e9f-a2f7-9332fcc72ee4.png)
Put your mental health first. You don’t owe anyone anything
![Image credit: GreenDutchman | GreenDutchman](https://static.diply.com/ec1c2f06-227c-4f3e-be4f-5aae73bc1aa0.png)
Divorce is hard enough without being forced to play happy families
![Image credit: B_S_C | B_S_C](https://static.diply.com/0abeed6f-1d22-4748-b8cb-ea88172c0ca3.png)
Mother’s selfish behavior after separation leaves child in shock
![Image credit: mustytomato | mustytomato](https://static.diply.com/1fa11099-99c3-4869-adce-0ebfa5d29fce.png)
Commenter empathizes with OP’s struggle with their mother’s actions.
![Image credit: Icy_Conversation_612 | Icy_Conversation_612](https://static.diply.com/bcaace13-fbc3-47f5-b849-a50764707a09.png)
Prioritizing your mental health is not selfish.
![Image credit: AirenAshura | AirenAshura](https://static.diply.com/d7a62d4b-d9cf-49d8-8344-f07656668414.png)
Children are not emotional support animals ♀️
![Image credit: I_Suggest_Therapy | I_Suggest_Therapy](https://static.diply.com/03c21a60-cb4e-4ef5-bc02-969d9de6e698.png)
Teen stands up to neglectful mother after parents’ separation
![Image credit: Vitalicize | Vitalicize](https://static.diply.com/0ae65546-a35c-439a-be71-612f2e839265.png)
Teen stands up to selfish mother, earns NTA judgement
![Image credit: Ahsoka88 | Ahsoka88](https://static.diply.com/b1427041-cb87-4f5c-9470-7ec2fb280ff4.png)
Setting boundaries with a bi-polar parent. NTA
![Image credit: awkwrdaccountant | awkwrdaccountant](https://static.diply.com/a9ece234-d59f-4c2c-a04b-6d919770aaa7.png)
Childhood trauma takes a toll on mental health. #NTA
![Image credit: Knittingfairy09113 | Knittingfairy09113](https://static.diply.com/6ed078bf-974a-481a-a6e2-7be7552e94dd.png)
Self-centered mom gets what she deserves. You go, OP!
![Image credit: Stompin_At_The_Savoy | Stompin_At_The_Savoy](https://static.diply.com/71e56869-0da7-45ac-8e98-c14731cf5dc3.png)
Parental d********n and burdening children = unhealthy. NTA.
![Image credit: trarecar1 | trarecar1](https://static.diply.com/a49edeab-38a3-450d-818e-57c12082f0e9.png)
Commenter empathizes with OP’s situation and calls out parents’ behavior.
![Image credit: that_fork_is_mine | that_fork_is_mine](https://static.diply.com/60420ebc-3443-4926-af49-8976333d67fd.png)
Advice for setting boundaries with a needy parent
![Image credit: Comfortable-Side-757 | Comfortable-Side-757](https://static.diply.com/abede3df-3a94-4623-a088-ee960245d942.png)
Protecting emotional well-being: Mom’s selfishness hurts everyone involved
![Image credit: zealous-grasschoice | zealous-grasschoice](https://static.diply.com/47dabceb-7921-4851-8d38-a574601fe586.png)
Suggest family therapy to deal with mother’s unhealthy coping mechanisms. ♀️
![Image credit: Sea_Requirement_9839 | Sea_Requirement_9839](https://static.diply.com/97d2a0f5-64b1-42bc-8967-52f35a334bc6.png)
Seek professional help for family’s separation and well-being
![Image credit: NeverRarelySometimes | NeverRarelySometimes](https://static.diply.com/412a8d97-a9a1-4cde-9c13-947cbd667d99.png)
Parenting is a full-time job, not a part-time hobby.
![Image credit: Master_Cave | Master_Cave](https://static.diply.com/b5d87a0a-8a9c-495d-bdfd-f4adb8aa3e36.png)
Putting your trauma on kids? Not cool. ♀️ #NTA
![Image credit: BackhandSlapper | BackhandSlapper](https://static.diply.com/3995ebf5-76d4-450e-8ef4-33d9c6cadc57.png)
Being a parent means putting your children first ↑
![Image credit: tcrhs | tcrhs](https://static.diply.com/43113731-56fa-422c-b280-d75987d03505.png)
OP’s mom expecting too much post separation
![Image credit: thesaturnalien | thesaturnalien](https://static.diply.com/897b8f40-7fab-4073-846d-9b22f588b377.png)
Curious about the reason for separation, NTA supports teen’s decision.
![Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]](https://static.diply.com/9185c199-29cf-4de8-8b0a-9ba479dac10c.png)
Parents’ responsibility to make kids happy, not other way around.
![Image credit: ADHDLifer | ADHDLifer](https://static.diply.com/fd3f40d8-c243-4ee4-bec2-7c3ef0d4121d.png)
Commenter takes a clear stance on parents’ separation with NTA
![Image credit: That_Contribution720 | That_Contribution720](https://static.diply.com/b4b64942-71e0-4871-8125-8af10bee6233.png)
Kids deserve peace too. NTA for setting boundaries with mom.
![Image credit: DazzlingAssistant342 | DazzlingAssistant342](https://static.diply.com/b22cfb5b-11ea-473e-b19f-4b1e2f1bc80f.png)
Taking a stand for what you want and need.
![Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]](https://static.diply.com/b168cde2-da7e-4010-bf45-f39a4d1bf5a7.png)
Commenter supports teen’s decision to not coddle mom.
![Image credit: whatshedo | whatshedo](https://static.diply.com/39c2bbe4-e238-482d-8276-e7d1e4b05648.png)
Validating the daughter’s feelings and recommending family counseling
![Image credit: Fragrant_Lobster_518 | Fragrant_Lobster_518](https://static.diply.com/7c51dd80-feef-4b84-adc6-edeb3fdac1a0.png)
Don’t be her emotional crutch. NTA
![Image credit: daemoss227 | daemoss227](https://static.diply.com/e5bbfca4-3933-4688-be9f-34eeaaaf3934.png)
Be selfish sometimes, NTA. Your mom needs to support you
![Image credit: flyingcactus2047 | flyingcactus2047](https://static.diply.com/86f03231-cece-408d-9d20-4b8afa67ad00.png)
Commenter suggests tough love for estranged mother.
![Image credit: QueenCloneBone | QueenCloneBone](https://static.diply.com/c35588e1-4534-44d8-ab80-0e266cc53e9d.png)
Empathize with the child’s emotions and condemn the parents’ actions
![Image credit: Gullible-Attorney360 | Gullible-Attorney360](https://static.diply.com/f97a9bb8-7a41-4115-8322-3da001d09e5a.png)
Teen struggles with mom’s selfishness and parents’ separation, NTA.
![Image credit: miamimely | miamimely](https://static.diply.com/960124bc-ee3c-4b70-a4fb-1a60b1fbd223.png)
NTA, mom’s selfishness is damaging her children. She needs therapy.
![Image credit: immadriftersbody | immadriftersbody](https://static.diply.com/1ff12c39-e7cf-481d-b2ba-fed17bdd47e0.png)
Choose yourself first! You’re not the a**hole. NTA
![Image credit: the_anonymous_gal | the_anonymous_gal](https://static.diply.com/6fc2d57e-0dd2-4ab0-9868-57f40dfee7fa.png)
Therapy needed all around. NTA for refusing fake happiness ♀️
![Image credit: emaji33 | emaji33](https://static.diply.com/9e99d1ac-5d74-4975-954a-d34fa0f5fc4e.png)
Reach out to mom’s therapist and express your concern ❤️
![Image credit: Queen_Sized_Beauty | Queen_Sized_Beauty](https://static.diply.com/ecdb668d-779c-4469-afb7-3c96f33abd39.png)
Setting boundaries with parents after divorce: a difficult but necessary step
![Image credit: practiceallthethings | practiceallthethings](https://static.diply.com/9b85524e-92c7-46a7-890c-4fd4490cd968.png)
Teen struggles with mom’s selfish behaviour after parents’ separation
![Image credit: slendermanismydad | slendermanismydad](https://static.diply.com/69b14b10-9a03-4962-b4c1-b603d3e3733b.png)
Teen stands up for herself and sets boundaries with mom
![Image credit: Ihateyou1975 | Ihateyou1975](https://static.diply.com/a9b8a5a1-e7f8-4233-9322-8735b33fb731.png)
Teen stands up to unfair family expectations after parents’ separation
![Image credit: VibrantIndigo | VibrantIndigo](https://static.diply.com/a3ac2717-1d6e-4c3e-9dd1-92af2bc88ec9.png)
Supportive comment suggests therapy and challenges parent’s decisions
![Image credit: savvyblackbird | savvyblackbird](https://static.diply.com/ecf4d578-0259-4bae-a02f-0e8db6115941.png)
Questionable parenting and support for independent youths.
![Image credit: Neko4tsume | Neko4tsume](https://static.diply.com/6ccd3d83-7847-4a2c-9f38-b6ca7967824c.png)
Teen won’t fake happy family. NTA’s reply celebrates self-care.
![Image credit: Obtuse-Angel | Obtuse-Angel](https://static.diply.com/efbed52c-9a5f-4565-926d-d151289d26f5.png)
NTA for refusing to play happy family with absent parents.
![Image credit: MrsT381 | MrsT381](https://static.diply.com/23fdb345-4235-4ed4-8242-470dc29b7a03.png)
User sympathizes with teen and questions parents’ motives for separation.
![Image credit: NoeticSkeptic | NoeticSkeptic](https://static.diply.com/3c2032bf-9aab-49a3-8299-828b2f41a958.png)
Standing up to mom’s issues. NTA
![Image credit: Valerina13 | Valerina13](https://static.diply.com/bf1ea7d9-5cc7-4e87-82f5-206a714396d0.png)
Validating the commenter’s feelings and suggesting therapy for the mom
![Image credit: Triona01 | Triona01](https://static.diply.com/4ed8cd8e-3d57-4293-8e6b-46cc02082cbc.png)
Commenter relates to OP’s struggle with mother’s denial, suggests therapy.
![Image credit: uwu_tears | uwu_tears](https://static.diply.com/3ae95778-bc17-4401-a7c3-8f1885bc677f.png)
Last Updated on April 20, 2023 by Diply Social Team