Everyone loves surprises ! Well, a lot of people can’t stand surprises, but that’s not why we’re here today damn it!
So, from people who sold ham in the most unsettling shapes to individuals who hid faces in the strangest of places, here are 29 surprises that we didn’t expect.
“Salarmy of the Dead.”

I know that it is just salami, but there is something about this that is really creeping me out and would probably put me off eating it.
“My wife helped me sunscreen my back at beach day today… TWICE!”

Their skin now looks kind of like a very painful form of camouflage. What did their wife apply the sunscreen with, an etch-a-sketch?
“Condiment Cow…”

Someone needs to have some very stern words with the person who came up with this idea.
“Found in Louisiana.”

I mean, at least the crocodile thing looks happy about its current setup, so that is definitely something.
“When you really *really* need to go!”

Don’t put your privates where you wouldn’t put your head, and that’s advice to live your life by.
“BDSM gingerbread men.”

They’re pretty adorable actually, and great for all occasions! Well, maybe not all occasions.
“6-year-old drew their family snorkelling.”

I can imagine that the teacher must have been somewhat alarmed when they saw what this kid had drawn. It looks more like a family execution.
“SpongeBob Cake.”

Oh no Spongebob, what have they done to you? I dread to think what Squidward looks like.
“This downspout with vertical garden attached in Seattle.”

I feel as though I can just hear Mario’s breathing intensifying at the sight of this.
Hmmm…?

If those bars are meant to stop people breaking into this house through those windows then this kind of defeats the purpose. It looks pretty cool, though so that’s something!
“Birthday Steak Cake with Mashed Potato ‘Icing.'”

Well, I have found the cake that I will be having every birthday for the rest of my life. Simply delicious.
“Saw a Danny Devito devoted van on the highway. Vanny Devito.”

So you could say that they’re Danny DeVoted to him?
Christ, I felt that one, sorry about that.
It’s The Thought That Counts!

I can imagine that they sold out of these pretty damn quick, even with that missing apostrophe.
“Instead of just printing out 2 more of those notices, they printed out an enormous full color photo of a door with the notices on them.”

Someone with a similar experience added, “Reminds me of the time my old boss needed to post something in the store that was sent in an email but she couldn’t figure out how to print it. So she took a photo of the email on her phone, emailed the photo to herself, printed the photo of the email, and posted that on the bulletin board.”
“This is…something.”

I thought that someone had finally had the courage to make a fried-chicken flavor ice-cream for a moment there! Damn it, step up Ben & Jerry, you cowards!
“Friendship Tattoos!”

Any Power Puff girls reference is a good reference in my book, and this is by no means the exception to that rule.
“Did a double take when I saw this rock in my friend’s yard. She said it came from the tenants before her, but I think it is the tenant.”

This looks like something out of Alice In Wonderland, I keep expecting it to open its eyes and start telling riddles.
“The hedgehog bag!”

I wonder what the inspiration behind this was, if there was one? Perhaps someone came out with that just…well, because!
“From a local barbershop.”

I feel like this is almost quite good, but there is just something about the perspective that makes it wildly creepy.
“Ugly shoes are ugly.”

Well, at least no one would be unsure as to where your brand loyalties lie while you’re wearing these!
“Anyone have any idea what was in the back of this pick-up truck?”

Nope, I cannot say that I have any idea what this metallic alien thing is meant to be.
“Come to John and Jill’s wedding, there’s a very special guest they want you to meet.”

Ah yes, the perfect backdrop for a lovely wedding photo! Who wouldn’t want this?!
“My new sandal has a built-in bottle opener.”

I like the idea in theory, but I’d never put something that I was drinking from near the bottom of my shoe!
“Art Restoration at CSTM (1952/2013).”

In hindsight, they should probably just have left it how it was, shouldn’t they?
“Great car if you need to vent after a long day.”

What a lovely bit of modification they’ve done here! Who says you should leave stuff like this to professionals?!
“Nosey…”

I wonder if this has a “sneeze” function as well? Just to make cooking even more exciting!
“Why get an would evil you tattoo?”

This is harder to read than a Dan Brown novel. Not because it’s complicated, just because it’s poorly put together.
“Donald Duck and his nephews fused into a toilet.”

Why would anyone ever want these hellish things staring over them while they’re using the toilet?!
“Yikes…”

I bet that the acceleration and top speed of this monstrosity are absolutely abominable.