Marriages and relationships are all about compromises, but when does it become too big to accommodate? There are no perfect human beings, and finding a romantic partner for a long-term relationship requires adjusting one’s life to accommodate them and vice versa.
Some of these compromises are deal-breakers, especially when one party is unwilling to sacrifice. However, it’s always nice when two people decide to compromise (not values but preferences) for their partners to make a relationship work.
This Reddit user in the Am I The A-Hole Subreddit thread wanted to know if he was a jerk for refusing to compromise further in his marriage.
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Poster Wants To Know If He’s A Jerk
Here’s the deal. The original poster (OP) never wanted a cat, but his wife insisted, so they compromised and agreed that she’d get one, but it’d be her responsibility.
Three years later, the wife got pregnant, leading to a dilemma – pregnant women aren’t supposed to handle cat poop to avoid the risk of toxoplasmosis.
However, based on their deal, the OP has no option but to handle the litterbox care or send the cat out. He opted for the latter. That broke his wife’s heart, so she continued cleaning the cat litter, albeit with protective gear.
Her sister visited, and all hell broke loose as she confronted the OP for being an insensitive husband. He insisted they had a deal, and he wasn’t willing to compromise further.
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The Wife Risks Serious Health Complications If She Continues Cleaning The Litter
Marriage Is About Compromises
Prioritizing A Deal Over His Wife’s Health
He’s The Jerk
Unlike other Reddit topics, which often have two opposing consensuses, this one had one – “You’re the A-Hole.” The users were unilateral in their decision, saying marriage and love were about compromising. If the OP wasn’t willing to make a “small” sacrifice, then who’s saying he’d make a bigger one once the baby arrives?
Also, he didn’t care about his wife’s health but to win one up over her. This was the perfect opportunity to get the cat out of their lives, and he wanted it. He didn’t consider his wife agreeing to use protective gear to keep her pet.
Let’s play devil’s advocate for a bit and highlight the part where the OP warned his wife that she’ll always have responsibility for the cat. It’s unfair to make him do something he vehemently stated he didn’t want to do years after, and he anticipated this result.
However, that’s love – doing things we don’t necessarily like for the ones we care about. He could get a self-cleaning litter to make the work easier, and if he loves his wife, it’ll come easy to him. There’s a deeper issue brewing other than cleaning out cat litter.
