I’m a firm believer that you should never ask a question unless you’re 100% prepared for an honest answer. But sometimes, even the most prepared person can be caught totally off-guard.
For instance, when a friend of Reddit user Smoke_Water and his wife took a DNA test , they were only looking to learn more about their family tree. What they discovered is that they’re actually cousins !
It all started when a friend of Reddit user Smoke_Water came to his friend and told him that he was seriously considering a divorce with his wife.
“So my friend came to me the other day asking for advise. He said his wife is strongly considering divorce.” they wrote.
They went on to say that the friend and his wife have a common grandparent.
“I said “what? Why after 23 years?” He said they took a dna test as part of their family history research and discovered they are 6ths cousins. They share a single common grandparent.”
It was enough to make his wife begin strongly considering a divorce.
“This caused his wife to freaked out over the thought that she’s had 3 kids with her cousin. When they found out, she ran to the bathroom and started throwing up.”
No matter how much the husband tried to explain to his wife that it didn’t matter, she wouldn’t hear it.
“Kept screaming how her whole life has been a lie. How she can’t understand how she could have been so stupid.”
“He said he’s tried many times to talk her out of this.”
“Saying it doesn’t matter because they are so far removed, Generally they are not related. He is so regretful that they even took the test and really wished things were back to normal. but the damage is done. This pandora box is open and its all she can think about.”
Co-workers, friends, and family have all tried to assure the wife that the shared genetic heritage is negligible.
“Her parents have tried talking with her, her siblings, friends, coworkers, and all say the same thing, its not a big deal.”
“But she is focus on how disgusting it is that she has not only slept with her cousin, but she actually married and had kids with him.”
“How she is now just a common idiot hillbilly.”
Left with no other option, the husband begged Smoke_Water to try and reason with his wife.
“I said to my friend, wow, this really sucks but what do you want me to do? What could I possibly say that would help? He asked me what I think he should do and if possible, if I could talk with her.”
“Seems I have always provided solutions to help solve many of their marital problems.”
“He also said she always listens to me. I told him to give me a few days to think about it.”
“This request has been keeping me up for several nights.”
“I dont know what or how to even approch this. So im looking to you. What can I say?”
Thankfully, tons of people came into the replies to help him.
Reddit user xaviira gave an extremely thoughtful response:
“If it would ease her mind, your friend could try making an appointment with a genetic counsellor,” they began.
“This is a professional who knows all about genetics and family relationships.”
“And they would be able to explain to your friend’s wife that they are functionally not related,”
“And that this degree of relation between spouses of the same ethnic background is extremely common.”
“Your friend’s wife also might just need some time to process the news;”
“The “oh yuck, inbreeding” knee-jerk reaction is strong, and she might not be able to rationally process what this actually means (again, almost nothing) until she has had time to calm down.
User r3gam said that this is a pretty understandable reaction and that many others would experience the same thing.
“I think it’s much simpler than that and probably just a woman freaking out at recently discovering there may be some consanguinity to her marriage (a natural reaction that I think most people would).”
What do you think about all of this? Do you think the wife was overreacting?
And what do you think the friend should say to her?
Let us know your thoughts down below in the comment section. We would love to hear from you!
