Being in a loving and committed relationship is a two-way street. Many times, we look to our partners to share the brunt of the things we do—like cook, clean, and do other basic life chores.
However, when our partners slack on carrying the weight of relationships and chores, we can be frustrated and annoyed . And, many of us are unsure how to deal with it.
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One Reddit user recently shared the way in which she dealt with her own boyfriend.
The OP said that her boyfriend has begun to pretend he’s “bad” at basic life skills, like cleaning or doing the dishes.
So, she was frustrated because she knows that he hasn’t just forgotten how to do these things just because they moved in together.
Apparently, she had asked him multiple times to do the “chores.”
The boyfriend refused and refused several times until when he did, he “did them wrong.”
Apparently, she wasn’t surprised at all—knowing that he was pretending to do them wrong on purpose so that she would not ask him to do them again.
When she said she didn’t believe him, her boyfriend threw a fit.
Her boyfriend said he was “trying his best” and that she was “Wrong for saying he was trying to manipulate her.”
Instead, he told her that it was “impossible” to keep up with her incredibly high standards and that she should believe he was trying his best.
As a petty way to deal with this, the Reddit user had a new plan.
One day when she asked him to do laundry, her boyfriend had bleach stained her favorite little black dress.
So, when they had plans to go to a family event of his, she decided to wear the bleach-stained dress.
Her boyfriend did not appreciate it.
Her boyfriend thought that it looked stupid, but, she wore it to the event anyway.
Another time, he had loaded the dishwasher wrong and the bowls filled up with dirty water. So, she dumped the water out and served his dinner in the bowls. When he made a comment, she said that they had “just come out of the dishwasher.”
The last straw was when she left food out instead of refrigerating it.
The OP had cooked for a dinner party of his. After cooking, the dish had to cool for 30 min. and then be refrigerated. But, she left the food out instead of putting it in the fridge.
Her boyfriend was mad, but, as he usually does, she said it wasn’t a big deal because there wasn’t that much meat in it.
In the end, her boyfriend began to turn his habits around.
After seeing that the Reddit user was fine with doing chores badly and living with the same mistakes that he had made before, the boyfriend decided to “reteach” himself how to do the chores.
He finally did things the right way, despite “doing his best” before.
The Reddit user is happy he’s finally stepped up, but asked if she was wrong for the way she went about it.
Many said she wasn’t the bad guy or wrong because she got what she wanted in the end.
If he was okay with doing things that way, why shouldn’t he be okay with her doing things that way, too?
Others said she should have dumped him.
“A, weaponized incompetence is a [expletive] move, and who wants to be with a [expletive]? And B, even if the pettiness cuts down on it… who wants to be playing these games the rest of their life? Sheesh,” said another person.
Many said her boyfriend is a child.
“I can’t fathom being so comfortable acting like a child. This is literally how toddlers act when they don’t want to do something like pick up toys – throw themselves on the floor crying that they DON’T KNOW HOW! Surprise surprise: it doesn’t work for them, and it doesn’t work for grown men. Shocker,” said someone else.
One person said think long-term with this guy, it isn’t pretty.
“Do you want to be locked in a constant passive aggressive struggle just to keep your house clean? How is he with money, taking care of you when you’re sick, helping if you hit a rough spot?
I have no idea if you’d want kids with this man, but a guy who will stick you with the dishes will stick you with all the childcare, and you’re not going to be willing to let the kid go hungry or unchanged to teach him a lesson,” said another user.
It’s all very difficult to navigate if you ask me!
