Many couples have a lot of problems that appear in relationships over time. When you first get to know someone, red flags don’t really pop up often. However, over time, you start to see the things that bother you and annoy you in your partner . One thing that many complain about in their relationships is how often their partner “runs late” and how long they take to do things.
One husband recently opened up to Reddit seeking advice about his chronically late wife.
The husband shared that the couple has been married for five years and over the years, he has gotten pretty annoyed with “how long she takes” to do just about anything—especially when it comes to getting ready.
He says that he’s “generally a patient person,” but this has been a lot.
“I’m generally a patient person, but I get extremely anxious when I’m late for something with a scheduled starting time. Alone, I have never been late for anything. With her in tow, I’m late for everything,” he shared .
The most frustrating part, he said, is that she doesn’t even realize it.
“The most frustrating thing about this is that she seemingly has no ability to comprehend that she’s making people wait. If I even suggest that she move a little faster, she gets really defensive. A few years ago one of her best friends dumped her because she was tired of her chronic lateness,” he said.
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The two decided to go see a movie at the mall as a date night.
He said that getting her out of the house was a mission in itself, but they went early and she was able to “shop around” before the movie. But, when the time came to go to the movie theater, she was busy talking to a store clerk about shoes she wanted to buy and told him to “hang on.” Then, she began looking for other things to try on.
He decided to just go to the movie on his own at that point.
“At this point, I just walked away, which she naturally didn’t notice, turned off my phone, and enjoyed the movie myself. As a side note, I missed the first few minutes of it waiting for her, standing in line, and making my way to the theater. On my way out of the theater I saw her on a bench in the lobby beside herself because I ditched her,” he said .
Many people said that he’s definitely “not wrong” for what he did.
“This is what you have to do moving forward. Tell her that you’re leaving in 15 minutes and follow through. One warning, then go. Stop discussing and explaining. Start showing.
Though, in the future, send a text: “I’m at the movie and I’m sitting center right. Turning phone off now,” shared overseas-mango .
Others shared that at first they felt bad, but then they understood.
“Initially I was sympathetic to your wife, as someone who is also chronically late. However, when you describe that her response to you informing her the previews are starting was to go try on more jeans I lost all sympathy. That’s not chronic lateness, that’s chronic disrespect for other people’s time,” replied redditor191389 .
Many said it was “disrespectful.”
“Chronically late people that have no issue ruining other people’s plans because they live in their own self-centered world need to realize that (shockingly) the world doesn’t in fact revolve around them.
I honestly don’t know how you’ve put up with it for so long. That type of disrespect would drive me bananas,” said CrystalQueen3000 .
Another said that he has told her time and time again.
“This is only due to her history of lateness. If you ditched her on the first time then it would be different. She needs to learn that there are other’s involved and their time is just as important as hers.
I am a stickler for time as well and hate being late, if my wife was always late like your I would have done the exact same thing as you have but wouldn’t even missed the previews,” said CapsFan1066 .
And, one person said maybe he should rethink their marriage.
“She’s incredibly self-centered, entitled, and rude.
But, why did you marry her? You shouldn’t have to “tough love” your partner in life. She’s your wife, not your child.
You are fundamentally incompatible. Time to rethink if you would to spend the rest of your life like this,” stated dividedsky58 .
