Well, another Avengers movie is officially out, so you know what that means.
About two weeks of avoiding YouTube, Twitter, Insta, and Reddit until you see it, as well as about 5 months of the movie playing in theatres.
It’s “Avengers: Endgame” time, baby!
As of recently, the mega-blockbuster has finally hit theatres and we can finally see what happens to all our favorite heroes! Will there be a great big huggy-wuggy happy ending or will it be as depressing as we’re sure this Sunday is going to be on Game Of Thrones ?
Well, luckily for you, I already saw it.
Not bragging (maybe a little), but I only bring it up so that I can help guide you through this movie. More specifically– when you can pee during it.
Don’t worry, this will relatively spoiler free.
The only thing I’ll tell you for sure happens is that the Thanus theory was 100% true.
(He’s kidding, right? Well, maybe I am, maybe I’m not).
Okay, so.
As you may or may not know, this movie is three hours long.
So it’s going to be a trek, but it’s going to be a really fun trek, I promise. A trek through space and what not. You might even call it a star trek.
My point is that you shouldn’t drink all your Vanilla Coke Zero during the trailers.
And have to fight off a pee the whole movie. However, I’ve cataloged some moments that I could’ve gone to the bathroom, and they are as follows:
You see Scott Lang come out of the Quantum Zone, go to the bathroom.
We know that Ant-Man survived the snap, that’s not a spoiler, right? Right?
It was in the trailer, and I know at least 10 million of you watched it!
Anyways, the next ten minutes are going to be him figuring out what happened.
Which, of course, you already know. Thanos snapped half of all living creatures, everyone is sad about it, etc, etc.
In fact, a lot of the opening is just them being sad about stuff.
Alright, this is hard to do without spoiling anything.
There’s a point in time at the beginning where Hawkeye is reacting to the snap, the rest of them are finding out what to do about Thanos, etc, etc.
There’s a period in the movie where they show life three weeks after the snap.
And then we jump fives years after the snap.
Watch up until the “Five Years Later” prompt, then go pee.
Some of it might be interesting to you.
But there are some scenes you can definitely miss that are pretty predictable. You know, the typical Avengers scene.
“You should totally join our cause”
“But I can’t now, I have to protect so and so” or “No, I can’t join you, not after the way I’ve failed,” etc.
They do this at least twice, and if you don’t mind not knowing where the survivors went after the snap, then this is the time to hit the washroom.
Three scenes, in particular, come to mind:
When Hulk is eating lunch (you may miss some odd choices of jokes here), when they go to retrieve Thor (go after the first couple jokes, you don’t miss much after that).
And finally, when Black Widow goes to see Hawkeye.
But wait until after the fight scene. It’s pretty cool.
Afterward, it just more “we have a chance to save them”, “No, uh, don’t give me false hope”, yadda, yadda, yadda.
Word to the wise: After everyone joins up, there should be no more peeing!
Seriously, the movie just goes up from here and becomes totally unpredictable. When you first see them all in their white suits, just sit down, relax and enjoy the movie.
Do not, I repeat, do not leave the theatre after this point.
When do you think you should pee?
People who have seen the movie, when would be the best time to go to the washroom?
Alternatively, you know, you could always just use Paul Rudd’s method.
