What would you do if your partner asked you to artificially change your appearance for a wedding picture ?
That’s exactly the predicament one Redditor found herself in after her fiancé asked her to use Photoshop on a facial scar in their wedding photos.
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Needless to say, Reddit had an opinion.
“Am I the [jerk] for refusing to have my facial scar Photoshopped for the wedding?”
This is how the post begins. It’s worth noting that this was posted in a subreddit specifically designed for people to share stories to find out if they were in the right or in the wrong.
OP has had a facial scar since her early 20s.
OP, who’s now 32, and her 34-year-old fiancé Aaron are getting married soon. At least, that’s still the plan as far as we know.
However, things are on the rocks for the couple because, while discussing wedding photos, Aaron suggested that OP get her scar photoshopped out.
“I laughed, thinking he was joking, but he said it was for real.”
OP says she was taken aback, while Aaron replied that this is exactly what Photoshop is for. Since these wedding photos will be a family keepsake, he’d “rather they be flawless.”
“I looked at him and asked if he sees my face as a flaw,” she wrote. “He immediately apologized and said absolutely not.”
Turns out it was his mom’s suggestion.
After saying that his mom had a point, the couple began fighting. Aaron said OP was overreacting, while OP thinks that if she isn’t bothered by her appearance, no one else should be.
“Aaron is visibly upset with my response.”
He told OP he loves her no matter what, but OP still doesn’t want to get their photos photoshopped.
“I don’t know if this is just my past insecurities popping up, and I’m not sure if I’m overreacting and getting offended for no reason,” she concludes.
Was Aaron fair?
Some commenters pointed out that Aaron could have made the suggestion, then dropped it when OP didn’t like it.
“But he tried to argue with you and gang up on you when you said you didn’t want that,” wrote a commenter. “It’s your face, honey, you own it! If other people are bothered by it, perhaps THEY should go to therapy.”
Yeah, no one thought Aaron was fair.
One commenter busted out a Maya Angelou quote that seems to fit this scenario pretty well:
“When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”
What’s it really about?
Another user asked four simple questions that, if asked, might put Aaron into a tough spot:
-Why does he want the scar gone?
-Why doesn’t he respect the ‘no’ answer?
-Why is anybody involved beyond the couple?
-What are these pictures to be used for it they are not to reflect OP as she is?
Scars aren’t a big deal.
I have a massive scar on my arm and no one ever notices it. Other commenters made similar observations.
“I have massive scars in various places on my body and many of them are openly visible in my wedding photos. One of my in-laws made the same awful suggestion about photoshop and my husband shut her down by pointing out we wanted the photos to be of us not some perfect, unrealistic image of us,” wrote one user.
It’s a clean sweep.
Sometimes these disputes have an element of ambiguity, but not this one. Reddit has made its decision: OP is not overreacting, and Aaron needs to get his act together.
Check out the thread , and then let us know your thoughts in the comments section.
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