If you’ve ever lived away from your extended family then you know how a simple overnight trip can turn into a marathon of visits and events.
It makes sense. Everyone wants to see you to catch up and eventually your two-day trip is a tight schedule of breakfasts, lunches, and dinners with family on top of whatever event brought you into town in the first place.
A wedding is one of those big events that brings a scattered family together.
It’s actually pretty perfect for it, because not only is it celebrating the joining with another big, extended family, but it’s a multi-stage event allowing for tons of catching up.
Before the ceremony, while waiting for the photos to be taken, over dinner, and even the party afterwards; all of them are great.
That’s how Reddit user HursHH hoped his wedding would go.
He explained that his closest relatives are his grandparents, who live in the next town over. Everyone else is spread out across the country and would be flying in for the weekend.
His wedding sounds like my kind of low-key.
It was to be held at his house, with an afternoon ceremony, followed by a reception, and then a fun after-party. He’d set up the party specifically so he could hang out casually with his extended family after the traditional hullabaloo.
Invitations and the schedule were sent out far in advance and everyone RSVP’d.
So he’s busy the day of the wedding, because, you know, it’s his wedding.
So he doesn’t get to chitchat much before the ceremony, but that’s okay. That’s what the party is for.
The ceremony and reception go great and it’s time to party!
Only half the guests stayed for the party and not a single member of his family was among them.
It turns out that his sister had decided to host her baby’s gender reveal party at their grandparents’ house, scheduled for the same time as the after-party.
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“And NOBODY told me. Nobody bothered to ask if I wanted to go. Nobody showed up to my party. Nobody even apologized for not coming.”
I can’t believe that they were all in on keeping it a secret from him. Like, did they think he wouldn’t notice?
So he asked Reddit: Am I The Asshole “for being mad when my sister did her Gender reveal party on my wedding day?”
It’s not really surprising that Reddit concluded that he is not the asshole in this situation.
They did give some good advice about how to handle the situation too, such as clearly explaining why it upset him that they did this and not letting them rile him up with excuses.
Others made the argument that the sister probably just wanted to take advantage of everyone being in the same place.
Which, sure, is probably the reason and makes sense, but we’re talking about how she went about it.
I’m sure that if she’d broached the subject with HursHH, he would have worked with her to include the reveal into the after-party. Or they could have planned for a gender reveal breakfast the next morning.
As things are, HursHH missed out on catching up with his family at his own wedding, which was the entire point.
In response to another commenter, he explained:
“My beautiful bride wanted to elope but said we could do a wedding if I wanted to. I wanted to do the wedding so that for once in my 30 years of life I could have my whole family in one place at one time.”
His sister stole that from him and the entire family revealed an incredible amount of thoughtlessness.
It’s possible that she told them all that he knew about the party and was okay with it, but that there wasn’t a hint or comment before they all left the wedding isn’t a good sign.
Whatever the case, HursHH needs to have a serious talk with his sister and definitely deserves an apology.
HursHH is 100% Not The Asshole in this situation.
