Get ready for a heart-wrenching tale of brotherly love, promises, and the struggle to help a sibling in crisis. This story is a rollercoaster of emotions that will have you questioning what you would do in this impossible situation. Buckle up, because we’re diving deep into the complex world of addiction, mental health, and family dynamics.
A Heartbreaking Promise to Mom

The Struggles of a Learning Disability

♂️ A Decent Job, but Darkness Looms

Parents Enabling Destructive Behavior

A Hateful, Angry Shell of a Man

Loneliness and a Broken Heart

Relying on Parents for Emotional Support

️ Damaging the Family Home

Attempts at Professional Help

Diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder

☎️ Crisis Calls and Long Drives

Suffering Through His Caustic Presence

️ A Proper Homemade Meal Gone Wrong

A Drunken Rampage in the Night

On the Verge of Calling the Police

Setting Rough Boundaries for Safety

Constant Calls and Accusations of Abandonment

♂️ No In-Person Contact Until He Gets Help

Breaking a Promise and Worrying About the Future

AITA for Not Helping Him More?

Torn Between a Promise and Personal Safety
This story is a gut-wrenching look at the challenges of helping a loved one battling addiction and mental health issues. The author is caught between a promise made to his mother and the harsh realities of his brother’s destructive behavior. Despite countless attempts to help, including long drives, crisis calls, and even a homemade meal, the brother’s actions have left the author and his wife feeling unsafe in their own home. Now, the author is setting tough boundaries, limiting contact until his brother gets the help he needs. But the guilt of potentially breaking a promise to his late mother weighs heavily on his heart. Let’s see what the internet has to say about this heartbreaking dilemma…
Encouraging comment on supporting an addict brother after loss

Set realistic boundaries and seek support from AA/NA. NTA

Don’t blame yourself for not being able to help.

Enabling won’t help him. Let him fail and take responsibility.

Enabling vs helping: a tough love approach

Setting boundaries isn’t abandonment. You’re supporting him in healthier ways. ✌️

Protect yourself and your family before he hurts them.

Setting boundaries is important. Low contact is the way

Setting boundaries is important for your mental health and his recovery

Setting boundaries is not abandonment. Enabling won’t help him

Supportive comment encourages letting go of addict brother.

Setting clear conditions can help, don’t repeat parents’ mistakes

Take charge of your life! Don’t enable others

Tough love is hard but necessary for addicts to recover

Cut ties with unsafe brother despite deathbed promise

Take action to protect yourself and family from addict brother. NTA.

Loving but not liking an addict brother

Establishing boundaries with a BPD sibling

Set boundaries and be honest. NTA

Don’t let a deathbed promise hold you hostage. #NTA

Unfair promise to help an addict brother, NTA for setting boundaries

Setting boundaries for loved ones can be tough. NTA

Protecting yourself and your wife is a priority . Walking away may be the right choice.

Set firm boundaries and stick to them. Rooting for you ❤️

Suggest social services to help him, onus on him not you

Enabling won’t help. Research how to aid him instead.

Recovering addict explains enabling and the harsh truth. NTA

The heartbreaking struggle of cutting off a troubled sibling ❤

Cutting ties with addict brother to prioritize wife is reasonable. #NTA

Balancing family and marriage is tough

Don’t let guilt control you, he’s not your responsibility

No obligation to care for a grown-ass adult.

Choose to live differently in her memory. Firmly set boundaries.

Setting boundaries with an addict brother. Tough but necessary

Set boundaries and prioritize your own healing and relationships. NTA

Setting boundaries with addict brother, support wife. NTA

Setting boundaries and tough love is sometimes necessary for support.

OP’s brother needs intensive inpatient therapy, NTA for setting boundaries

Caring for your brother does not mean sacrificing your own life

Sibling struggle: NTA for prioritizing own well-being over brother’s addiction.

Breaking promises made under duress can be necessary. NTA

Deathbed promises can unnecessarily burden loved ones. Stand up for yourself

Prioritize yourself! You’re not abandoning him, you’re stopping enabling.

Tough love advised Time for brother to grow up

Setting boundaries with addict brother, NTA. Consider calling a rehab.

Addict brother needs rehab & accountability. NTA for setting boundaries.

Supportive comment acknowledges the difficulty of dealing with an addict sibling.

Helping addicts is tough, NTA. Self-help is the key.

You can only do so much. Encourage rehab for him.

Cutting ties and making him accountable is tough love

Encouraging words for supporting a struggling loved one

Prioritizing mental health is important

Helpful advice for dealing with destructive/addictive behavior

Cutting off toxic family members is sometimes necessary. NTA

Al-Anon is helpful, but remember, you can’t save an addict

Stop enabling bad behavior, it’s the only way to help

Enabling an addict is not helping. You’re NTA for stopping.

Al-Anon meetings can give you the support you need

Protect your home environment for your wife & marriage. NTA

Putting yourself first isn’t selfish. NTA

Suggesting concrete steps for helping a disabled addict brother.
![Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]](https://static.diply.com/6774fe08-896e-4112-a0b1-09e0395200c3.png)
Setting boundaries is important for mental health and safety.

Take care of yourself first It’s not your responsibility alone.
![Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]](https://static.diply.com/d987cc17-9fc5-4d37-99c7-9bace232af18.png)
Encouraging advice for setting boundaries with addict family members

Don’t set yourself on fire to keep him warm.

Protect yourself, interacting only hurts. NTA

Tough love is sometimes the best love.
![Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]](https://static.diply.com/3f37a292-c596-4781-bded-edc5ba19f60c.png)
Enabling an addict brother: tough love or abandonment?

No obligation to take care of an abusive/dangerous brother. NTA

Enabling addiction won’t make it better, NTA

Set boundaries and prioritize your immediate family’s safety

Detachment is key. Letting go doesn’t mean you don’t care

Boundaries and expectations are important in helping without enabling, NTA

Don’t enable him to continue living without consequences. Take care!

Enabling an addict doesn’t help, it just sends the wrong message

Choosing to walk away from your addict brother is tough.

Attending AL-ANON can help realize what’s best for addict brother

You made a promise, but you don’t have to risk everything

Don’t sacrifice yourself for someone who won’t change.

Experience-based advice on helping an addict brother. NTA.

Tough love is hard, but necessary for self-preservation. NTA

Enabling an addict can be deadly, sometimes tough love helps

Don’t enable him. Get help before it’s too late. ⚠️

Be accountable for your brother, not an enabler. NTA

Don’t enable his addiction, call the authorities and stay safe.

Don’t let your parents make you an enabler



















































