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Deathbed Vow TESTED: ‘I Promised Mom I’d Help My Addict Brother… But I Can’t Take It Anymore’

by Diply Social Team
2 years ago
in Family
Reading Time: 17 mins read
A A
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Get ready for a heart-wrenching tale of brotherly love, promises, and the struggle to help a sibling in crisis. This story is a rollercoaster of emotions that will have you questioning what you would do in this impossible situation. Buckle up, because we’re diving deep into the complex world of addiction, mental health, and family dynamics.

A Heartbreaking Promise to Mom

Image credit: Flimsy-Resort7956 | Flimsy-Resort7956
Flimsy-Resort7956 | Flimsy-Resort7956

The Struggles of a Learning Disability

Image credit: Flimsy-Resort7956 | Flimsy-Resort7956
Flimsy-Resort7956 | Flimsy-Resort7956

‍♂️ A Decent Job, but Darkness Looms

Image credit: Flimsy-Resort7956 | Flimsy-Resort7956
Flimsy-Resort7956 | Flimsy-Resort7956

Parents Enabling Destructive Behavior

Image credit: Flimsy-Resort7956 | Flimsy-Resort7956
Flimsy-Resort7956 | Flimsy-Resort7956

A Hateful, Angry Shell of a Man

Image credit: Flimsy-Resort7956 | Flimsy-Resort7956
Flimsy-Resort7956 | Flimsy-Resort7956

Loneliness and a Broken Heart

Image credit: Flimsy-Resort7956 | Flimsy-Resort7956
Flimsy-Resort7956 | Flimsy-Resort7956

Relying on Parents for Emotional Support

Image credit: Flimsy-Resort7956 | Flimsy-Resort7956
Flimsy-Resort7956 | Flimsy-Resort7956

️ Damaging the Family Home

Image credit: Flimsy-Resort7956 | Flimsy-Resort7956
Flimsy-Resort7956 | Flimsy-Resort7956

Attempts at Professional Help

Image credit: Flimsy-Resort7956 | Flimsy-Resort7956
Flimsy-Resort7956 | Flimsy-Resort7956

Diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder

Image credit: Flimsy-Resort7956 | Flimsy-Resort7956
Flimsy-Resort7956 | Flimsy-Resort7956

☎️ Crisis Calls and Long Drives

Image credit: Flimsy-Resort7956 | Flimsy-Resort7956
Flimsy-Resort7956 | Flimsy-Resort7956

Suffering Through His Caustic Presence

Image credit: Flimsy-Resort7956 | Flimsy-Resort7956
Flimsy-Resort7956 | Flimsy-Resort7956

️ A Proper Homemade Meal Gone Wrong

Image credit: Flimsy-Resort7956 | Flimsy-Resort7956
Flimsy-Resort7956 | Flimsy-Resort7956

A Drunken Rampage in the Night

Image credit: Flimsy-Resort7956 | Flimsy-Resort7956
Flimsy-Resort7956 | Flimsy-Resort7956

On the Verge of Calling the Police

Image credit: Flimsy-Resort7956 | Flimsy-Resort7956
Flimsy-Resort7956 | Flimsy-Resort7956

Setting Rough Boundaries for Safety

Image credit: Flimsy-Resort7956 | Flimsy-Resort7956
Flimsy-Resort7956 | Flimsy-Resort7956

Constant Calls and Accusations of Abandonment

Image credit: Flimsy-Resort7956 | Flimsy-Resort7956
Flimsy-Resort7956 | Flimsy-Resort7956

‍♂️ No In-Person Contact Until He Gets Help

Image credit: Flimsy-Resort7956 | Flimsy-Resort7956
Flimsy-Resort7956 | Flimsy-Resort7956

Breaking a Promise and Worrying About the Future

Image credit: Flimsy-Resort7956 | Flimsy-Resort7956
Flimsy-Resort7956 | Flimsy-Resort7956

AITA for Not Helping Him More?

Image credit: Flimsy-Resort7956 | Flimsy-Resort7956
Flimsy-Resort7956 | Flimsy-Resort7956

Torn Between a Promise and Personal Safety

This story is a gut-wrenching look at the challenges of helping a loved one battling addiction and mental health issues. The author is caught between a promise made to his mother and the harsh realities of his brother’s destructive behavior. Despite countless attempts to help, including long drives, crisis calls, and even a homemade meal, the brother’s actions have left the author and his wife feeling unsafe in their own home. Now, the author is setting tough boundaries, limiting contact until his brother gets the help he needs. But the guilt of potentially breaking a promise to his late mother weighs heavily on his heart. Let’s see what the internet has to say about this heartbreaking dilemma…

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Encouraging comment on supporting an addict brother after loss

Image credit: KenGriffinsMomSucks | KenGriffinsMomSucks
KenGriffinsMomSucks | KenGriffinsMomSucks

Set realistic boundaries and seek support from AA/NA. NTA

Image credit: Cryptographer_Alone | Cryptographer_Alone
Cryptographer_Alone | Cryptographer_Alone

Don’t blame yourself for not being able to help.

Image credit: kendrickshalamar | kendrickshalamar
kendrickshalamar | kendrickshalamar

Enabling won’t help him. Let him fail and take responsibility.

Image credit: PurpleToad1976 | PurpleToad1976
PurpleToad1976 | PurpleToad1976

Enabling vs helping: a tough love approach

Image credit: Danube_Kitty | Danube_Kitty
Danube_Kitty | Danube_Kitty

Setting boundaries isn’t abandonment. You’re supporting him in healthier ways. ✌️

Image credit: Mean-Impress2103 | Mean-Impress2103
Mean-Impress2103 | Mean-Impress2103

Protect yourself and your family before he hurts them.

Image credit: Auntienursey | Auntienursey
Auntienursey | Auntienursey

Setting boundaries is important. Low contact is the way

Image credit: ivyjade42 | ivyjade42
ivyjade42 | ivyjade42

Setting boundaries is important for your mental health and his recovery

Image credit: Ok-Equipment-8771 | Ok-Equipment-8771
Ok-Equipment-8771 | Ok-Equipment-8771

Setting boundaries is not abandonment. Enabling won’t help him

Image credit: journeyintopressure | journeyintopressure
journeyintopressure | journeyintopressure

Supportive comment encourages letting go of addict brother.

Image credit: lapsangsouchogn | lapsangsouchogn
lapsangsouchogn | lapsangsouchogn

Setting clear conditions can help, don’t repeat parents’ mistakes

Image credit: Flat_Contribution707 | Flat_Contribution707
Flat_Contribution707 | Flat_Contribution707

Take charge of your life! Don’t enable others

Image credit: 2_old_for_this_spit | 2_old_for_this_spit
2_old_for_this_spit | 2_old_for_this_spit

Tough love is hard but necessary for addicts to recover

Image credit: Perfect-Day-3431 | Perfect-Day-3431
Perfect-Day-3431 | Perfect-Day-3431

Cut ties with unsafe brother despite deathbed promise

Image credit: jess1804 | jess1804
jess1804 | jess1804

Take action to protect yourself and family from addict brother. NTA.

Image credit: NotSorry2019 | NotSorry2019
NotSorry2019 | NotSorry2019

Loving but not liking an addict brother

Image credit: Sloth_grl | Sloth_grl
Sloth_grl | Sloth_grl

Establishing boundaries with a BPD sibling

Image credit: Ylfrettub-79 | Ylfrettub-79
Ylfrettub-79 | Ylfrettub-79

Set boundaries and be honest. NTA

Image credit: Kampfzwerg0 | Kampfzwerg0
Kampfzwerg0 | Kampfzwerg0

Don’t let a deathbed promise hold you hostage. #NTA

Image credit: Think-Ocelot-4025 | Think-Ocelot-4025
Think-Ocelot-4025 | Think-Ocelot-4025

Unfair promise to help an addict brother, NTA for setting boundaries

Image credit: JudgeJed100 | JudgeJed100
JudgeJed100 | JudgeJed100

Setting boundaries for loved ones can be tough. NTA

Image credit: TimeSummer5 | TimeSummer5
TimeSummer5 | TimeSummer5

Protecting yourself and your wife is a priority . Walking away may be the right choice.

Image credit: G8kE3pR | G8kE3pR
G8kE3pR | G8kE3pR

Set firm boundaries and stick to them. Rooting for you ❤️

Image credit: CakeZealousideal1820 | CakeZealousideal1820
CakeZealousideal1820 | CakeZealousideal1820

Suggest social services to help him, onus on him not you

Image credit: rokohemda | rokohemda
rokohemda | rokohemda

Enabling won’t help. Research how to aid him instead.

Image credit: bigrottentuna | bigrottentuna
bigrottentuna | bigrottentuna

Recovering addict explains enabling and the harsh truth. NTA

Image credit: girlwiththemonkey | girlwiththemonkey
girlwiththemonkey | girlwiththemonkey

The heartbreaking struggle of cutting off a troubled sibling ❤

Image credit: Apprehensive_Eye1835 | Apprehensive_Eye1835
Apprehensive_Eye1835 | Apprehensive_Eye1835

Cutting ties with addict brother to prioritize wife is reasonable. #NTA

Image credit: Madalice58 | Madalice58
Madalice58 | Madalice58

Balancing family and marriage is tough

Image credit: jazzy3113 | jazzy3113
jazzy3113 | jazzy3113

Don’t let guilt control you, he’s not your responsibility

Image credit: ReadyHelp9049 | ReadyHelp9049
ReadyHelp9049 | ReadyHelp9049

No obligation to care for a grown-ass adult.

Image credit: fbombmom_ | fbombmom_
fbombmom_ | fbombmom_

Choose to live differently in her memory. Firmly set boundaries.

Image credit: e72c | e72c
e72c | e72c

Setting boundaries with an addict brother. Tough but necessary

Image credit: Competitive_Drop_326 | Competitive_Drop_326
Competitive_Drop_326 | Competitive_Drop_326

Set boundaries and prioritize your own healing and relationships. NTA

Image credit: amthemama | amthemama
amthemama | amthemama

Setting boundaries with addict brother, support wife. NTA

Image credit: Scav-STALKER | Scav-STALKER
Scav-STALKER | Scav-STALKER

Setting boundaries and tough love is sometimes necessary for support.

Image credit: SapphireSigma | SapphireSigma
SapphireSigma | SapphireSigma

OP’s brother needs intensive inpatient therapy, NTA for setting boundaries

Image credit: CrazyChickenLady223 | CrazyChickenLady223
CrazyChickenLady223 | CrazyChickenLady223

Caring for your brother does not mean sacrificing your own life

Image credit: OPsBioMom | OPsBioMom
OPsBioMom | OPsBioMom

Sibling struggle: NTA for prioritizing own well-being over brother’s addiction.

Image credit: OtherAccount5252 | OtherAccount5252
OtherAccount5252 | OtherAccount5252

Breaking promises made under duress can be necessary. NTA

Image credit: Alienne8r | Alienne8r
Alienne8r | Alienne8r

Deathbed promises can unnecessarily burden loved ones. Stand up for yourself

Image credit: MeMeMeOnly | MeMeMeOnly
MeMeMeOnly | MeMeMeOnly

Prioritize yourself! You’re not abandoning him, you’re stopping enabling.

Image credit: tats76 | tats76
tats76 | tats76

Tough love advised Time for brother to grow up

Image credit: babigrl50 | babigrl50
babigrl50 | babigrl50

Setting boundaries with addict brother, NTA. Consider calling a rehab.

Image credit: MWBurbman | MWBurbman
MWBurbman | MWBurbman

Addict brother needs rehab & accountability. NTA for setting boundaries.

Image credit: Responsible_Post_388 | Responsible_Post_388
Responsible_Post_388 | Responsible_Post_388

Supportive comment acknowledges the difficulty of dealing with an addict sibling.

Image credit: CanyonCoyote | CanyonCoyote
CanyonCoyote | CanyonCoyote

Helping addicts is tough, NTA. Self-help is the key.

Image credit: No_Cryptographer4806 | No_Cryptographer4806
No_Cryptographer4806 | No_Cryptographer4806

You can only do so much. Encourage rehab for him.

Image credit: arsapeek | arsapeek
arsapeek | arsapeek

Cutting ties and making him accountable is tough love

Image credit: CarrotBackground4231 | CarrotBackground4231
CarrotBackground4231 | CarrotBackground4231

Encouraging words for supporting a struggling loved one

Image credit: Kerrypurple | Kerrypurple
Kerrypurple | Kerrypurple

Prioritizing mental health is important

Image credit: LustyFireFly | LustyFireFly
LustyFireFly | LustyFireFly

Helpful advice for dealing with destructive/addictive behavior

Image credit: sandim123 | sandim123
sandim123 | sandim123

Cutting off toxic family members is sometimes necessary. NTA

Image credit: BlackoutMeatCurtains | BlackoutMeatCurtains
BlackoutMeatCurtains | BlackoutMeatCurtains

Al-Anon is helpful, but remember, you can’t save an addict

Image credit: CaterpillarNo6795 | CaterpillarNo6795
CaterpillarNo6795 | CaterpillarNo6795

Stop enabling bad behavior, it’s the only way to help

Image credit: Pagan_Knight | Pagan_Knight
Pagan_Knight | Pagan_Knight

Enabling an addict is not helping. You’re NTA for stopping.

Image credit: Mountain-Camp2626 | Mountain-Camp2626
Mountain-Camp2626 | Mountain-Camp2626

Al-Anon meetings can give you the support you need

Image credit: Kitchen_Lecture_2203 | Kitchen_Lecture_2203
Kitchen_Lecture_2203 | Kitchen_Lecture_2203

Protect your home environment for your wife & marriage. NTA

Image credit: R_U_N4me | R_U_N4me
R_U_N4me | R_U_N4me

Putting yourself first isn’t selfish. NTA

Image credit: DevilGuy | DevilGuy
DevilGuy | DevilGuy

Suggesting concrete steps for helping a disabled addict brother.

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Setting boundaries is important for mental health and safety.

Image credit: TabularConferta | TabularConferta
TabularConferta | TabularConferta

Take care of yourself first It’s not your responsibility alone.

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Encouraging advice for setting boundaries with addict family members

Image credit: Savings-Library-1142 | Savings-Library-1142
Savings-Library-1142 | Savings-Library-1142

Don’t set yourself on fire to keep him warm.

Image credit: Dachshundmom5 | Dachshundmom5
Dachshundmom5 | Dachshundmom5

Protect yourself, interacting only hurts. NTA

Image credit: IanDOsmond | IanDOsmond
IanDOsmond | IanDOsmond

Tough love is sometimes the best love.

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Enabling an addict brother: tough love or abandonment?

Image credit: Successful_Moment_91 | Successful_Moment_91
Successful_Moment_91 | Successful_Moment_91

No obligation to take care of an abusive/dangerous brother. NTA

Image credit: theVelvetJackalope | theVelvetJackalope
theVelvetJackalope | theVelvetJackalope

Enabling addiction won’t make it better, NTA

Image credit: MeanSeaworthiness995 | MeanSeaworthiness995
MeanSeaworthiness995 | MeanSeaworthiness995

Set boundaries and prioritize your immediate family’s safety

Image credit: loseunclecuntly | loseunclecuntly
loseunclecuntly | loseunclecuntly

Detachment is key. Letting go doesn’t mean you don’t care

Image credit: doctoralstudent1 | doctoralstudent1
doctoralstudent1 | doctoralstudent1

Boundaries and expectations are important in helping without enabling, NTA

Image credit: Few_Night7735 | Few_Night7735
Few_Night7735 | Few_Night7735

Don’t enable him to continue living without consequences. Take care!

Image credit: SheShouldGo | SheShouldGo
SheShouldGo | SheShouldGo

Enabling an addict doesn’t help, it just sends the wrong message

Image credit: GrooveBat | GrooveBat
GrooveBat | GrooveBat

Choosing to walk away from your addict brother is tough.

Image credit: control-alt-7 | control-alt-7
control-alt-7 | control-alt-7

Attending AL-ANON can help realize what’s best for addict brother

Image credit: LoveMeorLeaveMe89 | LoveMeorLeaveMe89
LoveMeorLeaveMe89 | LoveMeorLeaveMe89

You made a promise, but you don’t have to risk everything

Image credit: Lopsided_Intention57 | Lopsided_Intention57
Lopsided_Intention57 | Lopsided_Intention57

Don’t sacrifice yourself for someone who won’t change.

Image credit: Iamstaceylynn | Iamstaceylynn
Iamstaceylynn | Iamstaceylynn

Experience-based advice on helping an addict brother. NTA.

Image credit: ribbons_undone | ribbons_undone
ribbons_undone | ribbons_undone

Tough love is hard, but necessary for self-preservation. NTA

Image credit: LRD4000 | LRD4000
LRD4000 | LRD4000

Enabling an addict can be deadly, sometimes tough love helps

Image credit: aClassyRabbit | aClassyRabbit
aClassyRabbit | aClassyRabbit

Don’t enable him. Get help before it’s too late. ⚠️

Image credit: PNWraizedmomma | PNWraizedmomma
PNWraizedmomma | PNWraizedmomma

Be accountable for your brother, not an enabler. NTA

Image credit: titania670 | titania670
titania670 | titania670

Don’t enable his addiction, call the authorities and stay safe.

Image credit: cplmomma2004 | cplmomma2004
cplmomma2004 | cplmomma2004

Don’t let your parents make you an enabler

Image credit: Nonnie2323 | Nonnie2323
Nonnie2323 | Nonnie2323
Tags: Family

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