Curly Hair Controversy: Woman Told to Look ‘Less Ethnic’

Imagine being told to change your appearance to avoid racism. That’s what happened to a mixed-race woman who married into a white family. Despite a close relationship with her in-laws, things took a turn during a family dinner. As they discussed the hurtful comments and incidents she’d experienced recently, her sister-in-law suggested that straightening her hair might make her look ‘less ethnic’ and avoid trouble. Let’s dive into this curly hair controversy.

Curly Hair and Family Bonding

In-Laws and Family Dinner

Discussing Hurtful Comments

Sister-in-Law’s Surprising Suggestion

A Shocked Response

Awkward Silence Ensues

Feeling Guilty?

Understanding Intentions

Small Town Background

Update and Clarifications

Reflecting on the Situation

SIL’s Character

Taking the High Road

Opportunity for Growth

Being a Cliff Note

Straightening Out the Situation

The woman in question was shocked by her sister-in-law’s suggestion to straighten her hair to look ‘less ethnic’ and avoid racism. The dinner table went quiet, and while her in-laws defended her, she felt guilty for potentially humiliating her sister-in-law. Despite the awkwardness, she believes her SIL is not racist, just ignorant. She’s decided to use this situation as an opportunity for growth and bridge-building, rather than holding on to resentment.

Calling out racism and ignorance. NTA stands up for equality.

NTA shocked by ‘less ethnic’ comment, but willing to educate.

NTA. ‘Less ethnic’ is insulting. No reason to not know better.

POC suggests educating ignorant person who made insensitive comment

A white man learns about the politics of black women’s hair

Putting ignorance into perspective with grace

NTA. SIL and BIL equating their hurt feelings to daily racism

POC shares frustration with ignorance and victim blaming in racist attacks. NTA.

A non-POC shares her experience and advice on educating SIL

Defending against racism and white privilege with NTA comment.

Engaging dialogue on cultural sensitivity and growth

Confronting hidden biases: a reminder of the insidiousness of racism

A Filipino student shares his experience with traditional beauty standards.

Sincere NAH comment suggests discussion to bridge cultural differences

Embrace your ethnicity and teach others to do the same

Defending against racist comments, demanding apology for harmful remarks.

NTA commenter suggests a diplomatic approach to ignorant comment.

NTA shuts down woman’s attempt to blame him for her embarrassment

NTA. Racism should not be excused in 2020.

Compassionate response to insensitive comment, recommends education for understanding.

NTA commenter calls out ignorance and immaturity with sarcasm

NTA for calling out racist-ignorance and standing up for yourself

NTA called out racism without being offensive

Heartbreaking experience of hair discrimination, NTA and educate her.

NTA calls out microaggressions perpetuating racism, important message

Fighting ignorance and discrimination, NTA stands up for equality.

NTA. Commenter calls out ignorance and insensitivity towards black women’s hair.

NTA calls out ignorant comment, emphasizes impact over intention

Embrace your natural hair! Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise

Heartfelt support for victim of racism

Stand up for yourself and speak out against discrimination

Standing up against racist comments.

Validating support for woman’s experience with racist hair comments.

Offering gentle education to combat outdated values

NTA commenter calls out racism and ignorance, condemns victim blaming.

Support for response to racist comment, no backlash from community.

NTA comment shuts down naive advice and suggests moving on

Standing up to ignorance and victim blaming

NTA for standing up against ignorance and advocating for equality

Teaching kids about racism: a lesson for adults too

Standing up against victim blaming and racist comments.

Complimentary comment on curly hair and supportive reply to OP.

Empathetic response to ignorant comment advocating for wider worldview

White commenter acknowledges privilege and encourages growth.

Woman shares personal experience and offers advice on racism and victim blaming.

NTA educates friend on ignorant comment about her hair

Don’t apologize for being yourself! NTA comment section.

NTA. Blaming someone for racism is not okay

NTA comment calls out sister-in-law’s ignorance and lack of research

NTA. Fighting against harmful advice and preserving identity.

Intentions only count for so much, time to stop excuses

Standing up against racism and ignorance. NTA, never change ❤️

Supportive response to helping family member with racism backlash

Defending against micro-aggression and white-splaining.

Fighting white fragility with grace and resources

Defending a victim of discrimination against racial microaggressions.

Insensitive comment blames victim’s ethnicity for assault. NTA.

Standing up for yourself and educating others is important.

BIL’s wife told woman to look ‘less ethnic’ – NTA claps back

NTA stands up against ignorance and calls for accountability.

NTA comment shuts down SIL’s white fragility with facts

User expresses outrage at suggestion to look ‘less ethnic’ with curly hair. #NTA

Standing up against racist comments with grace and dignity. ✊

Insensitive comment leads to a learning experience for all involved

Supportive comment defends woman’s right to wear hair naturally.