Boyfriend Pushes Girlfriend to Learn Basic Skills: Hero or Jerk?

We all want a partner who can hold their own, but how far is too far when pushing them to be self-sufficient? One boyfriend found himself in hot water after his girlfriend’s lack of basic life skills led to some serious drama. The situation has us asking: is he a hero for trying to help, or a jerk for not being more understanding? ‍♀️ Let’s dive into the story.

A Painful Past Experience

The Self-Sufficient Girlfriend Dream

A Surprising Lack of Life Skills

Car Trouble and Basic Maintenance

No Interest, Big Consequences

Holiday Disaster: Passport Drama ✈️

Dad’s Responsibility? ‍♂️

The Big Blow-Up

The Blame Game

Frustration and Fear of Repeating the Past

The Ultimate Question: Hero or Jerk?

So, is our concerned boyfriend a hero for pushing his girlfriend to be more self-sufficient, or a jerk for not being more understanding of her upbringing? It’s a tough call, and the internet is divided. Let’s take a look at some of the top responses from people who’ve weighed in on this emotional rollercoaster of a situation.

Women are often expected to be helpless, but it’s not cute.

NTA. Partner should act like an adult. Basic skills matter.

NTA for expecting basic adult skills. GF’s irresponsibility caused trouble.

Commenter suggests incompatibility with infant-like partner. ‍♀️

Brazilian commenter introduces ‘folgada’ to describe lazy entitlement, receives appreciation.

Commenter calls out OP for lack of respect towards girlfriend. ESH.

Boyfriend expects basic responsibility, girlfriend fails and pays consequences.

Commenter thinks girlfriend won’t learn basic skills, replies agree

Commenter suggests finding a new GF for not being helpful

Girlfriend’s lack of accountability enabled by those around her. ESH

NTA. Boyfriend pushes girlfriend to learn basic skills.

NTA, but why continue dating for 2 years?

NAH commenter suggests compromise and understanding for girlfriend’s lack of life skills.

Girlfriend’s mistakes not necessarily signs of laziness or dependence.

Encouraging NTA with suspicious emojis

Pushing girlfriend to change basic life skills? Respect issue

Commenter calls out both parties for their shortcomings. ‍♂️

Different strokes for different folks . Compatibility is key.

Boyfriend pushes girlfriend to learn basic skills. NTA.

Commenter calls out OP for blaming girlfriend for car trouble.

Partner unwilling to learn basic skills: dealbreaker or not?

Girlfriend forgets passport, boyfriend not the a**hole for being upset

ESH, but girlfriend’s blame-shifting and learned helplessness is concerning.

User thinks boyfriend is the a**hole for pushing basic skills.

User asks for more information before making a judgement

Partner lacks basic skills, but leaving her stranded is messed up

Questioning the relationship status with a simple query.

Commenter calls out OP’s blame game with sarcasm

Couple’s airport drama: both at fault, counseling needed

Partner or father? The line can be blurry.

NTA comment calls out irresponsible people with a

Long-distance relationship struggles: Passport renewal and expectations.

Encouraging accountability: NTA reminds girlfriend to learn basic skills

NAH, upbringing affects common sense. Boyfriend not a jerk for teaching.

Understanding and empathetic comment on compatibility and basic skills.

ESH commenter advises to cut loose unsatisfactory relationship.

NTA. Discussion needed about future expectations and responsibilities.

NTA helps stepson get CDL, wife can’t function without him

NTA comment suggests finding a mature person,

Commenter advises to run from pushy boyfriend.

Encouraging or overbearing? NTA suggests ADHD quiz for girlfriend

Pushing partner to learn basic skills: NTA or overbearing?

Commenter suggests boyfriend has unresolved mommy issues

Commenter shares personal experience and advises leaving toxic situation.

NTA calls out girlfriend’s helplessness, criticizes her parents parenting skills

NTA pushes girlfriend to learn basic skills, but she deflects responsibility

Partner or child? NTA suggests reconsidering the relationship

NTA. Commenter shares personal experience with only child girlfriend.

NTA, but harsh truth: find someone else.

Commenter advises OP to move on from narcissistic girlfriend.

NTA but tough love may require a breakup

NTA calls out girlfriend’s immaturity, warns of future blame game ‍♂️