Celebrities do things differently from the rest of us.
I know. “No duh,” you say. But listen: it’s not every day that you hear about a celebrity not letting their kids believe in Santa Claus is it?
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I didn’t think so. Here’s what’s up.
Being a celebrity means that from time to time, your parenting skills may be challenged.
That’s what happens when you choose to raise kids in the spotlight, I guess.
People had a lot of thoughts when Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher revealed that their kids wouldn’t be getting Christmas presents.
“Last year when we celebrated Christmas, Wyatt was two and it was too much. We didn’t give her anything — it was the grandparents,” they said .
Kourtney Kardashian prohibits her kids from using cotton pillowcases.
Her pillowcases are only made from silk — which is actually really great for your hair!
“The Big Bang Theory” actress, Mayim Bialik, doesn’t force her kids to say please or thank you.
Instead, she prefers to wait them out until they say it on their own.
Jennifer Lopez does what she can to reduce her kid’s screen time.
To make sure her kids aren’t getting too much screen-time, she only allows them to use their iPads on Sundays — something she calls “Sunday Funday”.
Gabrielle Union has been the latest celeb to open up about a parenting tactic that not everybody agrees with.
Gabrielle became a new mom in 2018.
She and her husband, Dwyane Wade (who has three children himself) welcomed a daughter via surrogate in November of 2018.
Her name is Kaavia James Union Wade, and her Instagram is the cutest place on Earth.
Her conception was a real struggle.
“There was a lot of pain, and a lot of disappointment,” she told Parents .
She suffered miscarriages and failed IVF treatments, thanks to a condition called adenomyosis.
Basically, inner lining of her uterus grows into the uterine wall, making pregnancy incredibly difficult.
Kaavia is so adored by her parents.
“Kaavia really is the personification of hope for a lot of people like us, who maybe didn’t have a lot to be hopeful about,” she said.
“She represents that maybe there is a light at the end. And when you take people on the low points of your journey, it’s cool to let them be part of the joy. Plus, she’s really cute. And has an uncanny ability for making steely eye contact!”
Recently, she sat down with broadcast host Tamron Hall.
The two worked with Oprah Magazine to do a very unique interview.
Both hardworking black women in the entertainment industry and both new mothers in their 40s, the magazine had Gabrielle interview Tamron for them.
They started off by talking about the word “motherhood.”
Gabriel said she was resistant to the word at first: “[…] I was a non-mom way longer than I’ve been a mom, so I didn’t want people to see me as one dimensional either.”
Tamron agreed, and added that social media likes to put people in boxes like that.
Being black and from the South has informed their parenting experiences.
Gabrielle shared how different she and Dwyane feel about certain topics — like Santa.
Recently, she brought up the topic in anticipation of Christmas with their four children. Dwyane had an unexpected reaction.
Santa was a hot topic.
“Let’s tell the kids their Christmas gifts are from Santa.”
That was the simple idea that Gabrielle had for Kaavia, Zaire Blessing Dwyane, Zion Malachi Airamis, and Xavier Zechariah.
Dwyane had a different point of view.
Here it is:
“There’s no way in hell I’m letting these kids think that old white man is sneaking into our house and doing anything for them,” he said.
Gabrielle knew where he was coming from.
Dwyane had a different childhood.
According to Gabrielle, “[..] he didn’t grow up believing in Santa Claus.
And we have these conversations when it comes to raising our children about where to draw the line between fantasy and ‘Hey, that’s not how life works.'”
It’s important to remember that not every family celebrates Christmas and therefore, not every child believes in Santa Claus
And those kids turned out perfectly fine, right?
Additionally, a lot of families can’t afford lavish gifts at Christmas time.
As a result, Santa Clause doesn’t exist in their homes because the parents would rather their children know that the presents they do get, come from the money they worked hard for.
Tamron agreed with Gabrielle’s explanation, and added another important point.
“Modern parenting is especially difficult for parents of color — we have to talk about not only ‘Are we gonna say Santa exists,’ but also ‘Is Santa Black?'”
Santa is depicted white so often, which is crazy for a fictional character.
Like Ariel, he can be any race we choose for him to be!
Her new show will tackle conversations like that.
“Something as simple as Santa Claus could cause a big debate, so why not have a conversation with real parents of all backgrounds talking about how they approach Santa Claus, and what race he is?
It might sound small, but these are the everyday things we’re thinking about.”
They also discussed sexism in motherhood.
Guilt plays a role for them, especially if they miss out on time with their children due to work.
The thing they wanted to know is: why didn’t the men they spoke to also feel that same guilt?
Sexism, it’s sexism.
On the reason Dwyane doesn’t feel that guilt: “Because no one has ever asked him questions like ‘Do you feel guilty for missing things with your kids?’
The assumption is that mothers should experience guilt for missing things, but with dads, it’s just not a thing.”
Gabrielle has a new trick, though.
So when I get asked that question in interviews, I don’t mind shaming the interviewer like, ‘I’ve noticed that you interviewed Warren Buffett or Jay Z, and never once did you ask them how they balanced it all with their children.'”
They both believe in being open and sharing their journeys.
Gabrielle said, “We have a right to our privacy, of course, but we also have a right to share our stories.
I think all you can do is be authentic, especially when you’re in the public eye. People can smell it when you’re not being authentic.”
Amen.
