You may have heard, but there is something absolutely ridiculous circling the internet right now, that has been shockingly gaining momentum: “Straight pride.”
To make matters worse, they’ve tried making Brad Pitt their mascot.
WTF, amirite?
June is Pride Month, and for some reason, straight people who feel threatened by this are trying to start their own movement.
And it is somehow gaining traction?
Yep, I have officially lost all faith in humanity.
Evidently, these particular straight people involved in organizing “straight pride”, think they deserve a reason to celebrate themselves.
Apparently, not ever being shamed or discriminated against for their sexual orientation in all of history gives them something to be proud of?
The “straight advocacy group” known as Super Happy Fun America, pushing for “straight pride” is coming to Boston on a to-be-determined date in August.
Their goal is to “celebrate the diverse history, culture, and contributions of the straight community.”
Umm. Ok?
On the organization’s website the group states, “The Straight Pride Event will be held to achieve inclusivity and apread awareness of issues impacting straights in Greater Boston and beyond.”
They are also hoping to raise a straight flag at city hall.
News of the event was tipped off by an editor from the New York Times Carolyn Ryan, who screencapped a Facebook status by the organizer Mark Sahady.
If you’re shaking your head in disappointment, anger, rage, confusion in response to this status, I understand. I feel you.
“Captain America” and “The Avengers” actor Chris Evans was having none of this and condemned the group visiting his hometown.
He took to Twitter to voice his opinion on the matter and it’s amazing.
This gives us even more reason to love him.
He savagely responded to The Washington Post’s tweet about their article on the “Straight Pride” parade.
This has to be one of the greatest clap backs at homophobes of 2019.
Well said, Chris.
He explained how disappointed he is in the entire situation, encouraging people to educate themselves better.
He shared another person’s post that articulates what a dumpster fire “straight pride” is.
Essentially, “straight pride” is just a celebration of their own insecurity and an expression of fear toward something they don’t want to understand.
So what does Brad Pitt have to do with all of this?
Glad you asked.
He actually doesn’t . Or at least — he really doesn’t want to have anything to do with it.
Super Happy Fun America unofficially declared Brad Pitt as their mascot.
Wow, what an honor! (that was aggressive sarcasm BTW).
Brad was completely unaware of this title that was bestowed upon him at the time.
Super Happy Fun America’s website incorporated their “mascot” by posting a photo of Brad and his ex wife, Angelina Jolie, as their “Mr. & Mrs. Smith” characters.
The photo also shows Brad Pitt’s ex-girlfriend, Jennifer Aniston, pulling a rope around Brad’s waist — as though this ancient love triangle is the identity of “straight culture”.
A source confirmed that Brad demanded that the website remove the photo of him and refrain from using any other photos of him henceforth.
The website took its sweet time taking Brad’s face off of their homepage .
Brad’s protest to no longer be the face of Super Happy Fun America doesn’t exactly come as a surprise.
I mean, I personally can’t understand why anybody would want to be their mascot, but Brad’s reason is even more justified.
In 2008, he reportedly donated $100,000 to organizations that fought in support of same-sex marriage.
He has been a known advocate of the LGBTQ community.
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Super Happy Fun America changed their mascot to Milo Yiannopoulos, which seems more suiting.
“Due to a scheduling conflict, our former mascot is no longer available,” they wrote on their website, explaining the reason why Brad Pitt was no longer their mascot.
Failing to include the part where he asked to be taken off the site.
Super Happy Fun America only briefly touched on the most confusing part of the switch.
You know, the fact that Milo Yiannopoulos is openly gay makes him an odd choice for the parade.
“I know it’s a little ironic to have a gay conservative as our icon,” Hugo told the Boston Herald .
You think?
“Not to worry, we found someone younger, more handsome, and more in tune with heroic masculine virtues,” the site continues.
” Milo Yiannopoulos has accepted the offer to be mascot and Grand Marshall of the parade!”
I’d just like to say, that not only is “straight pride” one of the most cringe-worthy things I’ve ever heard of, how dare they say Milo Yiannopoulos is more handsome than Brad Pitt.
No one is more handsome than Brad Pitt, ok?
Especially not Milo Yiannopoulos. But nice try!
Anyway, that’s enough internet for me today.
I’m going to go back to celebrating the real Pride month and try to forget that I ever heard of “straight pride”.
