For the record, I personally think it’s better to stay single than to marry someone just to not be alone. But for some, being alone isn’t always the easier option.
A lot of Redditors out there ended up getting married to their “better than nothing” option , and they opened up about how it’s been going for them. It’s kind of amazing how many people ended up “settling.”
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“I feel like we may have both settled because we had a child together, but 22 years in and he’s a better partner than I could have ever dreamed.” – armsinstead
This is, like, the opposite of most “stayed together for the kids” stories.
“Will celebrate 49 years in May. Was not easy, but we worked though all the issues.” – jadesisto
When asked for advice on how to make a marriage work for so long, the user said, “Never give up, even when the [expletive] is flying from all directions, just hold on because it will get better if you keep trying.”
“A coworker got married to their ‘better than nothing’ six or seven years ago.” – Justicles13
“It was one of those things where both people settled since they were getting older and I guess they figured they’d give it a shot. They went from single to married in eight months.”
“Apparently as time went on it only got better for them.”
“They both started actively trying to better themselves (seeing therapists, picking up healthy solo hobbies) and learned how to best communicate with each other over that time. They’re both in their early 50s now and they act like a happy younger couple whenever we’re at work events. It’s kinda cool to see.”
“So my marriage is not ‘better than nothing,’ but I was also never obsessed with my wife the way I have been obsessed with a new person before.” – Xannin
“Part of the reason I was willing to marry her was because we communicated well, worked with each other to improve each other’s lives, and we generally enjoy many of the same things while still retaining who we are individually.”
“The biggest thing is that we both felt physically and emotionally safe with each other.”
“I am now obsessed. I love my wife more than I have ever loved anyone.”
It’s probably better to marry someone you aren’t obsessed with in the long run…
“Was married for 10yrs, got 2 kids out of it and some of the happiest years of my life.” – FerretsAteMyToes
“We both pretty much settled for each other. Eventually both concluded that we just weren’t right for each other and cut it off but I don’t have any regrets about it.”
“Without her I definitely would have been one of the people out there that are forever alone.”
“So I definitely would agree with the ‘better to have loved and lost’ saying.”
At least they were able to end things on a high note.
“I married my ‘better than nothing’ option in my 30s.” – eileyle
“We both understood what we had waited for and committed ourselves fully to the marriage. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I had married my ‘preferred option’ and I realize that the love I feel from the person I married is so much better than the ‘preferred option’ would have been.”
“I never did convince the preferred option to date me, while the woman I’m married to now found me easy to love.”
“In other words, my romantic self is an idiot and my better than nothing was actually better than everything.”
“I think I am the better than nothing spouse. About a month ago I found out. It was devastating.” – Kierik
“For 17 years she settled for me despite not truly loving me. Life was hard but we had each other or so I thought. The moment we talked about how bad things got she asked for a divorce and I lost my best friend and sole person who I felt I trusted enough to talk to. I move out tomorrow to rebuild my life.”
“I married a guy from Australia 9 years ago to help him immigrate.” – bobo76565657
“We were best friends, but also both very straight (I am also male), so we were those two guys that lived together and did everything together (shopping, gardening, riding bikes, arguing like a couple, and throwing parties).”
“And didn’t give a [expletive] if people thought we were gay (it was secretly very amusing a lot of the time).”
“Anyway, still best friends, both living in different provinces now and he got his papers.”
“My parents got married because they were considered old in their church (they were 26 and 24…) and they both wanted kids.” – Islanduniverse
“My mom told me that is was the practical thing to do, haha! Luckily they hit it off, and though it took a lot of time and work, they are annoyingly in love and have been married for 42 years next month.”
“My former BFF married her ‘better than nothing.'” – FloridaParalegal
“I knew it wasn’t going to go well when she asked me ON HER WEDDING DAY if I would be there for her for the divorce. Long story short, they are now divorced.”
“It was an unhappy marriage from the get go.”
“They managed to get themselves into severe financial difficulty, spawned one offspring and then divorced. I think it lasted about 15 years and I believe that is only because of the child.”
“I found out 5 years into my marriage that I was his ‘better than nothing’ option.” – geminiloveca
“I filed for divorce 2 weeks later (cause it took me that long to come up with the filing fees.)
“It was one of MANY issues in the marriage, but finding out he was telling people he only married me because he feared getting older alone while he was telling me I was The One (TM) [expletive] STUNG.”
“I’m pretty sure that my wife and I were together at first for lack of better options, we were both older, and not finding many prospects.” – Deadeyes__ColdSkin
“We’ve actually discussed it. A decade down the road and we’re both truly happy.”
“I’d fight a grizzly to keep her safe and happy, and she has proven her dedication to our life together in many, many ways.”
“Was it love at first? Probably not, but now it most definitely is.
“I guess we were more compatible than we knew, and with respect and caring we both found how much love we could share.”
“I was the BTN for husband #1. We divorced after dating for 8 years and 8 years married. Never felt so alone. We were glorified roommates. We got along. It was ok.” – schenev_us
“Husband #2 thinks I’m the best thing to happen to him and says it often. He’s the best thing that ever happened to me. We saved each other. We have stuck together through tough times. It’s amazing how different a real marriage is.”
