In life, if we are lucky enough, we find someone that we want to spend our lives with . Once we find this person, we usually decide to get married to spend forever together (or sometimes, just to have that amazing ceremony and party).
Not everyone gets to be so lucky but those who do have to deal with the ups and downs of being married to someone else . That means that they learn a lot of different lessons throughout their time being married.
If you’re with the right person, marriage shouldn’t be “hard.”
“That marriage itself shouldn’t be hard. It’s life you go through together with grief, stress, illness, etc. that’s hard work, not a marriage or relationship if it’s with the right person,” shared spooky_scully_mulder .
Love is not enough.
A_Salty_Moon said that it is very important to have real-life conversations with someone you may want to marry. Love is important, but it’s not enough. What is important, is to make sure you both want the same things out of life before you decide to tie the knot.
Find someone who loves you for you.
“Find someone who wants to do life with you and loves you for you. Not someone who wants to be in love and be married. There is a difference. Find the person who loves you as you are, without you having to prove to them you are loveable,” said TrailingKat .
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Remember you are partners.
mundanenightmare shared that when problems arise, it’s important to remember that you and your partner are a team. It’s you both together vs. the problem, not you vs. your partner. Tackle things together as a team.
Always tell your partner how you feel.
BeccaG94 shared that it’s important to remember communication is key. If you are upset with them about something, no matter how small, it’s important to tell them and let them know before it grows into resentment.
Have boundaries and be selective in your life when you meet people.
“Be absolutely unshakable in your boundaries before getting married. Be certain that this person is genuinely improving your life and isn’t just an adequate candidate to fill the ‘spouse’ role,” Relative_Dimensions said.
As a couple, you decide what makes or breaks you.
blackcoffee_always said that it’s never going to be anyone else’s fault if your marriage falls apart. No one is able to make or break your relationship except for the two people who are involved in it.
If something is worth fighting for, fight for it.
LithiumPopper shared that when things are important to you, you don’t put them on the back burner. You fight to keep the spark alive and you fight to make things work. Never let things slip away when they matter to you.
Marriage also isn’t for everyone.
“That marriage isn’t for everyone, and that’s the polite version. If I’m honest I’ll say that in my experience it was suffocating and not worth it. Of course I had a husband who lied to me about finances, his health, and his intentions,” said FabulousPossession73 .
Long-lasting doesn’t matter if you’re not happy.
HiveFleetOuroboris shared that you shouldn’t be coming home day after day feeling like your miserable and bracing yourself when you walk through the door. Marriage shouldn’t be so hard. If you’re not happy, it’s not worth it.
The effort shouldn’t stop just because you are married.
GrandSaltQueen said that it’s important to remember that just because you are “together forever” now that you are married doesn’t mean the effort is supposed to stop. The effort is important no matter where you are in your relationship and marriage.
Respect and kindness matter when it comes to your partner.
“Kindness and respect as the foundations of marriage. I wouldn’t do or say anything to my spouse that I wouldn’t say or do to a friend, family member, or stranger,” said Educational_Ninja249 .
You go through ups and you go through downs.
Tatertotsmagee said that in marriage, you will go through good times and bad times. It’s not like a fairytale or a Disney movie. There will be moments where you cannot stand each other and moments where you are blissfully in love, too.
It’s okay to be different people.
onetoomanyexcuses said that in life, you don’t have to like everything that your partner does and vice versa. It’s okay to have different likes and dislikes, interests, and hobbies. Being your own person is important.
Divorce sometimes happens without you even realizing it.
“That you can do everything right and still wind up divorced. It takes 2 people to maintain the relationship garden and if one decides to check out, you can’t maintain that garden by yourself,” said Sunwolfy .
