As c hildren , we look to our parents as the be-all end-all of human knowledge. They’re our caregivers, our overseers, we have no reason to not believe everything they tell us because we don’t have the experience to know otherwise yet.
However, as we grow older, life comes at us fast and we eventually learn that not everything they taught us was true. A Reddit thread asked people to share the times they learned that something their parents taught them was wrong, and people happily obliged.
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Spending habits.
“My dad on finances, ‘when you have money you spend it and when you run out you just stay home’.”
Clearly not the soundest advice out there. In case you don’t know, don’t spend all of your money as soon as you get it, and even if you don’t have any, don’t stay cooped up all the time!
Opposites don’t always attract.
“Men and women couldn’t be friends.
“I was raised in a weird ass religion in which almost any amount of communication with the opposite sex was seen as dating. Regularly texting a girl? That may as well be dating. It’s a belief that I’ve had to unlearn after moving out so that I could have normal friendships with people.”
Standing up for yourself.
“‘Respect your elders’ but in the sense that you should just keep quiet when you disagree with somebody older than you – turns out many people are awful regardless of their age. Don’t get me wrong, my default is to respect any new person I meet, but when a person has repeatedly shown me that they don’t [care] about my feelings or even basic logic, I won’t hold back from speaking my mind calmly, even if they see this as disrespectful.”
Forever tracked.
“If you get in trouble at school, it will go on your permanent record.
“My Mom would know, she was a teacher. Why would she lie? Turns out getting in trouble at school did not prevent me from going to college, or getting a job.”
Low expectations.
“‘If a boy acts like a jerk, it means he likes you!’ No…just no…First of all, he shouldn’t be let off the hook for acting like a jerk. (Whether he’s 5 or 105). Secondly, it teaches girls that abuse is okay, or that they should expect to be treated like crap (and that it’s okay for them to be treated like crap).”
Life beyond 25.
“If you don’t figure out your life by 25 you’re screwed for the rest of it.”
What a defeatist view of life that really makes people rush into things they don’t want. Life doesn’t just stop at 25 and you’re barred from doing anything new — there are always chances to start again.
Unconditional kindness.
“Lack of empathy. My parents grew up in a really really horrible situation and they made it out and did well for themselves. So now anytime anyone struggles they refuse to feel bad for them because they have gone through worse and did fine. I think people deserve empathy regardless.”
Time alone.
“My mum made me believe that privacy was a privilege. Wasn’t until I started studying childcare and learning in depth about the rights of the child that I learned it is a right and that my mum is full of [expletive].”
A moment to breathe.
“That you need to hustle 100% of the time and be constantly busy with school/work, extra activities, side projects, cleaning etc. Spending time unwinding is a sign of laziness and [boredom] and intelligent people are never bored. This really messed me up and I’m still learning the art of wasting time.”
Topics of discussion.
“That sex, sexuality, drinking/drugs/partying, politics, money, spirituality are awkward things to discuss. I want my future kids to know facts and that if they are ever in trouble, I am a safe place for them. We don’t have to talk about it if they don’t want to, they’ll be taught how to be safe, but they should also know that these subjects are a part of life and should not cause shame.”
Letting it out.
“That crying and expressing your emotions in general is rude, over sensitive and embarrassing.
It’s not. And I hate that I still feel like a piece of shit when I can’t hold back my tears. Expressing your emotions is natural and healthy. Crying is a mechanism to let go of emotional distress instead of overloading your brain.”
Workplace boundaries.
“‘Your job is to do whatever your boss tells you to do.’
“This led to a bunch of stupid situations of both me getting walked all over by employers and me quitting jobs over things that could have been fixed with a conversation.”
Creative freedom!
“That people will judge you for colored/[fun] hair, piercings and tattoos. It’s only partly true. They judge you for everything.”
The last part, though unfortunately true, is sort of freeing. If people will judge you anyway, might as well do what you want!
Sorry, not sorry.
“That parents never have to apologize to their kids. I love my dad. He is a great dad and I know he loves me so much, but he has it in his head that even now, even when his youngest (me) is an adult, that he doesn’t need to apologize if he does something wrong. It’s baffling.”
Blinded by the lights.
“That having the interior car light on while driving is illegal. My dad use to flip if we turned it on. In my country, it isn’t illegal but advised against not too as it can create glare and obscure your vision. This was confirmed to me by a traffic officer.”
A little less serious than the rest, but it’s shocking how common this one was in the replies! Why did all parents tell us this?
