Yup, it happened. Matthew McConaughey is on social media.
In true McConaughey fashion, his debut on Instagram was filled with self-reflection, a few laughs, and a brief exploration of the human condition.
I mean, what could we have possibly expected, except this?
He’s been on social media for a while.
Especially on Twitter, where he shares his account with his Just Keep Livin’ Organization, which is dedicated to the health and wellness of high school students.
Oh, also? He has 2.5 million followers.
He debuted his Instagram on his birthday.
He took to his Twitter to announce that he’d finally created an Instagram account: @officiallymcconaughey.
He explained that it took him 50 years to get to his “join Instagram” point. He did so while walking backwards down a hallway, because he’s Matthew McConaughey.
His first post was a video.
And, as of publishing, it’s still his only post.
The video he posted starts like a film: a black screen, with only his voice and subtitles to guide you.
“When people come to my page, I want them to see me.”
He wasn’t sure about all this.
“Look, this my first venture into sharing myself and my views with the world, and I’m a little bit nervous about it, because quite frankly…” He trailed off for a second.
And then he started laughing.
“I know I want to have a monologue, I’m not sure I wanna have the dialogue.”
Honestly, the man has survived on Twitter all these years. Instagram should be a breeze.
Some things are totally necessary.
“But I’ve learned that you’ve gotta have the dialogue to have the monologue, just as you have to have the monologue to have the dialogue.”
We stan a man who understands growth only comes from listening to others.
This is a whole new adventure.
“So I’m looking forward to it, I’m looking forward to sharing who I am with you, I’m looking forward to seeing if who I am translates, if what I want to share translates.”
He wants to invoke emotion.
“If it tickles your funny bone, if it makes you think a second. Makes your heart swell up a little bit.”
He wouldn’t be who he is if his every action didn’t have a soulful purpose.
Then he said something totally classic.
“If it makes you take a quiet moment for a walk and go, ‘I gotta check in with them and the e.'”
If you asked, “This celebrity said this…,” on Jeopardy, the question would be, “Who is Matthew McConaughey?”
He then talked about high eyes.
“Hopefully all those things. Let’s have some fun with it, though, and let’s keep the high eye. Not the low eye. High eye.”
His fellow celebs loved his first post.
“Woohoo!! Instagram just got so much BETTER,” Reese Witherspoon wrote in the comments.
Alright, so go with me here: Matthew McConaughey in season 3 of Big Little Lies . His beach bum aesthetic would fit right in.
I don’t know why this made me laugh.
While everyone else was praising the choice or telling him how much they loved him, Kevin Jonas kept this simple: a single “100” emoji, and that’s it.
I love you, Kevin Jonas.
He also figured out Instagram stories.
“‘Cause I may not be willing, but I’m capably able.’” He sang to an empty room.
I also googled those lyrics and found…nothing. Once again, let me know if you have any idea what he’s singing. I’m up for learning something new.
He pondered his own Instagram presence out loud.
“Do I have an Instagram? Well, I’d be a lot cooler if I did. But guess what?”
I just bet that I know exactly what he’s about to say. I got this.
I was right.
“It is now a lot cooler, ‘cause I do. Alright Instagram, let’s do this. Let’s get some howdys going. Howdy.”
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Howdy, Matthew McConaughey, and happy birthday! May your time on Instagram be full of creativity, and not involve a bunch of weird dudes messaging you the word “hey” repeatedly.
(That can’t just be me that happens to, right?)
