When it comes to monumental moments in people’s lives, the moment when someone proposes to you is something that many look forward to. Some of us dream about the “perfect proposal” with the person we truly love. But, sometimes, when we dream too much, we can be disappointed by our own expectations.
Some women say it’s not about the proposal, but the fact that their significant other wants to marry them.
However, other women say that the proposal does matter and it’s something that should be carefully planned and curated.
Recently, one woman decided to “walk out” on her boyfriend after his proposal was nothing short of disappointing.
Writing into the popular “Am I The Asshole?” forum on Reddit, the woman asked if she was in the wrong for walking out of the room after her boyfriend proposed.
She said that the proposal is something she and her boyfriend talked about multiple times.
“One of the things we discussed a year ago was ideas about how he wanted to propose. He talked about a proposal in the mountains, or in a forest; something outdoors, simple but romantic to us. I was very happy and excited, not to mention we live between mountains and forests so it was also easily accessible,” she wrote.
The two even discussed details like which mountain was the most “romantic.”
“We have been discussing this many times, even dropping ideas of which mountain would be the most romantic (we hike together, so we thought the very first mountain we’ve been to for example). We also discussed who should propose [to] who, [and] he told me he really wanted to be the one doing it,” she added.
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However, when he decided to propose, it was nothing like they discussed.
“Yesterday, after I came back home from work exhausted, we cooked, watched TV, and at some point, I went to the hallway to hang a coat. He followed me and he proposed. Between the shoes on the floor, the kitchen and the restroom, he was kneeling,” she said.
She said she was incredibly disappointed because it was nothing like they had discussed.
“Here is my probable asshole move: I was so hurt, I couldn’t say a word. Couldn’t even accept it. I looked at him, looked around me as I couldn’t believe where he proposed, felt the tears in my eyes. I nodded, and walked past him to lay on the bed and cry,” she said.
She said that she told her boyfriend she would marry him, but she was disappointed in the way he chose to propose.
“My friends are mixed about it, but a few of them did say I was being ungrateful and that it’s the thought that counts: he wants to marry me after all, and maybe this is the only thing that counts,” she wrote.
While many people said that maybe the boyfriend was just “too excited to wait,” they also agreed that this woman is not in the wrong for being disappointed.
“You can’t help how you felt. I would judge differently if you two hadn’t discussed how to propose. I’d be a little miffed, like why the big lead up then? But you should explain that the big lead up lead to bigger expectations,” one person said.
Others said it’s on the boyfriend for making it a big “lead up.”
“I don’t get the whole proposal ‘wow’ factor-thing, but he got your hopes up by basically telling you he was going to do it in a romantic way then made it seem like a complete afterthought,” another added.
Do you think she’s in the wrong for her reaction?
