There are many people who dream about the day that they grow up and have children and become parents. For some, it’s something they dream about and look forward to their entire lives.
They know that they want to be a mother or a father from Day 1. However, there are also those who are undecided or unsure, not wanting to have children until they 100% know that they want to. And, sometimes, the outcome is that they just do not want to have kids at all.
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There are many different reasons why people choose not to have children.
For some, not having kids is a choice that they make based on their own upbringings. Some people had parents who were not the best, did not want to be parents, and in return, they had a hard childhood. So, they actively have decided to not have children, hoping to not have the same or similar outcome.
Others do not wish to have kids for financial and personal reasons.
Then, there are those who don’t want to have kids because they are incredibly expensive and they cannot afford it. Not only do you need to provide for a child’s basic needs, but kids cost a lot of money down the road. Clothing, food, toys, college—it all adds up. Many also do not wish to have children because they like to live a life that is full of spontaneity, independence, and freedom. Having a child means that you are constantly tied down to someone else.
There are also those who physically cannot have children.
Of course, they are also women and men all over the world who cannot conceive or have children of their own. While adoption is always an option in these situations, some decide that if they cannot conceive, maybe parenthood is just not for them.
Recently, one woman on TikTok shared her own reason as to why she does not want to have children.
Creating a video stitch where someone asked women in their 30s what is it like “not having kids” and what’s the reason as to why they decided not to, a TikTok user responded with an answer many of us were definitely not expecting. Of course, she said she loves having her own freedom, free time, and money. But, there’s an entirely different reason, as well.
The TikTok user says that she has the “financial” and “emotional” bandwidth to foster relationships with her friend’s kids.
Not being a parent means you have more money and time, absolutely. You also have a lot more freedom. The TikTok user points out that for her friends who do have children, she has the time, money, and emotional freedom to establish and foster really important and special relationships with them.
She points out that a child’s upbringing and well-being doesn’t only start and end with their parents.
She points out that kids need relationships with other adults outside of their parents and family who are good, supportive, and kind influences in order for them to have a positive upbringing. Not having her own kids means she has the time to be that individual for all of them.
She believes people who don’t have children get to “step up.”
There is a saying that it “takes a village” to raise a child, and the TikTok user said the ones who don’t have kids get the chance to be that person to step up and be part of said village. They are able to help foster the social and emotional needs of children when their parents are at their ends.
Many people on Twitter shared that they also had women in their lives like this.
Many Twitter users said that they grew up with women like this in their lives and it shaped them immensely. Many of the women who filled that role in people’s lives have brought them to where they are today.
Others said their mother’s friends were “so important” to them growing up.
Others agreed that their mother’s “childless friends” were such a blessing growing up. They were able to be there for them when kids were not comfortable going to their own parents for things. Many said that they felt seen and heard by them.
And, some said that even if they do have kids, they still can be this person.
One Twitter user pointed out being this person is a fun adventure and blessing, that they get to be part of their friend’s kid’s lives and share updates, talk, text, and even follow each other on social media. They love to be part of their “village.” But, they also want to have their own kids, too. And, there’s nothing wrong with that!
