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20 People Who Took Laziness To A Whole New Level

by Paddy Clarke
5 years ago
in Humor
Reading Time: 8 mins read
A A
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Everyone can have a tendency to let their lazy inner-self shine from time to time. Sometimes that might be when making the most horrifically lazy burrito of all time or using a crane to get your lunch without having to move from your seat.

And so, with this in mind, please enjoy these 20 times people took laziness to a whole new level.

“Hung the toilet paper, dad.”

Image credit: Reddit | MyJelloJiggles
Reddit | MyJelloJiggles

Based on the state of the floor underneath this, I’m not surprised that this “contraption” exists.

This is what that reminds me of:

Mufasa hanging on by a thread as per usual. Me? I would never.

“Forgot to get a fork for my salad while on the job. Worked perfectly for Chick-fil-A as well. Only took a few zip-ties and tape.”

Image credit: Reddit
Reddit

I can’t say that I understand why they didn’t just use their hands, but I guess that it is kind of ingenious?

You know when your laziness is actually MORE work than it would’ve taken to do just do the thing?

Fine, fine. I’ll zip it. Or Zip TIE it. Wait, never mind. I’m not zip-tying anything. You saw NOTHING.

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I am assuming that this “cape” is actually more like a bedsheet tied around their neck rather than a real cape.

I mean, lazy can be a superpower, right?

What kind of award do I get for being super tired, super dehydrated, super behind on all my work, and super great at doing my taxes late. Key to the city? My own comic series? Anything?

“Father’s Day gift from daughter. I must say I AM a great pillow layer.”

Image credit: Reddit | Jpfeife
Reddit | Jpfeife

I think that “laying on the pillows” and “[eating] chips” would be two of my defining character traits as well.

We should all have to fill out one of these about ourselves before we go on a Tinder date.

But this only works if we are all HONEST, okay? Agreed? Okay, I’ll go first. I am best at begging my boyfriend to go out on a hike and then refusing to take a water bottle with me but getting overheated halfway through and picking fights over nothing instead of just like, having water.

“I was too lazy to keep getting up and check my pot if it was boiling, so I just Skyped it.”

Image credit: Reddit | itoa5t
Reddit | itoa5t

Well the old saying goes, “A FaceTime-d pot never boils”! That’s the age-old expression I’m fairly certain of it.

Honestly, that’s a better experience than skyping my ex.

And yeah, I’m aware that I’m saying I prefer to look at my own reflection in a pot filled with wet noodles. Noodles over Brad literally any day of the week.

“Imagine being a car manufacturer, spending thousands of hours designing and developing a car, just for the buyer to pull up in this.”

Image credit: Reddit | nikola_144
Reddit | nikola_144

This might be a very early prototype of a flying car… A very, very early prototype that is!

This is not the future I signed up for.

I know that most of you will be like “I expected cars to drive themselves by now” but my vibe was more like “I was very VERY convinced that the world was going to end in 2012 so really, I didn’t think the earth would be around long enough for us to devolve into this severe of stupidity.

“When you got a lunch break on a crane but you’re too lazy to go down.”

Image credit: Reddit | peleg462
Reddit | peleg462

I would be primarily worried that pigeons or seagulls would peck away at the bag and steal my food while it was on its way up!

Who doesn’t love a death picnic?

No one? Just me? If my dining experience doesn’t threaten my life, I DON’T WANT IT.

Windows Failed To Install Properly…

Image credit: Reddit | KitCat1516
Reddit | KitCat1516

There has to be an interesting reason behind this, surely? Unless the reason is just that the builder was drunk!

This reminds me of something…

There we go, the perfect comparison!

“This is my dollar store Rubik’s cube that still has the Shutterstock logo on the planets!”

Image credit: Reddit | beepollenart
Reddit | beepollenart

I suppose that there is also the chance that Shutterstock are the first company to own a planet, only for them to use Mars as a giant advert?

Who would be dumb enough to do that???

For legal reasons, I cannot make a good joke by also posting a shuttershock photo but TRUST ME the joke would’ve been very funny. You just have to trust me.

Seamless Work…

Image credit: Reddit | IsopropylAlcohol69
Reddit | IsopropylAlcohol69

It actually lines up pretty well, I’ve seen much worse attempts at “fixing” a problem that’s for sure.

Why call this lazy when you could call it, uh, innovative!

Don’t stifle my…creativity! That’s what it is. Creativity. Definitely.

“Telephone pole was damaged in a storm, electric company decided they replace poles but can’t be bothered to transfer wires.”

Image credit: Reddit | ScarlettWaffles
Reddit | ScarlettWaffles

This seems like it is probably some sort of health and safety risk, right? I feel like I would just be waiting for that to fall on someone’s head.

Why do now what you could do after a major emergency?

Daredevils don’t make themselves.

“She was too lazy to move while dad was mowing the lawn.”

Image credit: Reddit | pi3rcetheveil
Reddit | pi3rcetheveil

No matter how much you may bury this dog in grass, she will never give up her favorite spot! I wish that I had this much resolve in life.

Reminds me of the time…wait

This is not a story I should be telling right now. It’s, um…well, maybe I’ll tell it at the end. Deal?

“Now I call that a Support Line.”

Image credit: Reddit | Ghomba
Reddit | Ghomba

And yes, I’m aware that “Now I call that a Support Line” sounds like the worst Now! Music compilation CD ever.

Yeah Brad, a SUPPORT line.

Not that you’d know anything about SUPPORT, right Brad? You’re about as supportive as a strapless bra.

They Had One Job…

Image credit: Reddit | XDminceraft
Reddit | XDminceraft

“You only told me to remove the full stops from the bullet points, not the bullet point telling me to remove the full stops itself!”

“You are exhausting, Dave.”

Editing is important people!

You should always get an editor for your work. Please bold this sentence. Please don’t include the instructions in the actual article.

Just Two Ingredients!

Image credit: Reddit | dooooozenberg
Reddit | dooooozenberg

Did they even heat up that can of refried beans or do you reckon they just had it nice and cold?

Yeah, this is about the limit of my cooking abilities.

What can I say? I’m not housewife material.

How Is This Even Possible?

Image credit: Reddit | declancochran
Reddit | declancochran

I genuinely do not understand how this catastrophe could ever come about? It hurts to look at.

The laziness is BAFFLING.

I know, I KNOW. You want to hear THE story I promised a little earlier. It’s coming! Unlike…other things. If you know you know.

“My girlfriend’s cat sleeping on top of the brooms in her family’s shop.”

Image credit: Reddit | slimpedroca
Reddit | slimpedroca

What is even worse is that this cat was meant to be working the checkout at the time as well!

I don’t judge places people fall asleep anymore

Brad was a real “mattress on the ground with no fitted sheet” kind of guy.

“Painted that wall for you!”

Image credit: Reddit | gravitas-deficiency
Reddit | gravitas-deficiency

“I thought that the board was a part of the wall…”

“Really? That’s the rock you’re going to die on?”

Look, painting is hard!

We can’t all be Bob Ross!

“Somebody at the gym threw a medicine ball into the drywall. They fixed it by putting a vent grate over it.”

Image credit: Reddit | oui-zzer
Reddit | oui-zzer

I mean, drilling in a vent is a lot easier than fixing busted drywall. They really though outside of the box on this one.

What’s the best way to solve your problems? Cover them up and avoid them.

I learned that from a certain special someone.

“My lazy mailman, everyone.”

Image credit: Reddit | stellarladyfriend
Reddit | stellarladyfriend

Wow, I wonder how many flowerbeds this mailman has done for thanks to this behaviour?

I’m a person of my word so, here’s that story…

Brad used to be REALLY bad at mowing the lawn. Not from lack of skill, but from pure laziness. He often would not clean the clumped-up grass from inside the mower before he used it, nor would he (and this is key), check to see if there was dog poop in the yard before he mowed the lawn. Call it double lazy, if you will.

So one day, he goes to mow, and the mower is making all these sounds like JGJJJHJHNMMMMMGRRRRRRRRRRSPPPPPPPPPP which are not cute. But he carries on because who has time to do it properly? And while he is distracted trying to push the mower, he runs over a big ‘ol pile of poop, the mower sucks it up, and suddenly, there is poop spray EVERYWHERE. Against the house siding. All over the grass. In his HAIR. And do you want to know what this man does? Runs his HEAD under the GARDEN HOSE and KEEPS MOWING. And that, my friends, is the laziest thing I’ve ever seen.

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