There are many expectations in society that women are expected to live up to. From their early days, many girls are always being groomed and spoken to about the time in their life when they will eventually get pregnant and have a baby .
Society constantly puts pressure on women to grow up, get married, and immediately get pregnant and start a family. However, for some women, the process is not that seamless, simple, or easy.
When we see women who may “look” pregnant, some people feel it’s appropriate to ask if they are.
As we all know, society has set some pretty unrealistic beauty expectations on women in today’s day and age.
For one thing, the average weight of what women “should be” has been up for debate. The “fat v. fit” debate is one that goes up and down from generation to generation, with standards changing constantly.
When we think a woman is a bit bigger, we sometimes assume she is pregnant.
When we see women with a smaller pouch of not the stereotypical model size, we assume that they could possibly be pregnant.
And, sometimes, we think that it’s appropriate to ask if they are pregnant and expecting. However, there is a huge possibility and change that they are not pregnant, and that can be extremely offensive.
No matter who it is, asking someone if they are pregnant or if they plan to become pregnant is inappropriate.
Regardless of whether it’s your friend, family, in-laws, or even a co-worker, asking a woman about their pregnancy or their plans for pregnancy is totally wrong.
For one, their weight is not your concern. Someone else’s body is completely theirs and their journey is their own to have and to decide whether or not they want to discuss it with others.
When I was in elementary school, a teacher of mine was in the early stages of her pregnancy.
When I was in the 4th grade, a teacher of mine was in the very early stages of her pregnancy. A peer of mine had seen her sonogram photo sticking out of her bag.
When we were in the classroom, she proceeded to grab the sonogram out of her bag and announce loudly, “Miss, are you having a baby?”
I remember the look of shock and fear on my teacher’s face.
At the time, I did not understand fully the violation that had happened from the classmate when she announced to a room of 27 kids that our teacher was pregnant.
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But, as an adult looking back, I realize how wrong it is to “out” someone and ask about their pregnancy. There are over a dozen reasons why.
Many people may have health issues and struggles.
There is also the point that many women in society struggle with getting pregnant and infertility. In fact, more than 6% of married women aged 15 to 44 years in the United States are unable to get pregnant after one year of trying.
This is a very difficult topic for them to discuss, especially if they have been trying.
In addition, there are those who may not want others to know.
Many women do not want to tell others about their pregnancy until a specific time in their trimesters.
It’s common that some women do not wish to discuss their pregnancy until their 2nd trimester, in case anything were to happen or go wrong during prenatal checkups .
Of course, there are also those who may be struggling with a loss.
While women can appear pregnant, many things can happen in society and in a woman’s body that can impact their pregnancy.
About 10-20% of women who are pregnant can experience a miscarriage that can end their pregnancy and their ability to deliver that baby.
Then, there are those who do not wish to have children.
There are also women in society that do not wish to have children at all. While the opinion and decision can be seen as extremely controversial, some women do not want to have families with children or become mothers.
Though society may expect them to, each individual woman has their own choice in whether or not they want to have kids.
Whatever the reason may be, a woman has a right to their own body autonomy.
Whatever reason they have for keeping their pregnancy, or their “not pregnancy” to themselves, is completely and 100% their own choice and decision.
When thinking about a woman’s body, it’s important to understand and respect their body autonomy and their choices. Violating that boundary and that personal space is extremely disrespectful.
All in all, if you have questions, keep them to yourself.
Overall, if you are “curious” about a person’s pregnancy news or whether or not they are planning to have kids—keep it to yourself.
No one’s body is your business unless it is your own. Everyone has their own struggles that they are going through behind closed doors. It’s better to be respectful and be kind than to violate their boundaries.
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