True crime shows have been captivating audiences for decades. Now, thanks to the success of series like Making a Murderer and Don’t F*** With Cats , it’s become one of the most sought-after genres across streaming platforms.
So much so that true crime has begun to slowly turn even the most casual observer into a wannabe amateur detective. So for those who like to burn the midnight oil examining cold case files, here are 15 tweets that only a true crime buff would understand.
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I just don’t get it.
“Why am i[sic] scared to be in my apartment alone all i[sic] do is read books about murder and listen to podcasts about murder and watch tv shows about murder idk seems odd.” – Twitter @MattTheBrand
It’s like you read my mind.
It might sound counterintuitive, but sometimes the only way to distract yourself from the horrors of the world around you is to immerse yourself in the horrors of Netflix’s latest true crime documentary.
You’ve got a one-track mind.
It was at this precise moment that Twitter user @IndecisiveJones realized that they were sleeping next to a serial killer. I’d want to be keeping one eye open if I were in his shoes.
Forget old-time Rock n’ Roll; I’ve got true crime to soothe my soul!
It sounds strange but I feel like everyone goes through a phase where they’re fascinated with serial killers. Mine has personally lasted roughly 16 years, but that’s nothing to be concerned about — is it?
That sounds about right.
“Friday night ladies u know what that means!! time[sic] to act like i’m[sic] gonna go out but bail last minute to watch a netflix[sic] murder documentary & eat cheetos[sic] on my couch.” – Twitter @holy_schnitt
It’s all up to me.
I understand that this murder has remained unsolved for the better part of three decades. But I also know that there isn’t a cop on the force who’s as dedicated to solving cold cases from their couch as I am.
I feel like you’re on the verge of something spectacular.
How is this not already a reality TV show? I for one would be all aboard for a reality TV wherein the contestants have to solve a season-long murder mystery.
This seems a little too specific…
I’ve learned that it’s fine to say that you want to kill someone hyperbolically, so long as you remain vague and open to interpretation. But when you start exacting and outlining your process, you’re bound to turn some heads.
Nobody ever suspects that they’re living next door to a torture farm.
I understand the sentiment, but at the same time, that’s kind of like saying “I never used to wear a seatbelt until I heard about the grisly crash on the 401 last night.” Use your head, people.
This truly is the stuff that nightmares are made of.
“My biggest problem right now is that I love to fall asleep to podcasts but I only like unsolved murder podcasts and these two things are not compatible.” – Twitter @SWatercolour
That’s what you call textbook overcompensating.
I get it — first dates are awkward. Still, that doesn’t give you any excuse to incriminate yourself to a total stranger. For all you know, he could be trying to entrap you!
Just keep smiling and don’t make any sudden moves.
Not everyone arrives at their own cathartic experience in the same way. Some people choose to travel, while others prefer to remain home and watch people being murdered. That’s not to say that one is right or wrong, they’re just different.
This one goes out to all my directionally-challenged would-be detectives.
To this day I still have to say “Never Eat Shredded Wheat” in order for me to get my directional bearings. It’s not the most refined method but it works.
I mean, it wouldn’t be my first choice…
Have you ever been watching a murder show before drifting off to dream, and then all of a sudden, your dreams become the murder show? No thank you. I’ll stick to watching re-runs of Friends and The Office .
It does seem a little redundant.
“I love when murder documentaries let me know that the scene they’re showing is a ‘dramatic reenactment’ like I thought a professional camera crew filmed John Wayne Gacy eating breakfast with his wife the morning after he buried a corpse under his floorboards.” – Twitter @AudreyPorne
