For years, couples cozily sleeping in the same bed have been the sign of a happy relationship on TV and film. People have historically associated partners sharing a bed with what a healthy romance looks like.
However, many real-life couples are more than happy sleeping separately; no, they don’t consider it a red flag in their relationships. Instead, it makes them feel closer to one another, not to mention sleep a whole lot better.
A study has revealed that there’s been a rise in what people coin as “sleep divorce” and it’s quickly become a trend that people are embracing. Maybe it’s time to toss the stigma aside for a better night’s sleep without your boo.
Sleep is crucial for health
The Center for Disease Control and Prevention explains that getting enough quality sleep can “lower your risk of chronic conditions like: Type 2 diabetes, heart disease, and high blood pressure.”
Having enough sleep can also boost our mental health, lowing risk of depression and anxiety. To day the least, it’s kind of a big deal.
Sleep deprived partners typically argue more
The American Academy of Sleep Medicine (AASM) reports that “those in relationships who consistently experience poor sleep are more likely to engage in conflict with their partners and that sleep loss decreases levels of empathetic accuracy — meaning those who do not have enough sleep may be less able to understand or interpret their partners’ feelings.”
A good night’s sleep seems like it may be the key to a long-lasting love.
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People opt for a ‘Sleep Divorce’ for a variety of reasons
Whether one partner has a bad habit of stealing all the blankets or the other has a loud thundering snore that shakes the whole bed, people have their reasons for wanting a bed all to themselves.
Dr. Seema Khosla, a pulmonologist and spokesperson for AASM said that “[Sleep divorce] could even boost connection for some people, reporting that they feel closer since they’re not waking up a little bit resentful [after] a bad night’s sleep.”
A ‘sleep divorce’ doesn’t mean couples never share a bed again
The important thing to remember is that a “sleep divorce” is all about couples prioritizing sleep to be the best versions of themselves, not fighting or punishing one another (that’s a whole different situation).
In this case, many couples share a bed for lounging, cuddling, and other intimate moments. In fact, “increased cuddling for married couples resulted in statistically higher relationship satisfaction,” according to a study conducted by the Western Journal of Communication in 2019.
Sleeping in different beds may even enhance intimacy
Some say that distance makes the heart grow fonder, and it definitely seems like the case for those doing a “sleep divorce.”
“The physical distance from sleeping in separate beds may enhance longing and desire for one another, contributing to a more passionate and fulfilling relationship, and increasing how meaningful the relationship is for both individuals. This can help foster deeper emotional connections and improve relationship satisfaction,” Carolina Goncalves, superintendent pharmacist at Pharmica told the Independent.
This helps couples with different schedules
Perhaps in a perfect world, every couple would go to bed at the same time and wake up together in a romantic bliss. However, the reality is that couples often have drastically different sleeping and waking schedules.
While one partner may be a night owl who enjoys scrolling social media at night, the other may be an early sleeper who enjoys utter silence as soon as their head hits the pillow. Things get even more complicated when work and/or parenting schedules are at play.
Younger couples are embracing separate bed life
While many Boomers were raised to feel like sleeping in separate beds was a negative thing, Millennials and Gen Z adults are embracing the freedom this option can offer.
In fact, a US study from the AASM concludes that “more than a third of Americans were opting for a sleep divorce – either permanently or temporarily – and Millennials were the biggest uptakers at 43 percent.”
Some people try the ‘Scandinavian sleep method’ instead
For some couples, a complete “sleep divorce” can sound too extreme, so they opt for the “Scandinavian sleep method,” which entails sleeping in the same bed with separate duvets.
Popular in Sweden, Norway, and Denmark, this co-sleeping method offers partners more freedom to move around without disrupting each other. They still have the closeness of the same bed without the discomfort of feeling each other’s constant move.
Plus, there’s no more worry that your partner will hog the blanket.
Some people have temporary ‘sleep divorces’
Sometimes, a “sleep divorce” isn’t something that a couple wants to keep in place forever but serves a temporary purpose. For many parents of little ones, the bed becomes a place for childcare, and it’s easiest for the couple to part ways at night to prioritize their young ones.
Other couples give separate beds a try and decide it’s not a fit for them and opt for a bigger bed or new sleep accommodations for one another.
It comes down to what fosters the best relationship and sleep for everyone.
Let us know what you think in the comments
Let us know what you think of “sleep divorce” in the comments. Is this something you’d ever try? Let us know below!