As parents, there are certain tenets of being a good person that we try to bestow upon our children. We teach them to be kind, caring, and to always tell the truth — while we continuously lie right to their little faces.
Sure, it’s a bit of an ugly truth but the fact of the matter is that being a parent means having to occasionally lie through your teeth to your child. If you don’t believe me, have a look below and check out these incredibly dark secrets that parents have kept from their kids .
RELATED STORIES
I can’t tell if this is a good thing or a bad thing…
“I play mini games[sic] to win coins on their Club Penguin account. They think it’s some kind of glitch with the game. I like the dancing one and the tobogganing ones the best. But those are also pretty much the only two I can consistently find.
Santa Claus can go fa-la-la-la-la himself.
Reddit user WheresMyWine says that she gets incredibly jealous of Santa Claus. She hates the fact that she’s the one who goes through the trouble of figuring out what they want, buying it, keeping it a secret, and then Santa swoops in and takes all the credit.
That’s one way to stop a bully.
Reddit user JustJers says that she once overheard a 19-year-old kid bullying her daughter in the front yard. She tracked the kid down, cornered her with a baseball bat, and threatened to kill her if she even so much as thought about bullying anyone ever again.
Rehabilitation is possible if you’re willing to put in the work.
This Reddit user says that her children have no idea that she was arrested for two separate felonies, nor would they ever be able to envision that their mother had once overdosed on ecstasy.
I’d maybe keep this one to myself.
“That when we first found out about him I tried heavily to convince my wife (then girlfriend) to put him up for adoption or abortion. She held her ground though and we now have the most energetic and polite three and half year old[sic] ever.” – Reddit u/Choeseph_Hilbe
Why wouldn’t you just tell them?
Redditor Schadenfreude2 has two children under the age of five. He says that their mother is actually his second wife and that he isn’t sure how or if he’ll ever tell them that he was previously divorced.
“There are naughty pictures of me on the internet.” – Reddit u/violetjune
You had better hope that your child becomes a technophobe. Otherwise, you are likely going to have an incredibly awkward conversation looming once their teens years hit.
Be proud of how far you’ve come!
Reddit user heather1980 says that her 16-year-old daughter has absolutely no idea that they used to live in a shelter until she turned 6. As far as I’m concerned, this is something to celebrate — not something to hide from.
Mental health issues are nothing to be ashamed of.
Reddit user laugh_less_offspring doesn’t ever want her son to find out that she has Bipolar Disorder. He’s five years old at the moment and she isn’t sure how or if she’ll ever tell him the truth.
You should really lock that stuff up.
“I once found my three-year-old son playing with a Velcro strap on my bed. It’s one of the straps my husband uses to tie me to the bed, blindfold me, and, you know. If my son knew, he’d be mortified. My husband, however, thinks it’s hilarious. Go figure.” – Reddit u/throwaway09847
I’m pretty sure they already know.
Reddit user zerbey says that she and her husband tell their kids how they watch movies after they’ve gone to bed. Sometimes, they do in fact watch a flick but usually, it’s just a code word for sex.
You can’t shy away from the conversation, no matter how difficult it may be.
Reddit user sir_stegosaurous_rex has no idea how he’ll ever explain to his daughter that for four years, he was suicidal. He still has the scars on his wrist from failed attempts, and he’s terrified of what she’ll think.
Who are you protecting: yourself or your son?
Redditor jamcam7 says that she has no plans on ever revealing to her son that she used to be an exotic dancer in her younger years, or that she was once addicted to oxycodone.
Just one more reason as to why ‘The Lion King’ is the best Disney movie of all time.
According to Redditor chefriley76, her son was conceived while she and her husband were stoned off their asses on psychedelics, while watching The Lion King . To this day, the song “I Just Can’t Wait To Be King” hits a little harder.
The moment you realize that your mother may have been a cocaine addict.
“I’m not sure if this qualifies, but I found my mom’s old “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” book in our basement and flipped through it out of curiosity, only to find “Do not take cocaine while pregnant” highlighted…” – Reddit u/PsychedelicGoat42
h/t: Reddit
