They say that you’ll never know the kind of love that comes from having children until you have them , and that’s true. What they don’t tell you, however, is you’ll also never know true frustration, anxiety, and sleep deprivation.
Sometimes, the only thing you can do is laugh to keep from crying . With that being said, have a look below at these hilarious parenting jokes that are a little too on the nose .
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One of the lesser-known thrills of being a parent is testing out potential hairdos on your mini-me.
“I couldn’t decide if I wanted bangs or not so I cut bangs for my daughter and she looks awful . Dodged a bullet there.” – Twitter @momjeansplease
I couldn’t have said it more poetically myself.
It’s the kind of fire that just keeps on burning, regardless of how much you try to douse it or extinguish the flames. Don’t worry, though — it only lasts for about 18 years.
That’ll teach you to be a sarcastic little shit.
I will gladly eat a data overage charge to prove a point. I am the authority figure in this house and as such you must respect me! Take that, Gen Z!
Parenthood comes with perspective.
Part of me thinks that recorders were introduced into school music programs as a way for teachers to get back at parents. If that is the case, then all I have to say is “Bravo!”
It’s always in the last place you think to look.
” Sometimes I like to mess with my family and hide their stuff where they can’t find it .
Like I put their shoes in the shoe closet, their jacket on a hanger and their keys on the key hook.” – Twitter @stayathomies
Don’t you ever shut up?
When your kid starts talking for the first time, you’re filled with unbridled joy and pride. However, those feelings are most definitely fleeting, and once they’re gone — you’ll be begging for the days of peace and quiet.
Please go the [expletive] back to sleep.
A child’s internal clock is a fickle thing. On the one hand, they never seem able to go to sleep at the same time. But on the other, they never have trouble waking you up at the crack of dawn — regardless of how long or little they slept.
I guess it really depends on the cartoon.
I think you have to be more specific. If we’re talking about cartoons like Kim Possible or Paw Patrol , the answer is 100% no. However, if we’re talking about Batman: The Animated Series , you’ve got yourself a deal.
Let it go.
it sounds horrible but I would’ve totally come up with a lie as to why they could no longer watch Frozen by day seven. There’s no way I’m strong enough to subject myself to that kind of torture.
OK, that’s actually a pretty impressive burn.
“My daughter was wearing a flannel hoodie so I said ‘hey, the 90’s called’ and she replied ‘yeah cause they couldn’t text’ and godDAMMIT I’m getting really tired of my kids owning me .” – Twitter @GrantTanaka
Now, I’ve forgotten my point…
Damn this fleeting short-term memory! I would’ve gone the whole night without eating were it not for the fact that the smoke alarms kicked in after five minutes or so. I need to start writing things down.
It sounds like a best seller!
I understand that kids are innocent little explorers without experience or foundation. Still, when your child tries multiple times to eat the dog, you have to be at least somewhat concerned for their cognitive development.
That didn’t go according to plan.
That’s the power of music, right there. One minute, you’re turning red, and the next minute — you’re singing along to “I Just Can’t Wait To Be King” from Disney’s The Lion King.
Tricky little bugger.
Trust me when I say that I know how much your brother deserves it. Unfortunately, I can’t allow you to hit him as a reward for not hitting him. It kind of defeats the entire purpose behind the rule.
How do they always seem to know whenever you’re in there?
“If I ever get kidnapped and taken to an undisclosed location, I’m sure my five year old will find me whenever they let me use the bathroom .” – Twitter @Dadpression
