Do you remember a moment from your childhood where you got in trouble with your parents, but instead of them yelling, all they did was release one of the most poignant sighs your tiny ears ever did hear?
This list is full of moments that would cause that type of sigh, but this time it’s all adult-on-adult disappointment, meaning the feelings are even stronger .
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“When you order the ‘three meat skillet’ and this comes out.”
I like to consider myself somewhat of a skillet connoisseur as it’s my go to order for any establishment that has it on the menu, and I must say this is a simply pathetic attempt at what a skillet should be. For shame.
“We’ve got a can crusher at work and this is what the recycling bin looks like, most of the time.”
It’s right there on the wall and people still don’t do the most basic action of crushing their cans? Also who at your office is the serial Diet Coke drinker, you should be worried about their health.
“Driver parked his truck and disappeared. Mine and another car were blocked in for over 3 hours.”
Who…does this? No, really, who does this? Who goes through life thinking this type of behavior is okay and normal and there’s nothing wrong with it? There’s an empty spot right there. Come on.
“Failed a driving exam because somebody behind me honked.”
To make it worse, apparently this person asked the supervisor, “If he didn’t honk, would I have passed?” And she said yes! Do driving tests expect people to have control of everyone on the roads these days?
“Spent four years getting my master’s degree and the mailman bent my diploma.”
A good trick is to never get too excited about something coming in the mail. That’s a surefire way to make sure it gets delayed, lost, or damaged. The universe can pick up on these signals.
“Expectation vs reality. AKA I think my wife is pregnant.”
Maybe she just has superior taste in Veggie Straws. The yellow and orange ones are the best after all, though I’ll give you that it is a little rude for her to pick them out like that.
Uncooked imposters.
“Had to go to the city an hour […] decided to grab a rare McDonalds […] made it halfway home before I bit into one of these not-McDonald’s-nuggets in the car, in the dark and almost puked.”
“The illusion of choice.”
Man, they’re not even trying anymore are they? At least when this lie was first discovered they hid the bag in a box, but here they simply do not care if you see them all go to the same place.
“Would you like to play a game?”
Hold on, Crayola makes candy? That feels like a concern on its own! One not-too-bright kid is going to snack on these gummy worms, see the same packaging on a box of crayons, and is then going to make a very bad decision.
“Are FIVE leaf blowers really necessary?”
Listen, do you want the leaves gone or not? Sure, five people is a lot, but you can bet they’ll blow away all that debris far faster than one poor person doing it all by themselves. Look at how pristine that grass it behind them!
“Noticed my girlfriend’s keyboard the other day.”
Oh my god? You need to talk with your girlfriend right away. I fear she may actually be an alien in disguise because this is not human behavior.
“This is what Panera Bread considers to be a PB&J sandwich for $6.”
At this point they may as well just start handing people wet pieces of bread. People will still go there. They’ll still spend money on it. Panera will get away with their transgressions yet again.
“When you take the wrong leftovers container to work and all you have for lunch is baked beans.”
As far as lunches go, this isn’t too bad! It’s meal-enough and while your coworkers may not appreciate it, at least you’ll get a full, hearty meal to energize you for the rest of your day.
“Guess which unit I’m looking for… #09.”
To find Unit 9, you have to make the hardest journey of all, and that’s learning to follow your heart without hesitation. It will take you where you need to go.
“Guy using the flashlight on his phone so his kids could see the animals better in a Nocturnal Animal exhibit.”
I wonder how he’d like it if someone installed a spotlight in his room to turn on and blare into his eyeballs while he’s trying to sleep. I bet he wouldn’t. I bet he wouldn’t even get the comparison I’m trying to make here.
“Tore the house apart for over an hour, had enough and went to make my son breakfast.”
A classic switcheroo, annoying in the moment but extremely funny to look back on.
Also, any reason why you just have one loose egg rolling around your fridge? Was the carton really too cumbersome?
“I married someone who refuses to refill the ice cube tray and uses three trays of ice cubes a day.”
Literally what on earth could your spouse be doing that uses three ice cube trays a day . That’s absurd. I’m struggling to even think of a guess because none of them seem like enough. Running a secret Starbucks out of your garage, maybe?
“This guy has been talking on the phone for 10 mins with his flashlight on.”
That girl in the pink is looking at you like, “Yeah, that’s right, catch him in the act. Secure that evidence of him being annoying.”
Or, alternatively, “You’re no better than him, you know. Taking photos of strangers. Reflect.”
“Someone stole the bloody toilet.”
Seeing that the pipe is sealed off, it’s hopefully someone actually replacing it, but you’d think they’d put up a sign or some tape or literally anything to prevent people from walking into the stall anyway.
“This is the inside of the bathroom door at a bar in NYC. After some cocktails, it is impossible to pick the right one on the first try.”
I mean, the real doorknob not only has a gold-colored plate surrounding it, but it is in the traditional doorknob spot. Unless that one’s a decoy and the real knob has been moved. Sneaky…
