Love isn’t always pretty and it most definitely isn’t easy. It requires sacrifice and a renewed dedication each and every day. Most of the time, it feels pretty great. But every once in a while — loving someone means calling them out on their bullshit.
At least that’s how 60-year-old Redditor Classic-Goose-8228 feels after publically shaming her son for his failures as a husband and father. Now that the dust has begun to settle, she’s beginning to wonder “am I the asshole?”
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She begins by explaining that her son and daughter-in-law have three children, ages 2-4.
“He convinced her to be a stay at home[sic] mom and sell her business by telling her how good of a childhood he had and how happy my marriage was,” Classic-Goose-8228 explained.
However, her son neglected to mention that his parents’ arrangement also stipulated that before 9 AM and after 5 PM — childcare duties were to be split 50/50. Sundays were always a day off, and there were at least two dinner dates a week.
Classic-Goose-8228 noticed her daughter-in-law was struggling with her mental health during a recent visit.
So in order to help alleviate some of the stress, Classic-Goose-8228, her sister, and a mutual girlfriend decided they’d spring for a relaxing couples’ spa retreat for her son and daughter-in-law. When all of a sudden, Classic-Goose-8228 received a phone call:
“I was preparing on Thursday evening for the kids to arrive when my dil[sic] rang me holding back tears saying they’d[sic] won’t be going because my sons[sic] friend came to town and he said he wanted to spend the weekend with his friends catching up.”
Shocked by the news, Classic-Goose-8228 began pressing her daughter-in-law for information about their home situation.
“She came clean about him doing no chores, no date nights and her basically doing all of the child care because ‘that’s what stay at home[sic] moms do,'” Classic-Goose-8228 said. “I was honestly disgusted.”
After her daughter-in-law calmed down, Classic-Goose-8228 was able to convince her to go to the spa with a friend and leave the kids with her — she even gave her daughter-in-law an extra €500 in order to buy herself something nice.
After her daughter-in-law came back with the kids, Goose-8228 insisted on knowing where her son was.
Although hesitant at first, the daughter-in-law eventually revealed which bar her husband and his friends were drinking at that night. No sooner had she left for the spa was Goose-8228 in her car headed off to find her son (don’t worry — the kids were with her sister).
She parked the car, walked into the lobby, and quickly spotted her son sitting with a group of friends — discussing their high school heroics with pride.
Goose-8228 locked eyes with her son as she walked across the room and sat down at the table next to him.
“Did i[sic] fail you as a mother ,” she asked in earnest, “or was it your father? Because we both thought your partner comes before your silly drunk friends.”
Things escalated and quickly got out of hand. When all was said and done, Goose-8228 was escorted off the bar premises and found herself banned for life. Her son, humiliated and ashamed, couldn’t shake the feeling that he had been betrayed by his own mother.
Now, the daughter-in-law has temporarily taken the kids to her mother’s house.
On top of that, Goose-8228’s son thinks his mother is a total asshole and blames her for the problems he and his wife are now experiencing in their marriage. But the rest of Reddit isn’t so sure. In fact, the overwhelming majority seems to be siding with Goose-8228.
“Ordinarily I would say it’s none of MILs business. The son brought his mom into it by using her marriage as the model for his[sic]. And since he greatly misrepresented it, she had no choice but to do what she felt was right,” wrote Redditor pkma2.
Others were quick to point out that the son’s behavior mirrored that of a man struggling with his own masculinity.
“Keep in mind, she also apparently owned her own business ,” Reddit user redmax7156 remarked. “To my mind, making her sell that speaks of some threatened masculinity + wanting to curtail her independence.”
Where do you stand: do you think that Goose-8228 was in the right to do what she did or was a line crossed? Leave a comment below and let us know your thoughts!
