While we can all point to memories that are cherished and show important bonds between our families, we can often find that the little ways we communicate with each other can make a big difference as well.
For instance, I’ll always appreciate and be mystified by how my mom seemed to catch on immediately to the wants and needs I had as a kid before I even said anything. But I also love that we share this weird silent laugh between us that neither of us do with anybody else.
But while some of the things that parents and children share are as hard to explain as that, others show their importance a lot more clearly even if they just seem normal to the child.
And we can definitely say that about the regimen one South Carolina mom shares with her daughter every day.
Last month, Tiania Haneline of Myrtle Beach, South Carolina posted a video on TikTok that demonstrated the affirmations she has her daughter Scarlett repeat every day.
Although there’s some variation in what Haneline specifically wants Scarlett to tell herself, we can largely fit them into three categories of affirming her personality, affirming her beauty, and affirming that she is loved.
For instance, in both the original clip released on July 15 and the follow-up released four days later, the mother and daughter say, “I love my personality,” “I am a good friend,” “I am kind,” “I’m a good sister” and “I am an amazing daughter.”
Mixed in with these affirmations are physical ones such as “I am healthy,” “I am beautfiul, “I love my beautiful bouncy curls,” “I love my full lips.”
Although Haneline has always shared these affirmations with her daughter, the inclusion of these physical reminders had a lot to do with why she shared them with the world during a time of widespread protests against systemic racism.
As Haneline told Good Morning America, “People are going to look at her as a Black woman. They’re not going to see her as a mixed-race woman. Instilling that, ‘I love my brown skin, I am beautiful, my curls are beautiful…’ I just want to instill that in her. So whenever she does get called names, because I know she’s going to, that it’s not going to bother her.”
And while some of those affirmations are “I am loved,” “I am cherished,” and “I am worthy,” they also get more specific.
These include, “My mommy loves me, “my daddy loves me,” “my brothers love me,” and “Jesus loves me.”
As Haneline said , “You literally wouldn’t think that she gets it. But the confidence, I feel like she is building it herself — like looking in the mirror and just having this like, fierceness about her.”
And not only has this practice apparently influenced how Scarlett sees herself, it’s also affected how she sees others.
As Haneline said , “She will affirm other people, so she’ll tell me, ‘Mommy, you’re so beautiful, I’m so proud of you.’ Like it’s crazy. I feel even at this early age of only being three and just seeing her confidence, like I can just imagine what it will be when she gets older.”
At the time of this writing, the original affirmations clip has attained 3.7 million views, over 863,000 likes, and 3,881 comments.
Most of these responses praise Haneline for her affirming parenting style and many express wistful feelings of wishing they heard something similar while growing up.
As Haneline told Good Morning America, “I’ve had so many teenagers and even adult women that have said, ‘I wish so much my parents would have done this for me when I was little. I wouldn’t hate myself or I wouldn’t hate my hair. I wouldn’t hate my brown skin. For them to say that to me, really makes me feel like I’m doing the right thing.”
h/t: Good Morning America
