We hear a lot about dad jokes — you know, those jokes that are so corny that they’re almost good.
Well, now it’s time to talk about mom jokes. We’re not talking about the grade school variety, either, because the world needs more jokes from a mom’s perspective.
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1.
Boom, roasted.
2.
If this worked, it would be known as the one weird trick to end all one weird tricks.
3.
Nothing would strike fear into a police officer’s eyes quite like their own angry mother.
4.
If you can hear them, you can kind of tell what they’re doing. If they’re silent, though? They could be doing anything.
5.
We’ll file this one under “ask stupid questions, get stupid answers.”
6.
It’s true — mom is aware of recesses in the house that nobody else ever knew existed.
7.
It’s the same reason why mom probably hasn’t eaten her favorite pizza toppings in nine years.
8.
This one’s kind of clever, but it doesn’t really have a punchline. It just ends at a stalemate. An appropriate response might be, “Yes, mom, I know. Gross.”
9.
We all harbor fantasies of being the perfect family and the perfect parents, but sometimes you have to bust out the big guns.
10.
You might get away with some of our valuables, but at least your feet will really hurt.
11.
This one is so brutal that it almost isn’t fair.
12.
Hey, parents, remember the days when you could go to the washroom and actually close the door?
13.
This is more than iced coffee. It’s more than hot coffee. It’s every type of coffee at once. It’s a disaster.
14.
It’s a conundrum: do you want to stifle your kid’s creativity? They might be the next great artist. Then again, they probably won’t be.
15.
It’s weird how this camaraderie disappears almost immediately when they wake up in the morning.
16.
This is a good opportunity to play the world’s smallest violin for your kids.
17.
The idea of Sunday morning being chill and relaxed is just a beautiful fantasy when you’re a parent. You’ll get Sundays back in about 18 years.
18.
Eventually, every parent finds themselves in a situation where they’ll need to discuss religion with their cat.
19.
I don’t want to get too gendered here, but this really feels like a dad joke.
20.
It would be nice to disappear for a couple of days, at the very least.
