As parents, we always feel like our kids are the absolute worst whenever they do anything wrong. We stomp and scream and wish that we had “better-behaved children” just for a moment or two. However, we forget to remember there are dozens of kids all over the world who are sometimes terrible, too—as bad as our kids, if not sometimes worse. They make us grateful to have our own kids.
Preventable problem? Yes.
Kid’s curiosities can be very, very expensive. For some reason, kids think that it’s smart to shove things up their noses. Not sure why, or how, they learned to do this. However, they do it all of the time.
Now it’s a potty chair.
Apparently, sometimes kids think that just about anything is a potty chair when they are potty training and figuring out themselves. But, definitely not the chair in the living room that we all sit on regularly.
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Triggering.
Sharing anything with our kids means that it will ultimately get ruined overtime. The toothpaste is the one thing that kids will absolutely mess up and ruin. No one wants to touch gooey and gross toothpaste like this every day.
Only a criminal opens chips this way.
Note to self: never let my kids open anything on their own. Always open things for them. Now, I have to eat the chips right this second before they go bad and get stale in about 1.5 seconds.
Whose child is peeing in public?!
Not only is he peeing in public in front of the entire world to see, but he’s also doing it in a toilet that does not flush at all. Display toilets are not the place to go to the bathroom.
A whole stained car.
There’s nothing like going into your backseat and seeing your kids treat it like a garbage can. No one wants to have their backseat looking like a dumpster fire. This is going to take a whole team of cleaners.
Who’s pulling harder?
It’s bad enough when we have to take our kids somewhere, like on a trip, but traveling with a kid and a dog at the same time is asking for a whole mess of trouble. No leash is strong enough for both.
Literally just let me hide in the racks.
There’s nothing more embarrassing than seeing a kid destroy every display in a store. But, when you realize that it is your kid who is doing it —well, you would rather just crawl into a hole and die.
Imagine cooking this beautiful sandwich for your kid to say no?
Whenever your kids are hungry, you’re on chef duty. And, when you ask them what they want, sure, they will tell you. But, they’ll end up not eating it and you’re stuck with a whole egg sandwich.
Flattering picture, no?
Not only did this child savage her mom by drawing her so big and round, but she also made it out like her mom does absolutely nothing other than text and sit on the couch. Awkward mom moments.
Just walk away.
You walk into your living room and see your two kids ripping the stuffing out of your entire couch. What do you do? I know the answer—walk out of the room and just get into the car and drive away.
A true first.
Changing diapers is definitely bad enough, especially smelling all the poop your kids make. But, being covered in the poop— all over you , your shirt, your jeans—it’s worse than anything in the world. There’s no cleaning that smell out.
What kind of backwards trade is this?
Your kids will always want to give away their stuff to friends—despite how expensive things may be. Kids don’t understand the value of a dollar, they just know the stuff they want and when they want it.
Yikes.
If your daughter is the one who steals the baby goat from the petting zoo and runs down the block with it, well, you’re always going to be known as the mom or dad of the girl who tried to steal the goat from the petting zoo.
This is why we can’t have nice things.
Hide your makeup always from your kids because not only will they use the makeup, they may eat the makeup, too. Especially the lipstick. It looks like a push pop to some of those kids.
This kid ain’t talking cheap.
You don’t want to ruin the whole “tooth fairy” story for your kids, but you also don’t want to give into their terrible demands—like asking for $20 for a tooth that’s definitely only worth $5.
It was too quiet in there.
It’s so nice when your kids are playing quietly and you can get some peace for your day. But, then you go into their room and see that it looks like a bomb went off and you regret it.
Holy hell.
We always neglect to deep clean our car for a very long time. Years go by sometimes because, well, we’re busy. But, our kids definitely make a whole mess of our cars, because we can’t watch them while we drive. And, it’s a disaster.
Hide your car keys.
This kid decided to take his parent’s car for a joy ride and hit the gas so hard, it crashed into the neighbor’s house totally destroying their door and siding. How do you apologize for that?
It’s not designer, it’s vomit.
This poor dad complimented the design on his wife’s dress only to find out it was not a designer dress, but instead, it was baby vomit that slid down her back. Poor mom is just out and about.
That’s a good reputation.
Teaching kids about their periods is not something we do at 3-years-old, so explaining to them that you definitely don’t have a mouse in your butt but instead have a cotton swab up your vag is a bit troublesome.
High compliments.
No matter how bad you feel, your kids will always make you feel worse. They are the most honest and real people that you will ever meet and they have no filters. So, they’ll let you know when your nose is weird.
RIP toilet paper.
Especially during a global pandemic when we were fighting in the streets for toilet paper—it’s hard to picture the entire package taking a steam bath in our tub. Poor mom and dad have to wipe with … nothing for a while.
That’s going to take a while.
Coloring doesn’t always stay on the paper, we know this as parents. But, when it ends up on their face, it’s not the best. That’ll take forever to get off and how do we explain to the school they’re not poisoned, they just are creative?
