Ever had a friend who just doesn’t understand boundaries? Well, buckle up, because this story is all about that! Our protagonist used to go to church and made some great friends there. One of these friends is now married to a woman who, sadly, became severely disabled after an accident. The husband is her primary caretaker, but when they all hang out, it seems like he’s more interested in using his friends as free babysitters than actually spending time with his wife. Things get really uncomfortable, and our protagonist is left wondering if they’re the one being insensitive. Let’s dive into this emotional rollercoaster and see what unfolds!
Church Friends and a Life-Changing Accident

The Wife’s Condition ️

Uncomfortable Outings

Communication Struggles

Caregiver Duties?

Involving Everyone

Excluding the Couple

He Finds Out!

His Response

Insensitive or Justified? The Ultimate Dilemma
So, our protagonist and their church friends have been hanging out with their married friend and his disabled wife. However, it seems like the husband is more interested in using his friends as free caretakers than actually spending time with his wife. From leaving her at the table with one of them while he chats with the rest of the group, to making them all watch her play sports, it’s clear that he’s not being considerate of his friends’ feelings. Eventually, they start hanging out without him, and when he finds out, he’s furious! Our protagonist tries to explain their reasoning, but the husband tells them all to go to hell and cut ties with him unless they start treating his wife with “respect”. Now, our protagonist is left feeling guilty and unsure if they were in the wrong. Let’s see what the internet thinks of this situation…
NTA commenter empathizes with disabled wife and criticizes husband’s behavior

Friend called out for being a crappy friend to disabled woman. YTA

User calls out OP for infantilizing disabled wife ♀️

Experienced commenter supports OP’s decision and calls out friend’s behavior

Suggest having a conversation with husband to avoid hostility

Supporting disabled spouse may strain friendships, but don’t abandon them.

Friend can’t handle husband’s dedication to disabled wife

Being friends with a caregiver requires a lot of commitment

Suggesting respite care for overwhelmed husband caring for disabled wife

Friend’s decision not to socialize with disabled wife criticized.

Insensitive friend criticized for not supporting husband’s dedication to disabled wife
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Suggest offering help rather than shunning. Communication is key.

Friend criticized for lack of empathy towards disabled wife.

Friend asking others to physically care for his wife is wrong . However, taking out 30 minutes to include her in sporting activities is a basic friendship stuff. Both needs to interact in a new normal. Being a caretaker unwillingly is tough. ESH.

Friends question if husband prioritizes disabled wife over social events

Friend’s ableism puts husband’s dedication to disabled wife in jeopardy

Blunt honesty: NTA for refusing to take care of friend’s wife
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Caring for a disabled partner is hard, but kindness goes far ❤️

NTA commended for acknowledging the difficulty of caring for a dependent.

Encouraging response to NTA’s approach towards a difficult situation

Husband’s insensitive behavior towards disabled wife concerns commenter. #EmpathyNeeded

Friend’s trauma affects behavior, but ghosting is not okay.

Empathetic comment shows concern for disabled woman’s social life.

Compassionate comment reminds us to be kind and empathetic

Suggests giving the disabled wife some space to socialize

Disappointed commenter calls out churchgoers’ hypocrisy. YTA.

Friendship jeopardized as husband expects friends to care for disabled wife

Don’t be an a**hole to disabled people. Check your ableism

YTA. Your friend is asking for basic human decency.

Choosing honesty over toxicity and false martyrdom

Friend called out for lack of compassion towards disabled wife

NTA but there are better ways to include his wife

Husband needs to talk to friends with wife, not leave her. NTA

Curious commenter asks what Jesus would do in the situation.

ESH – Husband needs communication help, friends need empathy

Proper training is crucial to care for disabled individuals. NTA.

Including disabled spouse in outings: NAH or friendship jeopardy?
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ESH except the friend’s wife. It’s important to include and help the friend’s disabled wife, and communicate with the friend about the issue.

Navigating friendship boundaries when caring for a disabled spouse

Expressing feelings is valid. You’re NTA

Suggesting alternatives for exhausted husband’s caregiving dilemma.

Don’t judge a man for being devoted to his disabled wife

Judgment suspended, story seems incomplete

Friend’s neglect of disabled wife causes strain on friendships

Empathetic commenters support NTA for standing up for abused wife

This comment highlights gender expectations in caregiving with sarcasm

Friend overreacts to exclusion from activities due to wife’s disability

Defending the husband’s decision to prioritize his wife’s needs.

Compassion for disabled friend’s caretaker husband; NTA for OP.

Friends should support husband’s dedication to disabled wife. ESH.

Caring husband’s friendships at risk due to wife’s disability. NTA.

NTA for not wanting to care for disabled wife, but try finding a middle ground to support husband.

NTA. Friends should not be taken advantage of for caretaking

Friend calls out OP’s dehumanizing attitude towards disabled wife

Person calls out commenter’s lack of empathy for disabled wife.

You’re NTA for excluding a friend from certain occasions

Empathy is key: NAH friend offers advice on communication.

Excluding disabled wife’s husband makes commenter YTA

Friend calls out YTA for mistreating husband’s disabled wife.

Friend gently calls out YTA for not supporting disabled wife’s hobbies.
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Suggest accessible activities, don’t alienate a friend with disabilities
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Harsh reply calls out YTA for not being a caretaker.
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Concerned commenter suggests calling Adult Protective Services for disabled wife

User points out husband’s dedication to his disabled wife.

Insensitive comment sparks backlash. ESH for lack of empathy.

Communication is key. Friends should have talked to him first.

Friend ghosts husband caring for disabled wife, blames them for rejection

Don’t exclude disabled friends from social activities

Don’t judge the husband for trying to make his wife happy
