Having thick thighs is the best, but it does come with a unique set of obstacles.
Sure, you look great in almost everything, but I bet you’ve also had your fair share of pants-related mishaps.
If you’ve got thick thighs, I guarantee you will relate to at least half of the problems on this list.
1. You’ve probably lost a lot of great pairs of jeans to unfortunate rips over the years.
Who among us hasn’t innocently tried to bend down slightly, only to have our jeans tear like tissue paper?
This always happens you’re least expecting it, and honestly, it’s traumatic. Someone should start a support group.
2. You might want to wear the cute, trendy jeans with lots of holes in them, but your thighs probably have other plans.
It usually takes my thighs 0.03 seconds to break through every single one of those oh-so-delicate threads, but I will never learn my lesson.
3. Can we start making belt loops out of a stronger material? It’s 2018.
Like steel or vibranium, perhaps?
I am just so tired of getting a fistful of belt loop every single time I try to hike up my jeans, like, half an inch.
4. The backs of my thighs are already stinging just thinking about sitting in a plastic chair in the summer.
Don’t even get me started on those vinyl booths in restaurants. I can practically hear the sound of my thighs being pried from their annoying, sticky surfaces.
5. If you’ve ever worn a pair of denim cutoffs, you know what it’s like to live life on the edge.
Denim shorts are always a gamble, but that’s half the fun. Will my these shorts last all day? Or will my thighs Hulk out of them? It’s anyone’s guess.
6. Thigh chafe is all too real, and it’s the bane of your existence.
Humans are such a useless species because we haven’t evolved past the annoyance that is thigh chafing.
Can someone cryogenically freeze me and wake me up when there is a scientific solution to this problem?
7. The worst part about dealing with chafing thighs is attempting to MacGyver your outfit into something less painful.
You know, like pulling down your shorts every ten seconds or shoving your skirt in between your thighs.
8. Baby powder is your best friend.
The smartest decision you ever made was buying a travel-sized bottle of baby powder and throwing it in your purse. Baby powder is too clutch during the sweltering summer months.
9. You never know what you’re going to get when you take off your jeans after a long day.
There’s literally a different pattern imprinted on my skin every day. Sometimes, it’s the shape of a rip. Other times, it’s the imprint of a seam and it runs down my entire freakin’ leg.
10. I’m still mourning the loss of too many pairs of leggings that were gone before their time.
They still had so much to live for, but alas, my thighs were too powerful and could not be contained by mere fabric.
11. I am screaming because this is way too relatable.
Sometimes, having thick thighs is like having your own personal cheerleading squad. and it’s amazing.
I mean, who doesn’t like to be applauded?
12. I feel bad for people with small thighs because it means they can’t load them up with as many snacks.
My thighs are the only plate I need when I’m binging Netflix and eating my way into a sugar coma.
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13. Realizing that thigh-high boots are not always one thighs fits all.
Fitting your feet is one struggle on its own, but worrying if you’re going to be able to hike up those boots is a whole other problem.
14. No, that’s okay — who needs their pants to perfectly form to their skin? The new trend is having an unwanted gap between their jeans and their body. Everyone’s doing it.
Everyone with thick thighs, that is, because they literally can’t help it.
15. Even when you do want to lose a little thick around the thighs, trying to find proper athletic gear is nearly impossible.
I hope you like holding up your shorts on your jog around the block or flashing your neighbors with a little under-bum.
16. You’re using the word “useless” wrong.
That is a skill that should be celebrated all across the land. No more bending over to the table, and you can enjoy your drink hands-free.
17. Honestly, when did the obsession with thigh gap become a thing? Who invented it, because I need to have a serious word with their manager.
This shouldn’t be a thing, and no one needs to strive for it. This message brought to you by the Body Positivity Fairy.
18. The constant struggle that is shopping for pants because apparently, if you have thick thighs, that must mean you have a thick waist, and just no.
How has the fashion industry not gotten around to making pants that fit all body types? It’s 2018, y’all!
19. Giving yourself personal snaps when you remember to use deodorant, but not on your armpits.
Guys, this hack can save lives. Wait, I’m sorry. I said that wrong.
Guys, this hack can save thighs.
20. One good thing is that you can get your sewing level to Martha Stewart as you continue to fix all of the bottoms your gorgeous thighs have destroyed.
And then you start the new patched-leggings trend that’s sure to be all the rage.
21. I want to get this post tattooed across my amazing thighs because it is just so positive.
Not only are thick thighs perfect for holding snacks, but they are also the perfect bed for your furry friends.
22. Why is this bird so darn relatable?
This is literally exactly how I feel when I sit down after a long day.
I’m adding this image to my mood board because that bird is a body positive icon.
23. If anyone ever says anything about your thighs, you know exactly how to deal with them.
Either do this or simply crush them with your glorious thighs. The options are endless, really.
Sure, having thick thighs can be a pain sometimes, but we wouldn’t want to be any other way.
Thick thighs might be deadly when it comes to jeans and haters, but they are also beautiful.
