If you come from the type of family that has binders and binders of old photos, you’re sure to run across a few gems.
If you want to enjoy the cringe of old family photos but not the cringe of seeing your younger self, you’ve come to the right place.
This looks like a horror movie.
There’s something about vintage costumes that really unnerves me. Why is Santa’s beard so fake? Why is Santa paired up with a terrifying Miss Piggy? Why is any of this going on, and why is no one stopping it?
What are you looking at?
I just love how only one of them is in a suit, and he’s the only one smiling. The other three are staring right through the camera lens, right through time and space, and directly into our souls.
Jackass: 1970s edition.
As stunts go, it isn’t much: jumping over two lawn chairs in your backyard. But remember, this was a simpler time. I’m sure this wild and dangerous move had the whole neighborhood captivated. Then again, maybe not.
Who’s that guy creeping on John Stamos?
I guess noticing you’re on the same flight as John Stamos, then creeping up behind him for a photo op is one way to get a pic of you with John Stamos, but it is a bit rude.
Safety didn’t exist yet.
Nowadays, kids need car seats well into childhood. When I was a kid, I just sat in the normal seat — but I did wear a seatbelt. Back in the ’60s, though, you just piled the whole family into the car.
Like Icarus, he flew too close to the sun.
Here’s a typical childhood memory captured forever on film: thinking you’re brave enough to go on a ride at the amusement park, then being an absolute chicken when the ride actually starts up.
The best dance teacher.
I could try to think of a few scenarios where Catwoman would teach a bunch of kids how to dance in some kind of dilapidated rock quarry, but none of them would seem all that plausible.
There’s only one decade this photo could be from.
The mustache, the nylons, the expressions of joy mixed with angst…this photo is most definitely from the ’80s. It looks like dad is more than a little bit frazzled from all the Christmas festivities.
Afternoons with grandpa.
I wonder if this, the time grandpa drove down to check out the train derailment and explosion, has become a formative memory for this person. It seems like the kind of thing that would stick in your head.
Time for a nice family dinner.
Sometimes you’re just about to sit down for dinner and your house catches fire. No worries, the fire department will come in, smash a massive hole in the wall and put it out. Then you can finally eat.
You okay, bunny?
This Nesquik bunny seems so resigned to his job. He’s half asleep and his eyes aren’t even pointing in the same direction, but he’s still got a job to do. He’ll hoist up those kids for a pic, but he’s not going to smile.
Bath vibes.
I like the caption: “This image dates back to August of 1990, roughly nine months before I was born.”
Clearly, mom saw this sensuous bath scene with the wine, a few things happened, and nine months later they were parents.
How to get to Sesame Street.
I’m thinking that these discount Bert and Ernie costumes were made by somebody who had only a vague idea of what Bert and Ernie look like, because the finished result is equal parts baffling and unnerving.
Gotta have those Troll pockets.
If you were a kid in the early ’90s, there’s a one hundred percent chance you had at least one Troll doll. Some kids had lots of Troll dolls. Some kids had custom shirts with many pockets for Troll dolls.
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Well that’s terrifying.
Gigantic costumed kids mascots have been a thing for decades, and it’s only really in the last few years that they’ve gotten less terrifying. Look at the horrifying state of this Mr. Blobby costume back in the ’90s.
Rest in peace.
I’ll be honest, I was a little disappointed when I clicked on this photo and read the caption to find out that it isn’t the Undertaker himself, but a cardboard cutout. Still, it’s a hilarious family photo.
With all the power of her office.
My first thought was that her hat made her look like a henchman from Star Wars , but no, it’s just her crossing guard helmet. Weird flex to immortalize it forever on picture day, but okay.
The look on mom’s face…
Those nearly vertical log flume rides are no joke. I’m guessing the mom hadn’t been on one before, judging by the way she’s shielding her son and the look of abject terror on her face.
Get in, get out.
I love how candid this photo is. They got to their destination, but they’re all clearly too annoyed to really appreciate the natural majesty of the Grand Canyon. It’s just a get there, check out the view, eat your banana and leave kind of vacation.
She must be a goat person.
I think the experience of going to a petting zoo as a kid, looking forward to feeding the animals, then being terrified as the animals overrun you and your food is just a part of growing up.
