Woman keeps her job a secret and lets guy pay for her drinks, sparks debate on etiquette
Women don’t owe anyone their job title, but is it really so wrong to let someone else pay for drinks?
Grace’s night out with her friends turns awkward when Nick discovers her job.
Grace and her bf got drinks in pairs, but Nick and her had “plenty of time to talk”
Nick tells a story of career success and pays for drinks, but gets called a jerk when his date finds out.
She let him pay for her drinks without revealing her job, leading to an awkward night when he found out!
She was being polite but he paid anyway, only to be called a jerk later.
She never mentioned her profession, but when he found out, he was not pleased ♀️
She was labelled a jerk after revealing her successful career, despite never implying it and letting him pay for the drinks.
She paid her own way, but was still called a jerk
Grace and her boyfriend take the guy’s side, saying she was selfish for not disclosing her career earlier.
Is it wrong to let a guy buy you drinks without telling him what you do for a living?
She kept her job a secret and let him pay for her drinks, but was she wrong?
My friend “Grace” invited me to a board game bar to play and have drinks with her, her boyfriend, and one of their friends “Nick”. Nick started the night by talking about his career change, his new job, and his new salary. He never asked me what I do for work, but talked about his job quite a lot. During the evening, he invited me to every single drink and even though I insisted, he insisted on paying. When we were saying our goodbyes, he found out that I was a software engineer, and he asked me why I haven’t told him. He got angry and now Grace and her boyfriend are on his side, saying that I should have told him earlier. Was I wrong to not tell him, or was he wrong to assume? Read on to see reactions to this story and find out if the original poster was the a**hole or not.
He assumed she was a cashier ♀️ and bragged about his job, but NTA!
The commenter thinks the OP is not the a**hole because the guy never asked what she did for work and bragged about his own job, often assuming she wouldn’t understand. A few replies agree and also point out how he was disrespectful to her by thinking she was a cashier like her friend. Others also mention how he tried to impress her with his money and job, but failed.
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NTA He got what he deserved!
The comment says ‘NTA’ because the guy bragged about his salary and was sexist, and deserved this lesson. Replies discuss how the guy was in ‘Alpha male’ mode and was flashing his money to the woman, and one reply says ‘He learned nothing. I guarantee it.’
Woman LEGEND for ing guy
The comment praised the woman for putting the ‘clown’ in his place without even saying a single word, and other replies commended her for her brilliant response. The comment also called her an ‘absolute f**king LEGEND’.
NTA: Nick was bragging ♀️
![Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]](https://static.diply.com/97d1fb84-f5a8-460a-b859-a12104bc526d.png)
Nick was bragging about his accomplishments and the woman played along, not revealing her profession as a software engineer. The replies included a deleted comment and another woman’s experience as a composer who is doing well in the field. Overall, the commenter deemed Nick as Not The A-hole (NTA).
NTA: ♀️ He assumed wrong
The commenter believes that the OP was not the a**hole (NTA) as she did not ask the guy to pay for her drinks and had told him he didn’t have to. The guy was being sexist in assuming that the OP was not comfortable enough to buy her own drinks and was bragging to show off. He ended up making a fool of himself.
NTA – He got what he deserved?
The comment argued that the guy was NTA (not the a**hole) because he wanted to flaunt his career and money, but it backfired because he never bothered to ask about the woman. The replies discussed that it was a huge red flag if he never asked about her job after several hours of talking and that the flaunting quickly deflated when he found out the woman’s job. They also argued that one should be proud of themselves regardless of what other people have.
NTA! A female software engineer fighting gender stereotypes
The commenter is NTA for using her profession to challenge gender stereotypes. She is supported by a reply from a female IT Security professional who has also experienced the same gender-based discrimination for over 25 years.
♀️ A man learns a lesson
The commenter said the man is ‘NTA’ (not the a**hole). He assumed things and made a fool of himself.
NTA: ♀️He got mad when he found out her job.
The commenter argues that the man in the situation was wrong for getting mad when he found out about the woman’s job. They suggest that the man’s ego trip is the reason why he was so mad, as he wouldn’t have known had he showed some interest in the woman and let her speak.
NTA Narcissistic relatives don’t care about anyone
The commenter is NTA (not the a**hole) for being amused by the man’s total lack of interest in her instead of being angry. The comment is about the commenter’s narcissistic relatives, including a cousin who didn’t even ask about the mom who passed away and instead spent the call ranting about the government. Replies sympathize with the commenter and share similar experiences.
Insecurity at its finest!
NTA, the commenter noted that the situation was a ‘no win’ and that the guy was exhibiting ‘insecurity at its finest!’
NTA or NAH?
The comment argues that the guy is not the a**hole (NTA) as he should not have to be a mind reader and ask what the woman does for a living. The comment replies in agreement with a laugh emoji.
NTA, Nick made a fool of himself ♀️
Commenter says NTA (Not the A**hole) and encourages the original poster to ignore the ‘flying monkeys’ and continue laughing at Nick who embarrassed himself and is now raging at the original poster. No replies were found.
Cashier or coder?
The commenter says NTA, as it was hard to tell the guy about her career when he never shut up. He was also acting like he didn’t understand when he found out she was a cashier, as if people only code for jobs.
He never asked what she did for a living and got mad when he found out!
The comment says NTA – it is not the woman’s fault that the guy didn’t ask what she did for a living; he chose to remain an ignoramus. The drinks were just a form of ‘a**hole tax’, according to the comment. The reply agrees, adding that it only takes a few seconds to ask the question.
Don’t be fooled by money
The commenter advised not to be fooled by money and concluded that the woman was not the a-hole.
♀️ NTA, she let him show off!
The commenter believes the woman is NTA (not the a**hole) as she let the man show off his wealth, even though he was later called a jerk when he found out what she did for a living.
When conversation goes awry ♂️
The commenter is NTA (not the a**hole) but is confused as to how a conversation concerning career would lead to someone not sharing their occupation. Replies share stories of dates gone wrong, where one person monopolized the conversation and asked inappropriate questions about the other’s job.
Don’t assume everyone’s the same
NTA (not the a**hole) for not disclosing her job title. The commenter believes the guy assumed she had the same job as Grace, while she might have changed her career. The commenter suggests everyone should ask “So, what do you do?” instead of assuming what the other person does for a living.
Conversation or entertainment?
The comment suggests that it was wrong of the woman to not tell the guy what she does for a living, and let him pay for her drinks. It also suggests that even if the guy should have treated it as a conversation, the woman should have still made the right thing to do. The replies debate whether it was wrong of her to accept that it wasn’t a conversation and make the best out of the evening by treating it as entertainment.
When he gets called a jerk!
The commenter finds the situation comical, and believes the man is not the a**hole (NTA) for it, but rather is self absorbed and angry because he got confronted with that fact.
Woman outsmarts ♂️ guy and gets called a
The commenter is YTA for being able to keep it up the entire evening, while the woman is NTA for outsmarting the guy. The commenter recounts a story of how the guy, Nick, thought the woman was a “simple, simple-minded cashier” and was trying to “impress her”, only to find out she was better than him in every way. The commenter suggests not paying him back for the drinks, as he had said “Sorry, you don’t understand that, haha.”
She outsmarted him!
NTA. She had no obligation to stop the guy from making a fool of himself. The friends’ reaction was also bad. Her hat is off to herself for how she played this!
Esh. He should’ve asked ♂️
The comment suggests that both the guy and the woman are at fault for the situation, as the guy should have asked what the woman did for a living and the woman was “kinda lying with the intention of messing with him”. The replies discuss whether the woman was lying and why the guy should have asked what she did for a living.
Who’s the jerk here?
The commenter thinks the woman is small YTA for not revealing her profession to the guy, but the replies argue that it’s normal to have conversations without asking questions and that it’s not an obligation to reveal information.
Don’t be a self-centered baby!
This comment suggests that the guy is a ‘loser’ and his friends ‘s*ck’. He wanted to ‘stroke his own ego’ but the tables turned when he found out the woman’s job. The comment suggests that he should have asked her what she does for a living and not be ‘self-centered baby’ instead of patronizing her.
A legend is born!
The commenter admires the original poster (OP) for staying calm and enjoying the situation silently. They would have become angry and sarcastic in such a situation. OP earns the title of ‘Legend’ for their actions.
Is she YTA or NAH?
The commenter thinks the woman is YTA (you’re the a**hole) for not telling the man about her job and for finding the whole thing ‘a bit entertaining.’ Replies think otherwise, asserting that the man was trying to flex his money on her, showed no interest in knowing her, and she insisted on paying for herself multiple times.
NTA: ♀️ No asking required
The commenter declared the woman ‘NTA’ (not the a**hole), saying she didn’t need to tell the man what she does for a living and didn’t ask him to pay for her drinks.
NTA and love
The commenter declared that the woman was Not The A**hole and expressed their love, in a light-hearted manner.
Grace’s BF and ♂️ get called out!
The commenter says that Grace’s behavior was NTA (not the a**hole) and entertaining. They also point out that the guy’s behavior was wrong for making the conversation all about himself and his new job, and that telling him earlier would have cost Grace the entertainment and drinks.
Miscommunication leads to a heated argument
The comment suggests that the woman was wrong for not telling the man what she does for a living early on, and that she “chose to entertain herself at his expense”. The comment also calls the man an “a**hole” for talking about himself without asking about her.
Nice gesture or not?
The comment says that guys buy women drinks not because they assume they can’t afford them, but as a nice gesture. The replies to the comment are not discussed as there are none.
She was NTA, but ♀️
The comment suggested an alternate universe scenario in which the woman was called a jerk for revealing her profession. The comment concluded by saying she was ‘Not The A**hole’.
NTA He underestimated you!
The commenter declared that the guy was Not The A**hole (NTA) for his behavior as he underestimated the woman and was embarrassed when he found out her qualifications. The commenter added that just because someone earns more does not mean they should be expected to pay for someone else.
♀️NTA: He’s the jerk here!
The commenter says NTA and explains that the guy was too busy bragging to care enough to ask the woman what she did for a living, showing his true colours on the first date. They conclude that the woman doesn’t need to waste any more time on him.
Letting someone learn the hard way
The commenter believed that it was not the woman’s fault for not telling the guy her job, because he could have saved himself by laughing at himself and admitting his mistake.
