14+ Of The Best Cat Jokes Put Up On Vet Clinic Signs

Isn’t it weird how most cat-based humor revolves around the fact that cats are basically jerks who barely care about us? I mean, I’ve got two cats and I still don’t get it. Either way, you came here for the cat jokes. Let’s get to it.

Every so often, this is topical.

You could put this joke on your sign at any time, but the best bang for this veterinarian’s buck would be to reserve it for those times when the Olympics are going on.

So true.

It was hard enough when ‘nip just existed in the shadows, but now that more and more states are decriminalizing or outright legalizing it, it’s more important than ever to have a frank feline talk.

Don’t we know it.

As a cat owner, sometimes this gets to me. Then I remind myself that I’m free to leave the house and do whatever I want while my jerk cats stay at home and chase flies around.

Okay, we get it.

Yeah, everyone should neuter or spay their pets. It’s what Bob Barker taught us. Still, this veterinary hospital is coming on a bit strong with their spay-based jokes/calls to action.

Groan.

I guess I’ll take this. It’s original, maybe, and somewhat relevant. The kids are still all about Hogwarts, right? This is solid dad humor, but I like my vets to be more daring with their cat puns.

Again with the paws.

I suppose this isn’t specifically cat related, but I’m including it here because I think, deep down, this is a cat pun. After all, cat paws are super adorable while dog paws are…dog paws.

This gives me an idea.

These places are all officially called “veterinary hospitals,” “animal hospitals,” “veterinary offices,” and so on. Why not just go big and refer to yourself as a Meowfice of Purramedics? People might still take you seriously.

When millennials become veterinarians.

I don’t know if the octogenarian cat ladies will necessarily have any idea what this sign is talking about, but I can always appreciate a vet who’s willing to riff on pop culture.

Cat owners get it.

This is almost an inside joke, because its meaning isn’t immediately clear unless you own a cat. If you do own a cat, though, you get it: this is a joke about cats puking all over the place.

Two for the price of one.

If you’re not sure that your first joke will stick, and you’ve got more sign real estate to work with (along with enough of those little black letters), why not add a second pun?

Wait a second.

This is direct evidence that plagiarism is a problem in the hyper-competitive world of cat punning. Who came up with this one first? This intellectual property is being shared with no regard for the original author.

Just a straightforward cat joke.

We can get topical, we can get risque, we can forever rip off other vet clinics. But nothing beats a classic pun like this, one the entire family can get behind.

Ain’t that the truth.

I would also accept any pun that draws attention to the fact that cats are always underfoot and, seriously, I’m going to step on one of my cats someday no matter how hard I try not to.

Heheheh.

Here we go. This sign might be a little PG13 for some people out there, but look: Eau Gallie Veterinary Hospital just wants to see your kitties, and they’re not afraid to tell you.

Yes.

This sign serves two purposes: it’s funny and even a little bit disconcerting, but it also reminds you to spay your darn cats, because those things will reproduce like nobody’s business.

Almost true.

Cats star in lots of viral videos, sure, but they’re far too lazy/entitled to actually go through the work of making them. No, cats will lounge while their hardworking owners work on the viral content thing.

They spelled “claws” wrong.

And there truly is a big difference. A cat gently kneading you with soft paws as you lie in bed? Anyone can sleep through that. But when the claws come out, that’s when things get real.

It has been foretold.

I remember my parents would always tell me this as a kid, as if it would help me better understand why our cat would literally chase me around and try to tackle me.

I know this sound intimately.

Growing up, I had a cat that had only two modes: purring or hissing. It would sometimes switch between belly rubs, keeping life exciting.

It took me too many tries to get this.

But once I got there, I laughed. Whoever managed to connect cat puns with the Cash Me Outside Girl is a creative genius.

What if you’re the one enabling the habit?

I mean, cats love the ‘nip, but we should really admit that we also love watching our cats get all weird and glassy-eyed.

This also works for dogs.

I mean, sure, dogs are our BFFs, but let’s be honest: they rule the roost, too. They’re just better at making you think it’s your idea to give them some bacon.

I totally believe that cats cheat at cards.

Is it weird that I read that sign out in my head in a Schwarzenegger accent?

Cone of Shame!

Dogs always look sad and cute when wearing the dreaded cone. Cats just look pissed off.

It’s funny because it’s true.

That guilt over hunting early humans only goes so far, though. Just because they humor us, doesn’t mean they like us.

This would just be a confusing mess.

There’s a reason “herding cats” is a negative idiom. Imagine trying to tell cats that they have to run that many miles.

Listen to Bob Barker, people.

I know that it can seem like an unnecessary expense, but there are so many stray kittens out there in the world. Plus, a lot of communities give discounts on things like pet licenses to make up for the cost after the fact.

I see what you did there.

You get to make this joke once. Try it again and it stops being funny.

Of course they love purple.

It’s the color of royalty, and as such, the color every cat feels most connected to.

Blunt and to the point.

I’ll put aside the fact that this sign seems to assume that texting cats is something that people would want to do, or are possibly already doing, because it captures the essence of cats so well.

This one’s a stretch.

The pun is really forced, but I’ll let it pass because I’m now imagining cute kitties with little mugs in their paws and I want that in my life.

Push…push…push.

They wouldn’t immediately push it off, though. They’d start with an exploratory nudge before tapping a few times, then expressing shock when things actually do fall off the edge.

They can pun in more than one language!

In case you don’t know, “gato” is “cat” in Spanish. This one’s my favorite of the whole bunch.