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Friend’s Dating Struggles: AITA For Suggesting He Lowers His Standards?

by Alfe Mercado
2 years ago
in Dating & Relationships, People & Society
Reading Time: 13 mins read
A A
Unsplash | Sean Stratton

Unsplash | Sean Stratton

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Are physical standards necessary in a relationship? One guy seems to think so, and his friend disagrees. They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but what happens when your standards keep you from finding love? Read on to find out what this guy’s friend said that upset him. Are you the A-hole for telling someone to lower their standards? Dive into this debate and decide for yourself.

Your friend’s got the money, but where’s the love? ❤️

Image credit: grandvizierofswag | grandvizierofswag
grandvizierofswag | grandvizierofswag

Navigating dating standards: Is my friend too picky?

Image credit: grandvizierofswag | grandvizierofswag
grandvizierofswag | grandvizierofswag

Is his high standard for women affecting his love life?

Image credit: grandvizierofswag | grandvizierofswag
grandvizierofswag | grandvizierofswag

Navigating dating standards: When to compromise looks for intelligence?

Image credit: grandvizierofswag | grandvizierofswag
grandvizierofswag | grandvizierofswag

Encouraging a friend to lower his dating standards. Is it okay?

Image credit: grandvizierofswag | grandvizierofswag
grandvizierofswag | grandvizierofswag

Friend’s obsession with beauty affecting his dating life.

Image credit: grandvizierofswag | grandvizierofswag
grandvizierofswag | grandvizierofswag

Navigating tough love: Helping a friend with dating standards ❤️

Image credit: grandvizierofswag | grandvizierofswag
grandvizierofswag | grandvizierofswag

Suggesting to lower dating standards: tough love or A-hole move?

Image credit: grandvizierofswag | grandvizierofswag
grandvizierofswag | grandvizierofswag

Is it wrong to suggest a friend lower their dating standards?

A friend’s dating struggles can be hard to watch, but is telling them to lower their standards ever okay? In this post, a 22-year-old man is faced with the dilemma of whether or not to tell his friend to reconsider his approach to dating. Despite his positive qualities, this friend has never had a girlfriend due to his exclusively high standards regarding physical attractiveness and success. The author believes that his friend’s parents have given him a distorted view of his appearance and worth, leading him to miss out on potential relationships. However, when the author mentions lowering his standards, the friend angrily gives him the cold shoulder. Is the author in the wrong here? Is it ever okay to suggest a friend lower their standards? Join the conversation in the comments below.

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Encouraging someone to lower standards: a sensitive topic

Image credit: Emotional_Koala_ | Emotional_Koala_
Emotional_Koala_ | Emotional_Koala_

Encouraging support for helping friend navigate dating challenges.

Image credit: Dull-Owl-1763 | Dull-Owl-1763
Dull-Owl-1763 | Dull-Owl-1763

Encouraging a friend to adjust their dating standards: a delicate balance

Image credit: BeneficialDark1662 | BeneficialDark1662
BeneficialDark1662 | BeneficialDark1662

Lowering standards won’t fix his ego problem. Stay away, ladies.

Image credit: BloodberrySmoothie | BloodberrySmoothie
BloodberrySmoothie | BloodberrySmoothie

Why being a 10 doesn’t guarantee a 10/10 relationship

Image credit: Disastrous-Low-5606 | Disastrous-Low-5606
Disastrous-Low-5606 | Disastrous-Low-5606

NTA for calling out friend’s shallow dating standards.

Image credit: 123197123 | 123197123
123197123 | 123197123

Compromising on looks for success – a fair trade?

Image credit: WiseRequirement9277 | WiseRequirement9277
WiseRequirement9277 | WiseRequirement9277

Being a true friend means telling hard truths #NTA

Image credit: ariesemerald | ariesemerald
ariesemerald | ariesemerald

When your friend asks for advice, but you still gotta tread lightly

Image credit: Lady-Faye | Lady-Faye
Lady-Faye | Lady-Faye

Navigating the harsh truth of a friend’s unrealistic dating standards

Image credit: kimariesingsMD | kimariesingsMD
kimariesingsMD | kimariesingsMD

Commenter expresses concern for friend’s entitled behavior

Image credit: x_cft_x | x_cft_x
x_cft_x | x_cft_x

Being a good friend means giving tough love sometimes

Image credit: lmoran916 | lmoran916
lmoran916 | lmoran916

Being honest with a friend about their attractiveness, NTA

Image credit: Donnathesinger | Donnathesinger
Donnathesinger | Donnathesinger

NTA’s comment and reply – play on words with ‘Inceltervention’

Image credit: Snowconetypebanana | Snowconetypebanana
Snowconetypebanana | Snowconetypebanana

Is he really looking for love or just another opportunity to win?

Image credit: Megpyre | Megpyre
Megpyre | Megpyre

Being honest with a friend about their dating standards.

Image credit: medievalsandwich34 | medievalsandwich34
medievalsandwich34 | medievalsandwich34

Supportive friend gives helpful dating advice ❤️

Image credit: JudgeDrake | JudgeDrake
JudgeDrake | JudgeDrake

The commenter suggests that the friend defines himself by the attractiveness of his partner and will probably settle for an attractive but not successful female.

Image credit: Fancy_Avocado7497 | Fancy_Avocado7497
Fancy_Avocado7497 | Fancy_Avocado7497

Sometimes the truth hurts ‍♂️ Let him learn on his own.

Image credit: neochimaphaeton | neochimaphaeton
neochimaphaeton | neochimaphaeton

Commenter compares situation to American Idol, receives relatable reply.

Image credit: survival-nut | survival-nut
survival-nut | survival-nut

Inner beauty matters more Therapy can help him see it

Image credit: blinkinbanana | blinkinbanana
blinkinbanana | blinkinbanana

Misreading ‘magna cum laude’ as ‘mega cum lord’

Image credit: maximumchippies | maximumchippies
maximumchippies | maximumchippies

Friend’s unrealistic dating standards: NTA for suggesting he lower them ‍♂️

Image credit: LongjumpingLab3092 | LongjumpingLab3092
LongjumpingLab3092 | LongjumpingLab3092

Breaking dating standards: NTA for giving advice with empathy ❤️

Image credit: MommaLokiLovesYou | MommaLokiLovesYou
MommaLokiLovesYou | MommaLokiLovesYou

Not the a**hole for calling out his shallow behavior

Image credit: shinsegae20092013 | shinsegae20092013
shinsegae20092013 | shinsegae20092013

Why should women have to lower their standards for men who put in minimal effort?

Image credit: PurpleFlavoredCherry | PurpleFlavoredCherry
PurpleFlavoredCherry | PurpleFlavoredCherry

Honesty is key Friendship requires truth, even if it hurts. #NTA

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Realism is key NTA for suggesting lowering standards

Image credit: SosFreeze | SosFreeze
SosFreeze | SosFreeze

A fedora won’t fix his dating problems

Image credit: TheOneSloth | TheOneSloth
TheOneSloth | TheOneSloth

Helping a friend navigate dating and self-image at 22

Image credit: IndependentFilm4353 | IndependentFilm4353
IndependentFilm4353 | IndependentFilm4353

Ouch, harsh but fair. When standards are unrealistic…

Image credit: Idontfallforstupid | Idontfallforstupid
Idontfallforstupid | Idontfallforstupid

Be honest, but be kind.

Image credit: YoureNotSpecialLol | YoureNotSpecialLol
YoureNotSpecialLol | YoureNotSpecialLol

Letting him lower his standards: good intentions, bad outcome

Image credit: cinnamon_dreams | cinnamon_dreams
cinnamon_dreams | cinnamon_dreams

Lowering standards for love: A relatable struggle for many men.

Image credit: Major_Bother8416 | Major_Bother8416
Major_Bother8416 | Major_Bother8416

A true friend speaks honestly, NTA for giving dating advice

Image credit: babyru926 | babyru926
babyru926 | babyru926

Commenter expresses concern for friend’s incel-like behavior.

Image credit: RushHot6174 | RushHot6174
RushHot6174 | RushHot6174

Encouraging a friend to date based on personality, NTA.

Image credit: familyofrobot | familyofrobot
familyofrobot | familyofrobot

Encouraging therapy without consent is not okay

Image credit: Milothechocoman | Milothechocoman
Milothechocoman | Milothechocoman

Suggesting to quit porn and reddit to improve dating life.

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Dating tip: Focus on building depth as a person ‍ ‍

Image credit: TheGoldDragonHylan | TheGoldDragonHylan
TheGoldDragonHylan | TheGoldDragonHylan

Honesty hurts: Friend in denial about looks and dating standards.

Image credit: Asaneth | Asaneth
Asaneth | Asaneth

Lowering standards in dating: age matters, but so does maturity

Image credit: laughingBaguette | laughingBaguette
laughingBaguette | laughingBaguette

Shallow friend deserves rejection, commenter says. #NTA

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Helpful advice on dating standards.

Image credit: londonmyst | londonmyst
londonmyst | londonmyst

Lowering standards: when to stop and when to keep trying?

Image credit: BASTARD_FOX | BASTARD_FOX
BASTARD_FOX | BASTARD_FOX

Commenter advises friend to improve appearance to attract women. ‍♂️

Image credit: Own-Safe-4683 | Own-Safe-4683
Own-Safe-4683 | Own-Safe-4683

Lowering standards: A cautionary tale

Image credit: Bambi_MD | Bambi_MD
Bambi_MD | Bambi_MD

Friend’s unrealistic standards could lead to a loveless relationship.

Image credit: dell828 | dell828
dell828 | dell828

Encourage your friend to focus on compatibility, not just looks

Image credit: secretly_ethereal_04 | secretly_ethereal_04
secretly_ethereal_04 | secretly_ethereal_04

Looks aren’t everything: NTA suggests friend lower standards

Image credit: TopAd7154 | TopAd7154
TopAd7154 | TopAd7154

Support for suggesting to lower standards and avoid toxic friend.

Image credit: tpmac44 | tpmac44
tpmac44 | tpmac44

Real talk with a hint of humor

Image credit: U2hansolo | U2hansolo
U2hansolo | U2hansolo

Steering a friend away from an incel path.

Image credit: Colywog25 | Colywog25
Colywog25 | Colywog25

Honesty isn’t always the best policy

Image credit: skirril | skirril
skirril | skirril

Helping a friend with dating standards

Image credit: LobsterLovingLlama | LobsterLovingLlama
LobsterLovingLlama | LobsterLovingLlama

Breaking out of a grand delusion: NTA for suggesting standards?

Image credit: Thyumos | Thyumos
Thyumos | Thyumos

Advice given, now give him space to figure things out

Image credit: floydfan | floydfan
floydfan | floydfan

Rejecting women for looks? OP had a valid point.

Image credit: Megmelons55 | Megmelons55
Megmelons55 | Megmelons55

Don’t settle for a dragon, wait for your princess

Image credit: TA-Sentinels2022 | TA-Sentinels2022
TA-Sentinels2022 | TA-Sentinels2022

Being a true friend means telling the honest truth.

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Facing reality: friend holding out for unrealistic standards. NTA.

Image credit: SuperSassyPantz | SuperSassyPantz
SuperSassyPantz | SuperSassyPantz

Don’t judge a book by its cover! NTA for suggesting to lower standards.

Image credit: 3kidsnomoney--- | 3kidsnomoney---
3kidsnomoney— | 3kidsnomoney—

Being a good friend means being honest, but it’s all about delivery ‍♂️

Image credit: Background-Pitch9339 | Background-Pitch9339
Background-Pitch9339 | Background-Pitch9339

You’re a true friend! ❤️

Image credit: Carlsoti77 | Carlsoti77
Carlsoti77 | Carlsoti77

Encouraging advice to support a struggling friend’s possible closeted sexuality

Image credit: Ecofre-33919 | Ecofre-33919
Ecofre-33919 | Ecofre-33919

A heartwarming NTA comment with insights and empathy ❤️

Image credit: 0kairosclerosis | 0kairosclerosis
0kairosclerosis | 0kairosclerosis

Encouraging self-care could lead to better dating prospects

Image credit: Doll_girl516 | Doll_girl516
Doll_girl516 | Doll_girl516

Comparing your friend to a Seinfeld character

Image credit: elfbentovertheshelf | elfbentovertheshelf
elfbentovertheshelf | elfbentovertheshelf

Friend’s shallow dating strategy exposed in NTA comment.

Image credit: stiletto929 | stiletto929
stiletto929 | stiletto929

Satisfying read exposing entitled men’s dating struggles

Image credit: Defiant_Breakfast308 | Defiant_Breakfast308
Defiant_Breakfast308 | Defiant_Breakfast308

Kindly suggesting to lower standards: NTA, friend appreciates it

Image credit: ActHealthy6468 | ActHealthy6468
ActHealthy6468 | ActHealthy6468
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