Sometimes, life likes to throw us a little curveball just to make sure that we are all on our toes. Without these little elements of flavour being added to everyday life, then the world would be a much more boring place.
So, from people who invented new types of cheese which baffled and amazed to individuals who didn’t know what urinals were, here are 20 times the world proved itself to be anything but straightforward!
“The squirrel uprising has begun!”
One thing that you do not want to mess with is squirrels. Now that they have the taste for flesh, nothing will stop them from devouring everything on Earth. Humanity is not prepared for this.
Someone Taking Matters Into Their Own Hands!
Hoping for someone’s armpits to become infested with a thousand fleas is a pretty bold statement. That is like something out of Dante’s Inferno…or a Simpsons’ Treehouse Of Horror Episode, they’re basically the same thing after all.
“Looking for pepper spray on Amazon and found this review. Happy to hear it’s a quality product.”
It is great to see that 65 people found this to be a “helpful” review. They not only managed to review the pepper spray, but also the quality of their, presumably ex, husband.
“Alberrrrtttttttt!”
Albert is an absolutely fantastic name for a dog. I heard someone calling their dog “Gavin” at the dog park the other day and I couldn’t believe my ears. Why is it that people giving dogs human names is so damn funny?
“Goes perfectly with my ketchup conditioner.”
Apparently “hair mayonnaise” has been around for a long time, so there you go! Also, why do hair products have to be so incredibly rude? They all just diss the hell out of your hair in a snooty tone.
“I sexually identify as Danish…”
If you click on that option do you turn into a giant pastry? Or do you just start speaking Danish? I need to know which one, as if it’s the pastry option then I would absolutely be on board with that.
“My dog is from Serbia, just found out his legal name.”
If that is not the name of a dog that is destined for greatness then I do not know what is. I can picture that name atop a festival lineup already!
“Broken doorbell at a neighbor’s place in Munich.”
I think that this would just be a much better alternative to doorbells anyway. Me and my friends have been operating like this for years now, it does a lot of people’s heads in though now that I think about it.
Well… That Is One Hell Of A Strange Choice!
This just seems as though it is going to end up being a waste of perfectly good meat and blueberries. I cannot imagine anyone going into a butchers and thinking, “Ooh, just what I’ve been craving, blueberry beef!”
“After 72 days in the NICU, we brought my son home. Two jokes later, he wished he was back in.”
Some people just really cannot appreciate good humor! Just keep going, there are 498 jokes left to tell so surely some of them have to land!
“PSA for all the ladies out there…”
Oh…well, that is just very unfortunate. I dread to think how many people came back from the toilet with disgusting purses before this establishment felt the need to put this little warning up.
“Alcohol flavored cheese… Why?”
Look, no one is doubting that alcoholic drinks and cheese don’t go well together, but does anyone really want the two of them mixed together like this? I think that if I had to choose I would go with the espresso martini flavored cheese.
“My Dad ‘fixed’ my lawnmower.”
If it is working then he has fixed it, alright! Don’t be so snobby about wooden wheels. I think that if the wheel broke on my parents lawnmower then my dad would just use that as an excuse not to mow the lawn.
“Some days you just need cheese. Courtesy of a customer at my work.”
I am sure that this customer would be less keen on having extra cheese if their ricotta was mojito-flavored ricotta! I still cannot get over those cocktail-flavored cheeses.
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“A Rubik’s cube that can never be wrong.”
And yet, I am still absolutely certain that I would find a way to get this wrong. I always hated seeing someone complete a Rubik’s Cube, it just feels as though they are rubbing it in my face.
“It took me too long to figure out why this wasn’t working… Turns out my girlfriend hoovered a spider last night.”
All that she has done now is admit defeat to the spider. The spider now lives in that vacuum cleaner, it is no longer yours.
They Need To Get Some Better Stock!
It actually looks as though it was the sign that failed, but if only there was something very close by that could be used to fix this broken sign!? Damn, what a shame.
“SLAY… Sorry, I mean to say, SAYLER!”
As someone pointed out, this well-known band had such smash hits as “Angler Of Death,” “Oar Ensemble,” and, “Raining Chum.” I think that the best part about owning a boat would be naming the boat.
“For use if it is urgent…”
I bet that it is pretty exciting to live in this apartment block! One person did also add, “This is like how toilets are in my dreams.” They should probably get a therapist to look into that.
“I’ll take ‘Animals that don’t have bones’ for $200, Alex.”
One bizarrely irate person pointed out, “So we can’t use fake stuff to decorate for Halloween any more? Guess we need to get rid of anything ghost, werewolf, vampire, zombie, etc.” Which is a pretty good point.
“Spoork…”
I feel as though this utensil must be an incredibly specialised tool for eating some sort of meal that I have never before seen. I just hope that it isn’t a liquid-based meal of any sort, as that would be pretty counter intuitive.
“I think that my book might be frozen…”
“Excuse me, I would like to return this book and file a complaint please.”
“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that, what happened?”
“Well, my father tapped the link to get his bonus chapter and now he is stuck in a loop, he just won’t stop reciting it.”
“Ah yes, that happens a lot actually.”
“I filled up the machine, boss!”
I love the idea of these stickers falling off and someone being lumbered with a Mountain Dew Code Red when they just wanted a bottle of water. What a rip off that would be, have you tasted Code Red?
“I’m do yvoegan…”
Maybe the designer of this cushion is trying to ward people off from becoming vegans or doing yoga by making exclusively hideous yoga/vegan upholstery. It is a pretty niche life-goal but at least they have a clear vision!
“When two of your passions (Bulbasaur & skincare) collide.”
What people don’t actually know is that this skincare cream is made out of crushed up Pokemon. The Pokemon skincare market is one of the most bloodthirsty markets here on Earth.
“What a confusing sign…”
“I’m sorry madam but you will have to get off your bicycle immediately.”
“But I’m only riding it to get help, there’s a person over there beating people up with a sledgehammer!”
“Maam, I will not tell you again, get off the bike!”
“Maybe they should not have done white text on a white background.”
One person did point out, “To be fair; white on white made the impossible possible,” which has blown this thing wide open. Some people are just incredible at finding the silver linings.
“Humble brag here. I’ve been using my pull-up bar a lot lately.”
Look, it is very important to get the most out of a product, and sometimes that requires using them in ways that are completely different to their intended use.
“I put the ramp in place, boss.”
That is far too steep and far too narrow for anyone to get a wheelchair up there as well, surely? Obviously that is overlooking the fact that you need to go up two steps to get to it.
“1 News on point again…”
The gemstone bowtie is a powerful look and not one that I have ever felt the confidence to try and pull off. However, I think that she looks [nice compliment about the bowtie goes here].