If you’re currently thinking that you have something that you really need to be doing, some really important thing that you have been putting off for ages, then why not kill a little bit more time with us right here, right now? You know you want to!
With this in mind, pop your feet up and enjoy these 20 people who made us chuckle like a dad making a top-tier dad joke .
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“My cat has one eye and this is how she peeks around corners.”
“She tries so hard to be stealthy sometimes that her peeking her whole head out like this made me chuckle,” wrote the owner of this adorably stealthy kitten.
“On the backside of mom’s gravestone. Every time someone asked for her cookie recipe, she said, ‘Over my dead body.'”
I think that this is a wonderful idea for a tombstone, which is a bit of a weird sentence I guess. I just wish I had a recipe that anyone wanted!
“While I was away from my desk, one of my coworkers scrambled my cubes and left me a nice little drawing.”
“I did that to a coworker once and he just laughed and finished it again in just a minute then handed it back to me,” added one disappointed prankster.
“So, why don’t you tell me a bit about yourself?”
Yeah, I really do not like this joke, it hits far too close to home. I never thought that I would sympathise with a packet full of oranges before…and yet here we are.
“Inspiring confidence every where they go!”
Maybe they are just so good at fixing other people’s windows that they do not have time to get round to fixing their own. That is the most positive spin I can put on this.
“Mr Grinch Is Working Smarter, Not Harder.”
Looks like Mr Grinch will be getting the bigger laughs out of their decorations and not paying anywhere near as much on their electricity bill during the Christmas period! Now that is how you win Christmas!
“It’s useless if you can’t swim!”
“Got it. Going to go into the water to check if I can swim without it. Wish me luck, I have never done it before,” added one person who was never heard from ever again.
“They definitely knew what they were doing with this packaging!”
Maybe this is actually a syrup made out of children. I don’t know why anyone would want that, and I really, really don’t want to know why anyone would want that either!
That Seems About Right!
That still seems to be a bit pricey for the future. Based on how things are looking at the moment you would be lucky to get a penny for it…and even that would be too much.
“Joseph looks like he has seen some serious s***.”
I mean, that is kind of the expression that I would expect from a man who has been told by his wife that she is pregnant with God’s baby and that she definitely didn’t cheat on him.
I Suppose That It Isn’t Necessarily Wrong…
I think that the person who designed these outfits must have known what they were doing! If not then this is some truly spectacular bad luck, or good luck depending on your outlook I suppose.
Those Are Some Great Dieting Tips!
This is a fantastic piece of advice. Not only can you eat what you want, but you can also get rid of all of the toxic people in your life at the same time!
This Hit A Little Too Close To Home…
I used to think that God hated me — but then, one day I prayed really hard, hoping to get some kind of validation, and God spoke to me. What he said was, “I hate you, you little stinker.” So, I was right.
“Just a polite notice for all patrons…”
If you move into a house and/or flat next to a bar and then have the audacity to complain about the noises you hear at night, then you are the worst kind of person and I hope you burn your Christmas dinner you little rotter.
“The back of the tag on these maternity pants from Old Navy.”
“Pfft, I can’t believe that people actually think that storks are real. What kind of idiot do you have to be to believe that?!”
“Dave, for the last time, storks are real!”
“Sure they are! Next you’ll be telling me that otters are real as well!”
“My dog chases Coyotes but won’t go pee in the rain unless I cover her with plastic bags.”
Coyotes are much more predictable than the weather, so I can kind of understand this! Also, just buy your dog a damn raincoat if she is so scared of the rain!
“This bozo who thought they were in the right…”
I love the word “bozo,” it’s very underused which I think only makes it better when you hear someone throwing it out. The person who wrote the bottom note also really let this guy have it.
“Cement patches from recent repairs of my home kinda looks like a lion on the edge of a cliff.”
A lot of people share the things that they saw in this, with one person writing, “I saw a woman cradling a dying person in the rain.”
“I got a long sleeve version of my favorite shirt.”
They should get a right shoulder closed shirt as well just to try and confuse people when they read it. Although, that might bring them a bit of bad luck now that I think about it.
“I instantly decided that I would book a hair appointment here!”
This is one hell of a detailed review. I also like that it is well balanced, they could have given them one star for this but they took the time to appreciate the cut as well!
