The decision to either have or not have children is incredibly personal. It requires careful consideration, time, and thought — and the decision should only be made by the couple in question.
Recently, a Reddit user wound up getting herself banned from a family party , simply for cracking a joke about having kids. It’s sparked considerable debate on an already contentious topic.
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For as long as human beings have been walking on two legs, our society has been kid obsessed.
It seems like as soon as you turn 30 nowadays, friends, parents, and even estranged family relatives can’t wait to begin pestering you with the same tired question: “when are you having children?”
The fact of the matter is, however, that times and perspectives have changed.
Back in the 1950s, it would have been considered odd for a married couple to not want children. But today, more and more men and women are choosing to forego having kids.
Some couples prefer to pursue their individual careers, others opt for a life of travel, and some simply can’t have children.
Whatever the reason may be, what’s most important to remember is that the choice is an incredibly personal one. It should only be made by the couple themselves, with no outside influence.
Recently, Reddit user Noswellin decided to host a family gathering at her new home.
“During the party, one of my sibling in laws[sic] (Alex) made a few indirect comments about all this space, and kids would love it in our house etc,” she said .
“Eventually they asked point blank when we were having kids.”
In order to deflect from the seriousness of the question, Noswellin decided to make an off-the-cuff joke to lighten the mood.
“Oh, well, I like sushi too much to have to give it up for a pregnancy,” she replied .
“Plus not drinking for pregnancy and breastfeeding? No thanks!” she joked.
Noswellin explained how the delivery of the joke was incredibly well-intentioned and designed to lighten the mood. Most of the guests laughed along, only Alex didn’t think it was funny at all.
“Children are a joy, and a good mother puts her kids before everything else,” came Alex’s reply.
Noswellin completely agreed and reiterated Alexi’s point — children are a blessing. She explained how she loves to spend time with her nieces and nephews, and that she simply made the decision to not be a mother.
Alex refused to let it go and kept insisting that when it happens, Noswellin would understand.
It was at this moment that Noswellin’s husband decided to interject with a joke of his own. “Well, if she gets pregnant, that’ll be a problem for the divorce lawyers .”
This only served to make Alex even angrier.
After the party, weeks went by with no word from Alex or their family.
Noswellin and her husband began noticing something was wrong after they failed to receive an invitation to Alex’s annual Halloween bonfire. When Noswellin’s husband called his parents to inquire, they told him how hurt Alex was.
They said that Noswellin’s remarks were both flippant an insensitive.
Apparently, Alex and their partner had gone through several unsuccessful rounds of IF. The couple also experienced some tragic miscarriages in their attempts at pregnancy.
“I can’t imagine wanting kids and struggling to have them and then deal with miscarriages,” Noswellin sympathized .
“But at the same time, I’m so tired of justifying living my life how I want.”
Aren’t we all? I’ve never once asked a couple why they chose to have kids, so why is it OK for them to ask me why I choose to forego them?
Stop trying to recruit me into your cult of personality, and I’ll do my best to keep my opinions on your little monsters to myself.
